sides
Got this email this morning from one of my buddies. I am somewhat ashamed, but not so much really that I laughed hard at this…
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”.
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?
A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Q: What’s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.I married a Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Okay, now admit it - even if it offended you, it was funny.
15 responses so far ↓
1 Dr. Laura // Aug 15, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Two can play at this game…
Q: Why do doctors slap babies’ butts right after they are born?
A: To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Because you are always suppose to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Q: Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
A: So that men can undrestand them.
Q: Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A: Because after thirty seconds they forget what happened.
And ladies, I am sure you can think of more!
2 Grant // Aug 15, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Ha Ha Ha….
Oh my!!!!
Laura - you need to start your own blog!!
That’s funny…I don’t care who you are.
3 rob // Aug 15, 2006 at 3:15 pm
heh heh…she said “penises”…heh heh
4 rob // Aug 15, 2006 at 3:15 pm
best one:
Q: What’s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A: A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
5 clay // Aug 15, 2006 at 3:22 pm
now thats funny, i dont care who you are.
6 kris // Aug 15, 2006 at 4:19 pm
… sigh ….
7 Grant // Aug 15, 2006 at 5:49 pm
I’m still laughing at Dr. Laura’s comment..
he he hehe…
come on, kris….you had to laugh!!!
8 Mike R // Aug 15, 2006 at 6:28 pm
Q: How many men does it take to clean the kitchen?
A: None, its a woman’s job.
Q: How many women does it take to clean the kitchen?
A: Doesn’t matter as long as it gets done.
9 Catbird // Aug 15, 2006 at 6:58 pm
you know it’s bad when even I laugh at these things.
10 Mike S // Aug 15, 2006 at 9:22 pm
So what did you wife, miss perrfect, or can I just call her by her first name, Always, say?
11 Patricia // Aug 15, 2006 at 10:28 pm
I’m totally offended and Rob (my hubby) I can’t believe you even have a favorite one!
Some were funny though.
12 rob // Aug 15, 2006 at 10:33 pm
What I meant to say is that it was a friend of mine’s favorite.
13 Patricia // Aug 15, 2006 at 10:35 pm
Good try. You mean a friend named Frob? I’m just giving you a hard time, for fun!
14 Len // Aug 16, 2006 at 9:12 am
You are an evil, evil man. (My wife was looking over my shoulder.)
15 Jerry // Aug 17, 2006 at 9:04 pm
Q. What do you do when the dishwasher won’t work?
A. Tell her to get back to work.
These are almost as funny as Thelma and Louise!
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