the    sides

Linda had a great comment here. So I’d thought I’d give it a whirl.

First - I have to admit that I had a traumatic experience with women bosses right out of college. That’s right -plural. Not one, not two, but three. I was working for an economic development district and somehow, someway I reported to all 3. A couple of things I learned during that time.

1. Just because she’s smiling, doesn’t mean she’s happy.
2. If she says “You might want to rethink…” what that really means is “You idiot, change this by the end of business.”
3. Unless she is talking to the other woman. Then it means…”I think.”
4. The 30 minutes of “great job” is a set up for the 30 minutes of “You might want to rethink…”
5. When all 3 agree on something, act immediately.
6. If 2 out of the 3 agree, keep your trap shut and let them figure it out.
7. If none of them agree, call in sick and go play golf.
8. If there are some interpersonal conflicts going on between any combination of the 3, see #7.

Now it would be incredibly immature and shortsighted to say that these insights apply to all women in all places. Just for the ones I know. On top of this, God (him being the owner of one heck of a sense of humor) gifted me with two daughters - currently 6 and 3. Early observations are that I am in for one heck of ride when middle school starts.

Seriously, women I’d love to work with…

Renee’ Sanders

Pros: I’m breaking one of my rules - I’m already working with her. BUT having her as my right hand for the last 3 years has been wonderful. She’s the best admin assistant I’ve ever had, great friend, cool husband, incredible discipler of young women, vision for the lost, creative, honest…I could go on and it could get long. Instead…let’s make fun of her…

Cons: She’s blonde…and she’s had her blonde moments. She doesn’t blog, she’s a lurker (reader not commenter). She once left a fry cooker full of oil on her back porch for a month.

Cathy Terrell

Pros: Again, I’m breaking the “already worked with” rule but I’m her “brother from another mother.” We’d tell people we were related and they’d just go completely blank in the face. (She’s black “and proud!” ha ha ha). She’s an absolute cut-up, will say anything that comes in her mind, her husband will kill anybody in dominoes.

Cons: She can cook. Yeah - she CAN cook soul food which tastes like heaven but instantly clogs your arteries. Fried fish, chicken, pork chops - good night the woman can cook. If you ate it, you would die a fat, happy person at the age of 38. She hates the snow and doesn’t know how to walk in it. (long story…)

Cindy Rhudy

Pros: If I had Renee, Cathy, and Cindy on the same Youth team - I’d assault the gates of Hell with a water gun with them. Cindy is the ultimate Mom - in a good way. No one has ever felt uncomfortable around her, gracious, loving, fun, and giving.

Cons: Her and Cathy don’t enjoy the snow all that much, she’s very short - like 4′ 9″- and can get lost in snow drifts.

Actually - now that I think about it - I’ve absolutely had some of the best women volunteers on the planet work with me - Kacy Ellis, Kim Gimple, Lora DeWald, Telisa Purdy, Amy Galli, Beth Boehm, Ann Plunkett, Karen Wenneker - I know I’m forgetting somebody so forgive me in advance.

Which is good because that balances out the worst nightmare parents that were moms I’ve had to deal with in student ministry.

Did I say that out loud? I guess I did. Moving on….

The Blonde MC at the Rocky Mountain Getaway, from Minnesota…

Pros: She’s very energetic and we’d have a lot of fun making fun of her.

Cons: Very, very, very blonde. One of our students was giving a talk and said he was from Kansas. She interrupted him to say - “That’s in the middle of the country.” The longest pause in program history followed. Quite funny.

Actually, I don’t think I’d like to work with her as much as tease her.

Cathy “Catbird” Martin

Pros: I’d never send out a poorly punctuated piece of communication ever again, highly relational, fun

Cons: Which would crack first - my abstract randomness or her concrete sequential? Auburn, Auburn, Auburn….on second thought, there’s just no way.

Then of course, there is Linda.

Pros: The great unknown - her comments are funny, pointed, and insightful, she’s got a daughter who wants to be a student pastor, she’s from the Midwest…BUT…

Cons: She likes chick flicks and country western music. That alone would drive me crazy. She’s also a dairy farmer - of which I know absolutely nothing other than I need those people due to the amount of milk that is consumed in my house. It’s a toss up.

Special considerations:
No pansy women. They’ve got to like eating BBQ, trying new things, staying up late, and understand that rules exist to serve us. When they quit serving the mission, they need to quit being rules.

Alright…I think I’ve created enough hot water for me to stand in.