the    sides

After 15+ years of hanging out with teens there is still one thing about the youth culture that I still don’t get…couples.

Dating. Going out. Going Steady. Beau. Girlfriend. An item. Significant Other.

I mean, I get it on a philosophical level. Most high schoolers date because they either don’t know who they are and their trying to figure it out.

It looks like this -they try to be like someone that the someone they like likes while the one who they are trying to impress is also trying to be like someone that the person they like likes… (are you following all of this??) and it’s only a matter of time before it all crashes and the clock strikes midnight.

and they say they are never going to do that again…

until someone they like comes by and they start pretending to be like someone who they think the person they like likes….(still with me?)

And of course, when you (as an adult) talk about it the filters and blinders come screaming down from the sky so that the teens that you are speaking to get this look on their face that basically communicates “Whew….good thing I’m not like that.”

It’s like the WW II joke. They tell the soldiers that 2 out 3 soldiers weren’t going to make it to the beach. Each soldier looks at the ones on the right and the left of them and says “Sucks to be you guys.”

Or you get the anger/denial/silent/avoidance treatment. You can see the symptoms/fallout fairly easily.

Complete loss of the capability to invite or engage others on any level because of complete and total consumption of the “other.”

Withdrawing from normal events like hanging out with friends or going to the movies.

Illogical, defensive reactions when questioned about anything, particularly the “other.”

Normally there is accompanying blindness to anything on the planet except the “other.” Including God, parents, friends, activities, food, and oxygen.

The couple scene. I am becoming more and more convinced that dating in high school - my experiences included - are/were a complete waste of time and energy.

And no, it’s not so much a ’spiritual/biblical’ reason for me. And no, it’s not really something I’m going to die on the hill for…

Just some observations from someone who’s been down the road a bit and is getting a little reflective at this rest stop.