sides
I’m on Facebook. Just like blogging - my brother-in-law led me down the dark side.
Facebook isn’t hard to learn but it does have it’s own set of protocols and vocabulary. Like the “wall.” “The Wall” is your webpage post-it note place. Think of it as that white dry-erase board you had on your college dorm room door. People leave you messages, insult you, whatever. It’s considered good form to comment back BUT not on your own wall. You go “wall to wall” with them or personal message.
If you write on your own wall, it’s considered bad form because you’re increasing your wall posts with your own comments. It doesn’t matter that no one else can follow the conversation. It’s bad form. Clay taught me this…of Patsy Cline fame. Apparently, the number of wall posts is one of the Tell-Tale signs of just how cool you are.
The other Tell-Tale sign is the number of friends you have.
Which leads me to both the awesome things about Facebook and the ridiculous things about Facebook.
AWESOME: I’ve been able to catch up with a couple of high school friends that I haven’t seen/heard in over twenty years. Crazy? Yes. (You should hear the comments when they find out I’m a pastor.)
RIDICULOUS: After a couple of emails and “Oh my gosh, you have kids!!!!” moments - it returns to normal. I wish it were different but it is what it is. Same thing with college buddies.
AWESOME: All of my former youth students that are on Facebook have me as their friend. That is meaningful. It really is. I can click over and check up on them when I want.
RIDICULOUS: I get invitations to events that happen on campus or some stupid application like Jetman (which I suck at) that does nothing but fill up my inbox. It’s not evil or harmful…just annoying.
There are some lingering questions I’m wrestling with concerning Facebook.
First, do people really sit around and click on other peoples profile to find out what they are doing that minute? And if people actually DO keep their profile up to date - what’s the point? I mean, do you really care that I’m reading Chuck Yeager’s biography right now?
Second, I’ve gotten friend requests from people I’ve never met. What’s up with that? It’s not like Len - whom I’ve never met face to face but we’ve had so many phone calls and email dialogs and blog comments, we’re practically related. (As a sidenote - Len, I did get your freakin’ text about the Newsboys. I didn’t respond because I’ve been so busy skiing. It really sucks to live here.)
But back on the subject - if I ignore or reject the friend request, who’s the bigger jerk? Me for rejecting them or them for saying we’re friends when we’ve never met? I think it’s them because if I’ve never met you, I’m not your friend. It’s not that we are ENEMIES but shouldn’t we at least meet or have some conversations with each other before we add each other to our friend list? What if we completely annoy each other? Wouldn’t it be MORE AWKWARD to remove someone from your friend list?
Lastly, I can’t seem to see the long term advantage of Facebook. With blogging - I get it. I write, we comment, we converse. This is cathartic for me, entertaining for you, and it’s a cheap, easy way to keep the family updated with what is going on in our world. With Facebook - ???? I don’t see it. It’s fun. It’s great at killing hours at a time. Not sure where it goes from here.
What are you thoughts on the mess?
Tag: Facebook
12 responses so far ↓
1 Christine Maupin // Mar 18, 2008 at 1:20 pm
So you enjoy checking up on all your past students? Maybe you could say “Hey” every once in a while!
You are not a jerk for denying someone’s friend request. I do it all the time. You probably don’t have this problem, but the people I don’t know asking to be my friend are guys with their shirts off trying to be sexy or missionaries over seas. I wonder if its possible to attract two more different crowds?
2 Garrett // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I agree with Christine I turn down friend requests sometimes (although i don’t have the same shirtless guy problem she seems to have). Usually when people that you don’t know send you a friend request they are just spamming everyone they can find with friend requests so that they can run up there number of friends.
3 clay // Mar 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm
you forgot about how i taught you about “creeping” on someone elses wall. that is pretty stalkerish. i was also told by my ex roomate that you can only have so many friends because facebook wouldnt allow him to add any more friends after a while.
4 Grant // Mar 18, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I am laughing pretty hard at the shirtless guy vs. missionary friend requests.
I did forget about the creeping thing. See, Clay - what would I do without you.
I did know that you can only have so many friends but the number is like 5,000.
Clay - you should start a Patsy Cline Fan group.
