sides
I wrestled with posting this. While living transparently is a huge value to me, I also realize that it opens up massive-huge cans of worms for us as a church just because of the title after my name.
So I’ve decided to post it. Not for all reasons altruistic but also because it hurt. And it pissed me off at the same time. Got this email this week.
Your preaching attire never crossed my mind until you assumed your new responsibilities. For some reason, and I really don’t know why, your sloppy attire struck me. My first thought was “oh, I wish Grant would wear slacks and a shirt when he preaches� that was it, just a thought. Then the next time I thought “you know, I should mention to Grant my feelings about his preaching attire�, but not being a confrontive kind of person I remained silent.Grant, I have enough confidence in your preaching and the exhortation of the Holy Spirit to know that they [poor family] would have returned even if you had preached in Dockers and golf shirt. Give it a try. You just never know.
We grabbed some face time this past week because I’m smart enough to know that these discussions never go well via email. The conversation was pleasant and kind. But it was pointed as well.
XX:”Are you saying that you can’t preach a Spirit-inspired sermon in Dockers and a collared shirt?”
GE:”No, my dress has nothing to do with the kind of sermon I deliver.”
XX:”By dressing as a slob, you do realize that you are completely missing a segment of our body.”
GE:”Hmmm.”
XX:”Well, to some people, they can’t get past the dress.”
GE:”Where do poor people go to church in this town? Why - by our unspoken dress code - are we asking the ‘least of these’ to be more mature than ‘the most of these’?”
XX:”I’m just trying to understand what is your avoidance to wearing dockers and nice shirts.”
GE:”Honestly, it’s this. Overdressed rich people don’t come into a context and feel intimidated, shamed, or embarrassed. They come in, they think everyone else is poorly dressed OR they next time they show up, they don’t dress up as much.
Underdressed poor people come into that context and the shame, guilt, and embarrassment is so much that they probably aren’t ever coming back. I never want dress to become a stumbling block for people to encounter Christ at Grace. Never.”
XX:”What’s with the focus of ministering to the poor lately? I mean, is this the direction Grace is headed?”
GE:”A buddy of mine a year ago started challenging me - with his life, not his words - about how rich and self centered I am. He probably doesn’t even know the impact he’s having on my life. But it forced me to re-read Jesus.
Do you know how often Jesus equated following him with helping the poor, widows, and orphans? It’s convicting me to the core. And I’m fumbling through this, trying to allow Christ to change me. I could live the rest of my days without buying another piece of clothing. I’ve got that many clothes. It’s a luxury.
And as far as the direction of the church - yes, I think it is starting to and will continue to be a focus of Grace. I’m not sure what it will look like. But could we continue calling ourselves a church if we didn’t help the poor?”
XX: “There are people who aren’t going to be comfortable with that and they will go to another church. You know that, right? So by dressing this way, you are willing to let them walk out?”
GE: “Yes and yes. I feel for those people who can’t get over preaching in jeans. But they aren’t in danger of being left out or looked over. So I don’t feel a huge call to ‘minister’ to them by what I dress in.
I also know this - they are never going to experience the fullness of Christ if they only allow that which is comfortable into their world. Is it really about being comfortable?
And more pointedly - what are you going to do with all of this?”
XX: “”I don’t know.”
The meal ended okay, we hugged, XX confirmed his love for me and the church.
But it stung on multiple levels that I am still trying to sort out.
11 responses so far ↓
1 rob // Sep 24, 2005 at 3:00 pm
dude, i admire your authenticity. i feel for you on this. continue to allow Jesus to reveal to you where you need to stand and fight and when to walk away. either way this is tough to take sometimes.
there are churches for everyone.
2 Mile20 // Sep 24, 2005 at 3:33 pm
Man, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this and that it hurts. Unfortunately, I am afraid it comes with the new territory.
I am proud that you had the courage to meet face to face with the person about this. That is always the right thing to do.
I am very discouraged by the statement, “What’s with the focus on ministering to the poor lately. Is it the direct Grace is heading?”
There is something very fundamental and telling about that conversation. What in the world have we turned the church into?
Don’t lose heart or strength. I will help hold your arms up. Let’s be unabashed in our following the way of Jesus.
Father, protect our hearts.
3 Jerry // Sep 24, 2005 at 4:44 pm
Grant, I think you would look good in a mohawk and blue hair, personally.
Sounds like leadership to me. We all like comfort and being around people that are like us. Going against that flow will take constant effort, and it will produce constant misunderstanding. But how can you not do it once Jesus speaks to you about it?
This probably won’t be the last such conversation you’ll have.
4 CP // Sep 24, 2005 at 5:15 pm
As long as you aren’t preaching in a number 7 John Elway jersey, whatever you want to wear works for me. Takes some real heart to confront some one in person in our email/computer society. I never knew how much I learned from my brother in Christ until we left emporia… Leave em’ in the Dirt!!! CP
5 Nixon Casablanca // Sep 24, 2005 at 10:40 pm
One of the “slogans” of my church is “Taking Jesus as He is to people as they are.”
Our minister has preached in an Anaheim Angles jacket before, and nobody has ever been made to feel unwelcome due to a paltry detail such as attire.
I applaud you for your attitude and stand.
6 Rev Bill // Sep 25, 2005 at 5:59 am
Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of times church folks can pick the most trivial things to pay atttion to — and misss the most importnat things!
I, too, admire your willinginess to sit down and talk to this person.
Keep the faith! Do what you feel God calls you to do!
This is not easy — and I have to tell myself this all the time — but try to do it!
7 Big Tom // Sep 25, 2005 at 6:51 am
Here is a thought from the old days when IBM wore white shirts, stripped ties and wing tips. The real policy was “never let your dress cause your listeners to focus on it instead of your message”.
8 Anonymous // Sep 25, 2005 at 6:52 am
Just another consideration for you to think about…Could dress be a stumbling block on either side, the rich and the poor? Is the target area anyone who needs Jesus? Did Jesus want the people to see Him or see God?
Keep looking to Jesus. He will steer you to what is right.
9 jeremy sawatzky // Sep 26, 2005 at 7:12 am
thats crazy.
thanks for reminding me why ill never work for a church.
10 Greg Fielder // Sep 26, 2005 at 9:07 am
Thanks for sharing, Grant. I wrote recently regarding a comment made in the movie Hotel Rwanda. A camerman tells Paul that when people in the West see footage of the massacres, they’ll say “Oh my God, that’s horrible” and then they’ll go on eating their dinnner.
I wonder sometimes if the church has done the same thing with the “least of these”.
11 jlo // Sep 26, 2005 at 10:31 pm
It’s interesting to see the looks on some people’s faces when I tell them where I go to church. The conversation goes a little like this:
Person “Where do you go to church”
Me: “The Grove”
Person: “Where’s that, I have never heard of it?”
Me: “Yeah, we’re new, young, and kind of poor, so we meet in a bar on Sunday nights on Dickson Street.”
Then there is often this blank stare on their face, especially some of the people who go to the “rich” churches.
We now have a homeless guy who comes to church in whatever “rags” he has on. He is not even afraid to smoke in front of us. I am not sure where he is at spiritually, but I think it goes to say he might not feel welcome at many churches in town because of his dress. Not saying we have it all together, but there is something about NOT CREATING an environment where the poor don’t feel welcome.
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