the    sides

We interrupt the English dinner last night to bring you this…

“This is crap.”

Camber English, 6

Nobody said anything for a second. The first thought through my mind was “What is crap?” I think the first thought through Amy’s was…”THIS IS MY 6 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SAYING THIS!! GRANT ENGLISH, THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!!!!”

Fortunately for both us, we neither one said what we were thinking. We just sat there.

Then I blew it. I really messed up.

“Honey - I don’t want to hear that word from your mouth.”

“Yes, sir. Why?”

“Because it’s an ugly word, not a nice word and you’re not ugly.”

“Yes, sir.”

Great job. I got my compliant answer of “Yes, sir,” I affirmed her worth, but missed an opportunity to reach her heart. Why is it easier to look past the junk of others to their heart than my own kids? What was she talking about? The food? The situation that she was the last one at the table and was in danger of missing desert? The war in Iraq? What was going on in her mind?

So I parented the outside and missed the inside. I made sure the exterior looked (sounded) right and good and acceptable. In the process, I further confirmed that I’m more concerned in what she says than who she is and what she thinks.

I’m going to right a book - “How To Raise A Pharisee” and I’ll sell bumper stickers with it - 2b1 ask1. I’ll ask Rowland to write the musical that includes a big solo to the tune of “If I Were I Rich Man…” titled “If I Had A Clue Phone…(As To What I Was Doing, yada, yada, yada).”

Then I read this - it’s Paul. “I consider them (all of his exterior ‘merit badges’) rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”

The unfortunate thing about going to seminary and having all those Greek classes is that I actually remember some of it. Like the meaning of the word ‘rubbish.’ It’s slang Greek for trash. I wonder what our English equivalent is?

For me, it’s easier to listen to a man rant and cuss about his wife or kids - ignore the surface stuff and dive in for the heart issues. It’s easier listening to a teen ramble along all of his (or her) issues in language I wouldn’t use and then back door on the heart.

Why? Because that is how Jesus did stuff all the time. The most obvious “issues” and “sin” are never the real, heart issues. And you can correct it and miss the heart completely. And Jesus wanted the heart…all of it. And to do that - you need grace, patience, love, and vision for transformation.

I just wish I could parent that way.

I’m sorry, Camber. I’ll be better.