the    sides

Today I had one letter that I was pretty sure was a tad bit overweight for just one stamp…but I wanted to make sure. I mean - heck, can’t be wasting an extra stamp. That’s a whole 41 cents.

So I go weigh it on one of the little kiosks with a scale and come to find out - all it need was one stamp. Yeah, me. I saved us 41 cents.

The line to talk to an actual person is 14 people deep. No way I’m waiting in line for one stamp.

Can’t find one of those cool vending machines that we used to dump change in for a stamp.

I did find one of the new U.S. Postal service ATMs for shipping stuff. (Which I think would be a cool acronym - ATMFSS.) So I start pressing buttons.

“Can I help you mail something today?”

Yes.

“What is the size of your package?”

I snickered…middle school humor is so hard to leave behind. I click on the “Letter” option.

“Place the letter on the scale.”

“Do you accept the weight?”

Yes.

“How fast do you want it to get there?”

Here’s where it starts getting a bit frustrating…Overnight is $14. 2 day is $7. First class mail is $0.41 - estimated arrival date is 2 days from now.

Click on $0.41 option.

“The lowest amount you can purchase something from this machine is $1.00 since this machine doesn’t give change.”

Alright, I get that…sort of. But no problem. It gives me the option of buying 3 $0.41 stamps…which now I thinking is $1.23 - how does that solve the change problem?

So I click on the 3 stamps option and it says - “Insert debit/credit card”

Wait a minute - if you’re going to let me use my debit card, why can’t I buy just one friggin’ stamp.

Of course, I’ve been quiet this whole time except for this last phrase I say out loud.

Apparently, fairly loud because the lady behind me starts snickering.

I turn around and say the magic phrase again - I just want to buy one friggin’ stamp.

“So go stand in line.”

I spent $1.23 on my debit card to send a $0.41 letter all because I didn’t want to spend 82 cents.

I’m an idiot.