the    sides

You learn a lot when you move.

Like cell phones. We don’t have a land line. Haven’t had one in years. Alltel has wonderful coverage (at least in Arkansas) so no biggie.

Then we moved to Denver. And the house we are staying in - we can’t get a signal.

At my office - can’t get a signal.

Anywhere in Parker other than in downtown - can’t get a signal.

So I call Alltel. Nearest tower to Denver - Limon, Co. We are so far out of their towers it’s ridiculous. The nearest Alltel store - Pueblo, Colorado - a wonderful 2 hour drive to the south.

Grounds for getting out of your cell phone contract?

Nope. If a married couple got a divorce - they better figure out a way to make it work until their cell phone contract runs out.

Cost to get out of contract? $200 a phone. Like it costs them that much to remove us from the system.

So for your reading pleasure, I post my email exchange with Alltel customer support:

Customer (Grant English) - 09/30/2006 06:29 PM
I just moved from Little Rock, AR to Parker, CO. We only have mobile phones and had not planned on getting land lines.

That was until we realized that Alltel did not have any stores here in Parker, CO (suburb of Denver) for us to have our phones change. I called our local store in LR and they were of little help. We need a 303 or 720 area code number but they said they could not give us one. Any number Alltel could give us would be long distance for anyone around our new home to call.

I asked to be released from our contract and was told that it would cost me $200 a phone.

I would hate to leave Alltel long-term after all the years we have been with you…is there any other solution?

Here is the email back after a phone call basically covering the same information.

Response (Brenda B) - 10/04/2006 06:14 PM
Dear Valued ALLTEL Customer:

I will be happy to assist you. Unfortunately, Alltel does not own any towers in Parker, CO. We would not be able to supply any local numbers for your area, but we having roaming agreements with other carriers. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Thank you for choosing ALLTEL. We appreciate your business. Have a great day!

I respond:

After talking with technical assistance and was told that was grounds for getting out of contract, customer “service” said that in spite of the fact that we have no service, we still are under contract…for a ’service’ that we can not use. It’s a shame because we would have gladly gone back to alltel if you ended up becoming a carrier in the Denver metro area. After this, once our contract is up, we will never go back to Alltel.

I get this email in reply:

Response (Cristina H) - 10/05/2006 12:36 PM
Dear Valued Alltel Customer,

I thank you for your response. Again, we apologize for any inconvenience.

Please let me know if I can assist you with any other questions. Thank you for choosing ALLTEL, we appreciate your business.

To which I replied thusly:

Are you freakin’ kidding me? Did you even read what I wrote? Thank you for choosing you? I’m NOT choosing you, that’s the point of the email and tech support questions. I am paying for a service that I can’t use, talking to people who can’t/won’t help me. And eventually you will be in Denver and you could have/would have had us the first day you opened. But not now.

Legislatures that want to curb the divorce rate ought to employ cell phone companies as divorce judges.