the    sides

I’ve got a few friends who are in the middle of ministry hell right now. If you ask them in unguarded moments, they will tell you that if they could do any other job right now they would. The past 6 months, I’ve talked with about 8 different pastors that are telling the same story.

Here’s what’s odd about the stories though…the common thread among them is they are more frustrated and hurt by the context of their ministry than the actual work of the ministry. Most of these guys know that ministry is long, inconvenient, low pay, and slow results. That’s not what’s killing them…it’s stuff like staff/Board betrayal, lack of support, and lack of relational connection are all the common themes.

For some reason, the question comes back to - how do you fix that? Sometimes you can’t. Because ministry is so relational intensive, the wounds of betrayal and lack of support go deep. It’s more than just your supervisor is a dork and doesn’t understand you. It’s akin to having your spouse come in and say - “I find you inadequate.”

When that happens - the amount of work to pursue healing is so great, most people see it as insurmountable.

For those of us who are down the “food” chain on the leadership level, the less chance you’ve got to “fix” it systemically in the organization. I think there are some things we can do to minimize the wound and at least create some space for healing.

1. Know your role. Why are you there? There comes a time when you just need to shut up and do your job. If you’re not on the senior level of leadership, then your opinions on what the church ought to do - as right as they may be - don’t matter.

2. Do your role. And do it well. Bottom line, we serve God not people. So do your job that way. It’s hard at times - I know. Do it anyway. Had a guy who was upset that he didn’t have more direction from his Senior Pastor. Irony of ironies, he wanted to be a senior pastor or at least a senior level pastoral role. If you NEED direction from a senior pastor and that was what hindered you the last time, you have no business being in a senior level role.

3. Get a friend who loves you and is honest with you. I’d never survived my disappointment without my LR crew (you know who you are!!). They were quick to listen but just as quick to point out some of the junk was of my own making. Which leads me to…

4. As much as it depends on you, keep short accounts. This is good advice anytime but especially when you know that you are a “short-timer.” When it was clear that my time was limited at Grace, it made decision making a lot easier. Basically - my opinion doesn’t matter and the minute I start acting like it does, repent.

5. In relational manners, avoid the labels “right” and “wrong”. Some people it doesn’t matter what you do, they are going to love you. Others - it doesn’t matter what you do, they are going to hate you. It’s just a connection, fit thing. Very seldom does it have anything to do with “right” or “wrong.” Love them anyway.

Turn the cheek, shake the dust, God restores. I know He does.