the    sides

In the ongoing saga to clear up the classification of cars, we come to the issue of cowballs.

As noted earlier, these are commonly found on the rear hitch of a monster truck - almost always an American made truck. I’ve actually seen a set on a mini-van. It was amusing and depressing.

Camber: “Daddy…what are those?”

She’s pointing to the truck in front of us which just so happens to live on the same street as we do. Lucky us. We get to see it every single day. The children of that household also go to the same school as our kids, ride the same bus and are in the same grade as our kids. Add these facts to the reality that Camber repeats every single thing she hears and you can see the volatile, sensitive situation we have here.

G: “What are what, baby?” (It always helps to delay the inevitable. Buys you some think time.)

C: “Those things hanging from the back of that truck.”

G: “Those are testicles.” (I’ve answered the question. I’ve used the correct terminology. She still doesn’t know what they are. The ultimate parent answer.)

Long pause. I’ve only got to get to the driveway then I can hand her off to Amy. Another great skill to learn in parenting.

C: “What are testicles?”

G: “What, honey? Let me turn down the radio so I can hear.” (See above.)

C; “What are testicles?”

G: “Frozen tests….that hang from a truck….like icicles are frozen ice hanging from a roof.”

Okay, I really didn’t say that. So I told her what they were - a bull’s private parts.

She pretty much grossed out. “Are they real?????? Why do they put those on trucks?”

I told her as far as I knew - they weren’t real but we shouldn’t take any chances. So don’t touch them. Ever.

As to why certain people put them on their cars, another great question that will probably never be answered. There is a whole world of questions like this - particularly when it comes the car industry. Questions that just can’t be answered intelligently or with any sense of confidence.

Why is rust or primer a legitimate car color in Arkansas?
Who originally put a kid’s cartoon character with guns on mudflaps?
How does silhouette pornography help keep mud off of trucks anyway?
Tennis balls on CB antennas?

The easiest explanation to many of these is that somebody at some point in history lied to another individual and told them that it looked cool or was a good idea. Apparently the first friend didn’t want to hurt the other friend’s feeling or intelligence. This of course stands as even more reason why we shouldn’t lie to people. It’s probably the reason bell bottoms are trying to make a comeback today and why spandex is still considered by some a legitimate fabric to have clothing made of.

These are just some of the reasons we shouldn’t lie to people.