the    sides

This weekend will kick off the 2008 College Football season and once again my beloved Tide will take the field to attempt recapturing the glory of a storied football tradition. Last year they started like gangbusters then folded up like a cheap tent.

The LSU game last year ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it twice.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

8/30 at Clemson
So much for a cupcake opener. Clemson has quietly but surely built an SEC style team in the ACC. It’s fast. It can punch you in the mouth. They score points in bunches - defense, special teams, broken plays. And they are at home.

I hate this game. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It’s not that I think Clemson is that much better than Alabama. It’s that it’s the season opener (’Bama has traditionally played like junk the first game of the year) and it’s in the other Death Valley - a gruesome place to play.

I’m praying for an upset. It’s a winnable game if the youngsters can keep their cool but the edge has to go to Clemson.
(0-1)

9/6 vs. Tulane
Don’t set the DVR for this one. After the Clemson game, look for the Tide to blow this one open.
(1-1)

9/13 vs. Western Kentucky
Another sleeper game - right before the Arkansas game. Tide will win, won’t show much in the game.
(2-1)

9/20 at Arkansas
Close game - they always are - but ‘Bama wins this one. Hogs don’t have the McFadden/Jones connection this year and don’t even ask me why those two weren’t on the field in the final minutes against ‘Bama. The only thing that stopped McFadden on that day was Houston Nutt.
(3-1)

9/27 at Georgia
Call the medics…this one will be ugly. As ugly as UGA. Traditionally these two teams play close. Let’s hope the Tide learned from last year’s game but Georgia is focused on a National Championship this year. They won’t overlook Alabama.
(3-2)

10/4 vs. Kentucky
Kentucky has improved their football program considerably these past few years. It still sucks. Alabama will completely destroy this team.
(4-2)

10/18 vs. Mississippi
Ole Miss will now get to experience what Fayetteville had for many years. A pleasant, fun, motivating coach in Houston Nutt who forgets how to coach in the 4th quarter. Now he’s got a team with even less talent than he had when he started at Arkansas.
(5-2)

10/25 at Tennessee
There are not enough words to communicate the hate for this team. (Most of them had already been used for Auburn…but I digress.) I will never pick Tennessee over Alabama. Ever.
(6-2)

11/1 vs. Arkansas State
We interrupt meaningful football to bring you this game. They do have cool looking uniforms though. Someone needs to remind the team to be sure and eat at Dreamland BBQ while they are here.
(7-2)

11/8 at LSU
How we feel about Tennessee is how LSU feels about us. The Circle of Hate in the SEC. We hate Tennessee, they hate LSU, who hates Auburn, who hates us. Everyone hates Florida.

Back to the game at hand. If LSU rolls into this game undefeated, it will be a blow-out of mythical proportions. That would mean they would have beaten Auburn, Florida, and Georgia - two of them on the road. (Then they’ll go and lose to Arkansas…)

I don’t think that happens. I don’t think Alabama wins either. Death Valley might just be the toughest place to win in the nation.
(7-3)

11/15 vs. Mississippi State
Not going to happen twice in the same century.
(8-3)

11/29 vs. Auburn
The season. Right here. Auburn has owned us 6 years in a row. If they put up 7…I’m going to have to move to Canada, change my name, and put Cooper up for adoption.

Here are the cold facts: Auburn is deeper. Auburn is faster. Auburn will have title hopes on the line. All of that to say that Auburn sucks anyway and Alabama is going to beat the holy hockey sticks out of them. Forever and ever, in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Time for an Auburn joke:

Q. What is the difference between an Auburn Fan and a puppy?
A. Puppies eventually stop whining.

Rammer, Jammer, Yellow Hammer - you know the rest….
(9-3)

Overall, a respectable season, should get a good Bowl game, one more great recruiting class then push for an SEC championship in 2009.