the    sides

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. Dr. West. Pretty cool name, pretty cool doctor. I’ve been coughing like crazy and for the first time in forever, I had a doctor shoot straight with me.

“I’m going to make you take a chest x-ray just to make us all feel better but I have a feeling it’s going to come back normal.”

He asked me about a jillion questions - when, how often, when do I notice it most - stuff I’d never even thought of. Then he shot straight with me again.

“This could be a lot of things but let’s start simple first - like you have allergies but if I’m guessing right you’re not taking your medicine as often as you should…like everyday, are you?”

Busted.

So I get the speech on how allergies work, keep the drugs in my system for two weeks and see if that helps. If not, we escalate to plan B. Then to Plan C. Then we start amputating lungs.

Okay he didn’t say that but it was a refreshing conversation to have with a doctor. I had a doctor in Emporia, Kansas like this. Dr. Todd Detwiler. We go fishing a lot together. It’s weird fishing with your doc, especially if he’s lanced a boil on your butt.

But I digress…got the chest xray and then I had to call the wife to give the obligatory report.

“I’m going to die, hon.”

Long pause.

“Well, probably not today or anytime soon but it happens to us all.”

“No, that’s not at all what the doctor said but I thought you should know.”

As I’m talking I head out to the parking lot to run the rest of my errands this morning. I can’t find my car. It’s gone. Some one not only stole my awesome yellow Nissan Xterra but some jerkweed has parked a silver Sequoia in my parking place!!!!

Wait a minute.

I didn’t drive the Xterra today. Amy did. I’m in the silver Sequoia. Idiot.

Fortunately, all of this happened inside my head and I never said any of it out loud. Mainly because Amy was telling me how we needed to go to Costco today since it’s the grand opening.

And go we did.

We are now members of Costco. Since it was the grand opening here - there were about 50 of those free food stands. Lunch was AWESOME and FREE. I had a beer brat, prime rib, pork loin, bacon, granola, protein bar, crackers, ice cream, bison roast, and some kind of cheese spread. I was stuffed after walking up and down all those aisles.

We’re home now enjoying our 600 ounces of Goldfish.