sides
So this morning I had a 6.30 meeting at Panera. I’m thinking it will be the last. Here’s why.
1. It’s freezing. Not outside…in here. We are in Parker, Freaking, Colorado. It’s 42 degress this morning - perfect weather for a hot tea or mocha. I walk into Panera and the air is on. It’s blowing cold air. It’s warmer outside on the deck than in this place. I ask the manager - “any chance of getting the air turned off.”
“The air is not on, sir.”
“Oh.”
Both standing there.
“So…what’s with the cold air blowing?”
“Our heater is broke.”
“Oh.”
Still both standing there.
“So…any chance of getting the broken heat turned off?”
“It’s on an automatic timer.”
Is there any response to this that isn’t rude? Can he not figure out how to work it manually? Do I look that stupid to just shake my head in agreement and say “Oh!!! okay!” like that was missing link to the conversation that I needed?
I think about explaining the basics of thermostat control to him. If the heater is broken and it’s set to warm your establishment up to 69 degrees and the thermostat (that funny box on the wall) isn’t broken - it will never reach 69 degrees. The thermostat will keep telling the heater to turn on so it will keep blowing non-hot air into your establishment making it colder, not hotter and thus the cycle continues.
I’m way too tired and it’s way to early to have this conversation. So I just order my bagel and hot tea. Why hot tea and not a mocha?
2. Their coffee is terrrrrble. (Said like Charles Barkley.) I got nothing else to add to this.
3. Wedding Music. I forgot my headphones so I am no forced to listen to the Wedding March and other instrumental music played mainly at weddings. Every now and then I feel like standing up and yelling “Ladies and Gentleman, Here comes the bride!” just to see if anyone would stand up. Would more or less people stand if said “The Class of 2008?”
4. Customer Base Changes at 8.43. Since about 7 am, another guy with a Mac has sat across from me. We look important. There’s a whole restaurant to work with here but for some odd reason, moms with babies, grandparents with toddlers love pulling up their high chairs and spill mats right next to the people with laptops. I’m not opposed to young moms/grandparents/babies eating. I think it’s important. Just do it in the back of the restaurant away from the 4 or 5 guys up front with laptops.
UPDATE: Guy with a Mac across from has 2 distinct advantages over me right now. First, he has headphones. Second, he is drinking a Starbucks. So he got a Starbucks, ordered a bagel, cranked up his laptop to work. Nice form, veteran move. I could learn a lot from this guy.
5. Charging for the Cream Cheese. What the heck? First, you charge me for the cream cheese then you give me a bucket load of it. How about you give it to me for free in about the same size as the butter packets?
6. Co-workers Personal Life. I’m really sorry she said that you and is now cheating on her boyfriend. It’s a terrrrble thing, it really is. I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but….I don’t care. I mainly don’t care because I want to order instead of listening to the drama. I mainly don’t care because you two are talking as if I don’t exist and I know I do because you keep glancing over at me. I mainly don’t care because it’s gossip and I’m sure if we were ‘friends’ I’d be the subject of your next diatribe.
So take note to all who wants to open a coffee shop in Parker - I’m a free agent.
Tags: coffee shop, Panera Bread
10 responses so far ↓
1 AK // Mar 27, 2008 at 8:17 am
Free Agent, or just having a bad day? 8^)
2 kurt // Mar 27, 2008 at 9:04 am
A while ago my wife and I went to catch a movie at the Redstone Theaters in Park City. Temp outside: a crisp 38. And what’s blowing in the theater where our movie is showing? The AC. So I go out to the counter to see if we can get it turned off. The answer: the heating and cooling is controlled by a computer out of state! The employees have no control. So I wonder out loud, “So is this okay that I’m paying big bucks to watch a movie and freeze?” Answer: Uh, I guess.
I haven’t been to the Redstone since. by the way the movie was The Illusionist…which we got on DVD, so I could watch it at home without shivering.
3 daveb // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:01 am
You might try a little local shop near my house called “House That Brews”…in the Stroh Ranch King Soopers Center. Good coffee and I’m pretty sure they have free wifi too.
Won’t get as good of a bagel…but you might (never tried their food). Kinda wish i had been there to witness this little “melt-down”. lol
4 Rob Williams // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:22 am
Grant, it’s been a while since I’ve commented but wanted to say this was a great post!
5 Paul // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:35 am
Come to Birmingham. You can have a completely different set of reasons to find another place to be.
1. At 7:12 AM, the entire back of the restaurant gets taken over by 43 freshmen girls doing a “Bible study” (also known as “gossip session bookended with prayer).
2. The coffee sucks, no wait you got that one.
3. The internet takes 2.3 hours to connect and is then slow as molasses.
6 Grant // Mar 27, 2008 at 10:51 am
Paul, I missed that one. The internet is wireless dial-up. Couldn’t even load the front page of CBS March Madness page.
Rob - thank you. You still one of the coolest blog names on the planet.
DB - love the house that brews. Great place but it’s small AND the bus drivers crash it starting at 8.30. Good coffee though.
7 Pam // Mar 27, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Okay, I’ll admit that I am a huge fan of Panera and so I have an obvious bias. I am also very sad that we don’t have one in our neck of the woods.
Cold restaurant, talkative servers, cream cheese–I get those peeves. However, about the coffee…it IS called Panera BREAD, not Starbucks Coffee. It’s a do one thing and do it well kinda thing. And guys on laptops in restaurants? As a mom with kids I typically (1)Don’t even notice guys with laptops, and (2) If I did, my peeve would be the opposite..”Go to your office if you are trying to work. This is a restaurant after all.” (Light-hearted snarkiness implied…all in good fun!)
8 daveb // Mar 28, 2008 at 8:17 am
If McD can manage good coffee I would hope Panera could…it’s not exactly rocket science. =0)
9 Grant // Mar 28, 2008 at 8:38 am
It doesn’t have to be awesome coffee…it just needs to at the very least surpass McD’s and it McDoesn’t.
Besides that, these coffee shops exist for us not moms with kids!!!! ha ha hah
10 Heath // Mar 28, 2008 at 10:39 am
sadly, customer service and quality being equal or greater than what you pay is long gone.
Wireless dial-up? Really?
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