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Shoot Me In The Head….NOWWWW

August 23rd, 2006 · 13 Comments · 96 views

I’m sitting in San Fran Bread company working out the last details of my sermon and in walks this “older than me” woman. She is wearing a bright green, slanted stripe outfit and she is ordering.

I can smell her from here.

A very strong, fru-fru perfume smell. It’s like walking through the perfume section in Dillards. I’m about to sneeze my eyeballs out my head.

UPDATE 1:
She’s now sitting one table away from me. I’m going to die….today.

UPDATE 2:
Oh dear….she’s done with lunch and “freshening up” for the rest of the day….

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

Oh my gosh……more perfume???

WT&*(*&^%#?????????????

I’m looking around at the other laptopites in here and we are all just tearing up and trying hard to not laugh out loud.

UPDATE 3:
She’s leaving by walking right by my table. C’mon, lady. The pages on my Bible are now singed and I feel like I’ve been drive-by sprayed.

The Clean Air act should cover stuff like this.

I want a non-smoking/non-perfume section!!!!

UPDATE 4:
At the risk of sounding completely racist - an Indian has now just walked in and now I am blessed with the smell of Old Spice AND curry.

What the freakin’ heck is going on??????????

Tags: humor

13 responses so far ↓

  • 1 amy // Aug 23, 2006 at 4:37 pm

    now that is funny!!!!! :)

  • 2 Tisha (Henderson) Margraves // Aug 23, 2006 at 7:13 pm

    Hey Grant - Don’t know if you will remember me. I grew up with Amy in Plano at Legacy Drive Baptist. I have lost touch with her and weren’t sure where yall were living now. I did a google search on you and found your blog. Very funny!! I guess some things never change, your still crazy. Love it!! Please tell Amy hey and pass my email address along to her.

  • 3 rob // Aug 24, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    that’s what we call ‘high smellin’

  • 4 britton // Aug 24, 2006 at 1:16 pm

    A cigar smells better and is less annoying.

  • 5 britton // Aug 24, 2006 at 1:21 pm

    A few recommendations from an aficianado…
    El Rey Del Mundo (the king of the world)
    Rocky Patel (sun-grown wrapper) blow your head off.
    CAO -MX2 (pure tobacco bliss)
    Punch Rare Corojo (speechless)
    Contact The Pipe and Tobacco Shop in Little Rock (562-7473)
    Tell them I sent you. I’ll get free cigars.

  • 6 wayne // Aug 24, 2006 at 2:12 pm

    Britton!!! I didn’t know you were a cigar smoker…saweeet! I like the CAO-MX2 and the Punch…and when I can get ‘em the Romeo y Julieta Reserve Maduro

    I’ll be in Toronto next week…so may find a way to get some “real” cubans back.

    I’m kinda hooked on a pipe now though…I get to smoke that indoors!! Cigars are strictly a back deck deal from the Mrs.’ perspective.

  • 7 britton // Aug 24, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    Wayne….
    What is your favorite poison for the pipe? Right now I am smoking Orlick - it’s from Denmark.

  • 8 wayne // Aug 24, 2006 at 3:50 pm

    I’ve been stuck on the “Optima” blend from the Pipe and Tobacco Shot. Lately it’s been either that or the Wilshire.

  • 9 wayne // Aug 24, 2006 at 3:58 pm

    Oh wait…Grant said he wanted “non-smoking”

    Oh well, Grant can slurp my pipe spit.

  • 10 britton // Aug 24, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Grant can smoke one of those toy pipes that blows bubbles. The clean air act doesn’t apply here.

  • 11 H // Aug 24, 2006 at 4:33 pm

    I didn’t know this was a website for addicts.

  • 12 Grant // Aug 24, 2006 at 5:38 pm

    Obviously it is. What’s crazy is that I never said I was anti-pipe or cigar yet wayne tells me to slurp away…what the heck???

    can someone who blogs once a year really say that????

  • 13 wayne // Aug 24, 2006 at 9:25 pm

    I’m getting ready to start a series on why Grant is a putz and should slurp my pipe spit.

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