sides
If you don’t know what a gelding is…there you are.
And that’s what the Broncos are.
I’m not sure what was worse last night - the game or the announcers or those hideously loud red unis the Texans were sporting. Actually that’s not quite true. I do know what was worse - any coach on the Denver sideline.
The Game
How many plays did the Texans run did I say - seen that one before? I quit counting after 30. The bootlegs, the fullback handoff inside the 1, the quick WR screen, the stretch run play. The Broncos are now the answer to the question what happens when you hire sesame street characters to coach your defense and special teams? I actually think Grover would be better. I’d vote for Snuffalufagus. Do they make headsets that big?
The Announcers
Cris Collinsworth…in a word…quit. Go back to the studio and get out of the booth. 75% of the country ought to be thankful they can’t watch NFL Network games. I thought having Gumble out of the booth would help. I was wrong. I was very wrong. Remember that one game FOX did with Jimmy Johnson and someone else just watching the game with mics on? It was weird but that would have been better.
Some gems of the night…”Watch our Cutler really steps into his throws and delivers that fast ball.” First, I can’t remember the last time Cutler stepped into a throw. He’s spent most of this season throwing off his back foot. Bad mechanics? Sure. Also trying to keep his head on because of the ole’ offensive line.
“Mario Williams is justifying his number 1 pick over Reggie Bush and Vince Young.” Somebody should tell them how bad the Broncos O-line is.
I also got completely tired of the “both teams are in the playoff hunt” angle. No they are not. Houston has the Colts and the Jags on their schedule. The Broncs have the Chargers and the Vikings. Neither team has a prayer of making the playoffs. Neither team will finish above .500. One team looks young and hungry, another looks old and tired. Both are severely outmatched when compared to the AFC elite teams.
The Red Unis
It took me three quarters before I finally garnished up half an opinion. It’s got more red than a Quentin Tarantino film. It almost looks like a Pro Bowl uni with a lot less stars. To be fair - I’m not a huge fan of the “all blue” look of the Broncs when they are home. I’m not sure what the solution is - white pants? blue pants? - but the all red was a bit much.
Where From Here
Shanahan is in a tough spot. He’s made two horrible hires - defense and special teams - and that has killed him this year. His offense woes are directly tied to the health of his offensive line - which is old. The lone bright spot was Shanny going for it so much on 4th down. None of them worked out but I love the mentality of “I’m sick of kicking field goals. I want touchdowns and we’re not in the playoff hunt, so let’s go for it.”
The Bolts are Christmas Eve…that’s going to be a massacre. Then the Vikings…where Adrian Peterson will set the single season rushing record for a rookie, the single game rushing record, and most yards in a season record all in one game. And it will happen at Mile High…so get your tickets now.
Tags: Denver Broncos, Houston Texans, NFL, NFL Network
10 responses so far ↓
1 Mike R. // Dec 14, 2007 at 12:24 pm
I missed the game last night but saw the score. I was really surprised when I looked at the stats though.
27/39 254yds 1tds 1int That’s pretty good and I would have thought it would be good enough to put the Texans away. The run defense killed you though.
Was Gumbel not calling the game? He has no business being in any booth anywhere.
If the NFL Network wants to get serious about getting cable companies to carry their channels, they need to get a better crew and hire some real camera men and producers. Its not just the booth that stinks.
2 Mike R. // Dec 14, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Make that 0 int, not 1 int.
3 daveb // Dec 14, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I wouldn’t bet on the Bolts versus Denver…I wouldn’t bet on Denver or Norv Turner. Can’t figure out either team…and it doesn’t matter anyway. If you’re not a Cols or patriots fan right now you’re just really waiting for next year.
4 ray // Dec 14, 2007 at 2:57 pm
This was a painful game to watch - and I didn’t even have the NFL channel (But channel 3 in Denver carried the whole pitiful performance saving me from thinking I had to have the NFL channel).
It was as if the Bronco defense was saying, “good ahead … run that play again so we can do the same thing … and let you run left while we block to our left … er, or is it our right, er… never mind.”
5 wayne // Dec 14, 2007 at 5:23 pm
here we go with uni talk again — I demand to see your man card, Grant!
by the way — give credit where credit is due!
6 kurt // Dec 16, 2007 at 5:10 pm
I’ve always been super aware of uniforms ever since I was a kid. Sometimes in little league we’d get stuck with some weird looking unis while other teams looked cool.
Favorite NFL unis: Rams, Seahawks, Chiefs
Worst: Pats, Panthers, Colts
7 wayne // Dec 16, 2007 at 6:49 pm
you uniform critics need to get a room!!!! Help me out here, Heath!
8 Heath // Dec 17, 2007 at 5:55 pm
May I please request that any man who has discussed or given more than a passing glance at any sport uniform or any other man’s outfit, please present your man card for inspection. It will at the least be stamped for a violation, and at worst be confiscated.
Discussions of what other men are wearing is clearly a violation of the man code. This cannot be tolerated.
9 Grant // Dec 17, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Heath,
it is perfectly acceptable to critique and evaluate sports uniforms. In fact, it is our duty as sportsfans to discuss such matters.
Of course, discussing clothing of any kind other than sports unis with another man is completely unacceptable unless talking about which Hard Rock Cafe shirts you wish you had.
10 Heath // Dec 18, 2007 at 8:06 am
Grant, I must disagree. Clothing, worn by any man, must never be seriously discussed. Teasing is an exception (i.e. “Hey Bob, 1982 called and wanted their shirt back”).
Out with the man card…. let’s have it.
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