5 Heath // Mar 18, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Wasn’t Clay going to boycott the blog because of the Patsy Cline thing?
Either way, my experience with Facebook is much the same. Pretty much useless other than keeping up with a couple of people, which if they just searched my name from Google they would easily find my blog and it wouldn’t be a problem.
But regardless, I am there.
6 Len // Mar 18, 2008 at 9:04 pm
so good to know i’m not in that “creepy” catagory. Yeah, sent the text to about 10 friends who I thought would appreciate it.
7 Chris // Mar 19, 2008 at 5:37 am
I’m with you on 1) reconnecting with people I haven’t seen in 20 years, & 2) keeping ‘in the know’ about the lives of former students. For those two things alone I really like Facebook. Honestly, if someone is on Facebook, I’m more apt to message them there than try emailing. Especially former students & beyond - just don’t use email like us ‘older folks’ do.
As far as the pains that go along with it, two words of advice: 1) ignore anyone you want. If it is going to hurt their feelings because they think they’re closer to you than they are, so be it. 2) “Block this Application” - THE best thing that Facebook has to offer. After a week or so it virtually eliminates all those stupid application requests.
8 bp in ks // Mar 19, 2008 at 7:36 am
I wasn’t sure if I should post my comment here or write on your Facebook wall.
and for just having another avenue to connect with my current crop of students. It is a great way to check in with students, congratulate them on a team win, wish them happy birthday, etc.- things that might get passed by otherwise. I also have had students connect with me because they see we have the same taste in music, watch the same tv show, or like the same books. It has sometimes opened doors for conversations and building relationships.
I have to admit, I may be the first person over 40 to be addicted to Facebook (and yes I do click on people’s profiles and I always look to see who’s online at the time. I love it for being able to connect with former youth- and friends in the ministry
My personal pain with Facebook is that there is not just one “wall”- there’s the basic wall, the super wall, the advanced wall, the fun wall- I have students send me messages on all of them. I also despise applications that require you to invite friends to join it in order for you to add the application. Wow- that was a long post- gotta go- I need to check my facebook and see if anyone has written on my wall
9 MikeS // Mar 19, 2008 at 9:27 am
Facebook, like MySpace, can be annoying and beneficial. I can keep up with the friends I want to.
At the same time, can waste a lot of time there. I’m amazed at the actual conversations taking place on MySpace and Facebook. Just pick up the stinkin’ phone and call them!
I’m just not sure how “connected” a person needs to be.
10 jill // Mar 19, 2008 at 2:34 pm
This is where I weigh in.
I am 28. I love facebook. I used facebook to get in touch with two musician friends to do gigs with. Granted, said musicians are under 25.
I like facebook better than myspace mostly because myspace has crappy spam and gross ads. Those are kept to a minimum with Facebook. Also…I never get random friend requests thankfully. I also have blocked all excess application emails. The only emails I get are the standard message/wall post/photo comment/etc. Somehow I’ve blocked all other applications from sending me an email! That has SAVED my inbox.
Anyhow - glad you’re on facebook. Oh, and thankful for your blog too. I’m often challenged by your thoughts…or I just laugh at the hilarity of your life.
Hi to the kids…don’t know if they remember the tall girl who played with them…
11 Kitty // Mar 19, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I’ll join the Patsy Cline fanclub Facebook, Clay!!
I agree with everything you said for the most part. It seems to be an easy way to WASTE tons of time - as if I don’t already have a million ways to waste time. I don’t get Facebook, and I hate for people I don’t know to ask me to be their friend. I hate to say no because I don’t want to hurt these random strangers’ feelings. The gift of mercy is not helpful when dealing with Facebook!
12 Tom (the brother-in-law) // Mar 24, 2008 at 5:43 am
Being the culprit who led you to the “dark side”, I felt like I should respond. I was very new to facebook when I roped you in, but I’ve found it great to stay “connected” to people around the world. It isn’t as good as seeing them face to face, but in seeing their pictures, reading their status, etc . . . I have more of a connection to these people that I did before and it makes it easier when we are back together. I’ve been surprised at how useful it has been to me.
I also see the possibility to waste away the time, but if I limit myself to just 5 minutes a day, it has paid benefits for me.
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