the    sides

I wrote this in February of 2005:

Have we made God’s will a lot more mysterious and a lot more difficult to figure out than what it really is?

Wouldn’t you like to answer some questions, get some answers, put that to bed and not have to deal with it again?

Yeah, me either.

It’s been one crazy year for us. When Grace turned out to not be the long term fit that we thought, it started Amy and I on a journey of praying, listening, interviewing, praying some more, interviewing, praying, listening, and listening again. It’s been exhausting but not confusing. It’s been an emotional drain, but not foggy. He’s never been early but always been clear - for which we are thankful.

Along the way we’ve met some incredible pastors, wives, and leadership teams. People that we’d love to work with and do life with…but every time God’s said no. At times, I wish I’d had a vision dis-connect or theological argument or even a good ole personality clash. It’d been easier to explain and deal with.

“Hey - I need a job but the thought of looking at your ugly mug every day just wears me out!!”

We know enough to know that when the Spirit says “No”, don’t argue about it or WORSE try to force it. It doesn’t matter if your assembling a child’s toy or picking a job - every time you force something, something is going to break. Every time.

So through all of this, Amy and I figured out some stuff. We felt like we had one more run in student ministry for us. We love the youth culture, we love discipling leaders, I’d love the chance to disciple someone to the point of taking over my job. We wanted to get to a non-churched culture. If we had our druthers, we wanted to stay in a place for the next 15 to 20 years. That means that there would have to be a place for me to eventually do something other than student ministry.

I learned that not a lot of churches think this way. They (we) hire for the immediate need as opposed to a long-term relational fit and ministry. Honestly, most pastors look for a job that way - immediate need, fit, and paycheck. I’ve been guilty of that so I’ll take my own licks on that.

We wanted to work on a team that we would vacation with. If God could work that out in the Rocky Mountain region, great. If not, that’s fine. Anywhere but Cleveland or Oakland.

Now the temptation is to “God Doctor” all that language up there and make it sound like all that “came from the Lord” absolving me of all personal responsibility. I hope God ordained and worked that stuff in me. I do. But if all of that is wrong - it’s on me, not God. I reserve the right to completely miss the point. All I know is that we started asking for a place to serve, hopefully with some of our ‘wants’ in it but with this disclaimer - “God, be clear. Spirit, You’ve got the trump card. Whatever, wherever, however.”

This is where we are today…flying out to Pinecrest Community Church in Parker, Colorado on the weekend of the 13th of August to see if it’s “all green.” It’s been exhausting but clear. So far - all good. That doesn’t mean that Pinecrest is all good. It’s a church that has people in it…you can do the math from there.

It does mean that we are amped about the future and the glimmer is returning to my eyes.