sides
For some reason the other night we (my parents and Amy) started talking about marriages and folks that we knew that were no longer together. It got depressing pretty quick.
Amy and I quickly counted the number of minister families that had been cratered by divorce. I started thinking about guys who were out of ministry now because of unhealthy marriages. In seminary, there were a lot of guys who left careers to be in the ministry. Alot of them would ‘brag’ about how their wives were struggling with the lifestyle change and ministry calling but they weren’t.
I wish I could time warp back to some of those guys and conversations. I think I’d jack-slap ‘em upside the head. First of all, alot of them bought the lie that you have to be a pastor or a missionary to be in ministry. I think God can use kingdom minded lawyers, doctors, policemen, and plumbers. I often wonder if a lot of them quit their jobs and went to Africa based on indigestion…not the Spirit.
Second of all, let’s just dissect the whole “my spouse isn’t there yet” phrase.
How stupid do you have to be to not listen to the one human God has put with you to be a helpmate? I’m not saying they are always right but to blow them off shows some deeper issues. I think it shows some arrogance and complete lack of discernment.
Plus - this job is best done in community and you’re gonna want your family to be on board with that. Besides all of that - if you really do ‘get the call’ and you’re married - God will call her too.
And how immature and unrealistic does one have to be to honestly believe that you can do this job without your spouse completely on board? That’s denial or ignorance. If you are married - you are already divided in your focus. Throw kids in that mix and it gets even more divided. If your spouse isn’t just as ‘called’ as you are - welcome to the real life version of the 7-10 split. You’ll never make it.
Especially in student ministry. I think we’ve had teenagers at our house every week of our marriage (minus vacations and conferences). That’s a lot of spilt cokes and crushed potato chips.
Back to normal programming.
Tags: calling, marriage, youth ministry
6 responses so far ↓
1 Jerry // May 5, 2006 at 11:11 am
Amen. Preach it, brother!
2 kris // May 5, 2006 at 12:39 pm
well said, except … well … i must take issue w/ one statement: “I’m not saying they’re always right” — whaddya’ mean…??????
3 Mike R // May 5, 2006 at 2:50 pm
Karen and I are both called and there are days (weeks) where it is just HARD (marriage, work, kids, change every where we look.) I couldn’t imagine if one of us did not feel God had called us to FamilyLife (and Little Rock.)
FamilyLife is desperate for staff members but they realize the need for both husband and wife to be called. If they don’t think you are, they don’t let you come on staff.
Maybe that should be in seminary entrance exams.
4 clay // May 6, 2006 at 3:31 pm
“one human God has put with you to be a helpmate”
that doesnt mean you believe in “the one” now does it?
5 Grant // May 6, 2006 at 8:47 pm
When you say “I do”, then she’s the one.
6 Mom // May 7, 2006 at 11:17 pm
I can attest to your statement of you having students in your home every week of your marriage…even 2 days after Amy came home from her first Csection with Cooper.
I could have choked you . But still love you.
Mom
Leave a Comment