People keep talking about how our prayers aren’t answered because we don’t pray correctly. I get exasperated at that notion. Are there set rules for how you approach a deity? I understand that “oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz” is probably not what prayer is all about. AND I know James speaks about not being double minded when we pray. But I find it hard to believe that when I pray about something that appears to go unanswered (or not answered in the way I would like it to be) that this is due to my not speaking the right words in the right way. I think that unanswered prayer has more to due with the differences in our perspective as opposed to God’s perspective.

My first thought is this – all prayer is answered. All. It’s either a yes, no, or wait. Having said that, it doesn’t make the silence of God any easier to understand. I remember as a kid asking for something and the worse possible answer you could get was “wait” or “not now.” The. Absolute. Worst. Answer. Ever.

Wait is ambiguity at its best. Wait tests to the core the true character of who I am…and the failure rate is at times alarming. Wait is that sick feeling at the top of the roller coaster in between the climb and when the bottom falls out from underneath you. Looking back — it’s a split second. In that moment — it’s an eternity. Wait. Not now.

What would happen in that split second at the top of the coaster if I decided I was tired of waiting and did something about it? Like — get out of the coaster. Unhooked the safety harness? Unpacked a sandwiched and a drink to stay for a while? It’s ridiculous to think like that, isn’t it? The impatience would get you killed. The complacency would get you messy. The only response that makes sense in that moment is readiness…just be ready. Do what you know to do — which on a coaster is raise up your hands and scream like a little girl.

Real life is that coaster – our life is but a vapor – about the length of a coaster ride. And I’m not trying to diminish the moment between the climb and drop. There is real hurt, frustration, confusion, and anguish in those moments. But that just further amplifies what God says to us — BE STILL and KNOW. Don’t get ahead, don’t lag behind. Be ready. Wait. Be still. It’s not a ‘unpack the lunch, pitch the tent’ kind of wait. It’s not a run ahead of God kind of wait. It’s a wait kind of wait. Active, ready, stillness wait.

Stillness is different than complacency. But that might just be another post.

There is no such thing as 12 year-old loser. They are a blank slate, an opportunity, a white board. They are full of promise and potential but not a loser. They are curious, whimsical, at times aloof, always honest, and teachable.

There have been a couple of public announcements that have teased our 7th graders about being 7th graders and it’s rubbing me the wrong way. And I’m not a saint – I’m guilty of teasing to much, taking jokes to far, not being sensitive to the moment. So much of this rant is as directed to me as anyone else but I can’t escape the importance of mentors for this age group.

Am I more aware of because my son is a 7th grader? Or because I’m finally growing up and maturing? Or because after all these years of student ministry I finally understand how important it is to start early and start deep? Or it’s more evident than ever that our younger kids get so few encouraging words?

Not sure why. Could be the lack of sleep. I’m one of the few (only?) lead pastors here at camp this week. I’m hearing from more and more youth pastors how they wish their lead pastors were more involved…and I understand both sides of the fence. There are things about being a lead pastor I never saw and understood as a youth pastor. There are pressures and pulls that I never had as a youth pastor.

But…when it all gets said and done this one truth still demands a response – being in the 7th grade is incredibly difficult and it’s one of those rare windows we get as an adult to make a difference.

Because there is no such thing as a 12-year old loser.

My first attempt in trying to ‘institute’ this idea of people-development was with a team of youth volunteers. We were all eager and excited but we quickly realized we had one major problem. None of us really knew where to start. Part of the problem (and maybe I should have listed this as another obstacle) was that so few of us were really developed (discipled) in the first place. And those of us who were had two opposite extreme experiences.

The Navigators/Crusade/Para-church Method
There is a point A and a point B. There is a mentor and a mentee. There is a definite path to take and way to do it. And we will ONLY do it that way. Learn this tract, this subject, this method. When we get the checklist done, you are ‘discipled’ and ready to lead.

There is a lot to like in this method. It covers the basics. It’s easy to understand. It’s focused. It’s structured. Some would argue TOO STRUCTURED.

However, there are some limitations to it. It’s often times more focused on getting a person enough KNOWLEDGE to perform a certain task than it is developing them as a person. The goal is to either get that person to lead a small group Bible study or share their faith. Both tasks are awesome things but it’s not necessarily developing the person. It still functions like “we train to run the program” instead of developing the person. When this kind of method runs into someone who doesn’t fit, the job is no longer trying to develop that person but to find someone else who does fit.

I’m not saying it’s incorrect. It’s just incomplete. And while this method rubs us visionary/abstract random people the wrong way, let’s face it — for years (decades?) it was still better than anything the local church or denominations were putting out. Which could probably be best summarized by this…

The Osmosis/If You Throw Enough Stuff On The Wall It Will Stick Method
Get a little Old Testament, a lot of Gospel, a little Revelation, a dash of the Letters. We’ll sprinkle in some current events and hot button issues that really aren’t hot button issues for those outside the church walls (worship style, dress codes, women in ministry, denomination politics). We’ll meet once a week and ask questions like “have you just lied to me” which puts us in this “Spiritual Police” mentality. Just hang around people who look like they know what they are doing and eventually you will catch “it.”

There is a lot that goes wrong with this method. Those people who look like they have it together really don’t. Ends up they are more focused on keeping the mask on. If people found out how messed up they (I) were, they’d be kicked off the team, out of the church. Besides that piety is easier than messy spirituality.

BUT – the one true nugget of this method that shouldn’t be missed is that true people development is going to mean hanging around people and getting involved in their TRUE story BEFORE we figure out the destination.

Every time I get a chance to sit down with another ministry leader, I’ll ask this question:

“When you start to develop and invest in person, what are the markers you want to hit? How do you know that your discipleship/people development process is working?”

And that’s the question I’ll tackle next. Unless something else comes up.

I responded –

Tink stands for everything evil in women – to tiny, dresses skanky yet ‘pure’, drama queen, in love with boy who cares less – @thegsides (via Twitter)

As a sidebar, RC2k is “Ray” and he has a cool blog. Not as cool as mine. Okay, it’s better than mine but don’t tell him I said that.

The point is Tinkerbell really does stand for everything we don’t want our daughters to grow up to be like.

She flies around half-dressed. Yet, she’s “innocent.” What kind of double-message is that? Is it really logical to dress like that and then be shocked when you’re treated like an object?

She sticks her nose in everyone’s business.

She’s gullible. She believes Captain Hook over Peter Pan? Nice discernment.

Her taste in men is questionable. Peter Pan never grows up. I don’t want my daughter following around any boy that doesn’t grow up. I don’t mean he has to be serious all the time but maturity is essential. Besides that, Pan could care less about Tink once Wendy shows up. Do you really want to be with someone who is only looking for the next best thing?

She’s easily made jealous. Which means she probably has some self-esteem issues but besides that – I want my daughters to be secure enough in who they are so that no one can make them feel inferior.

She’s a drama-queen. The whole bell ringing every time she is upset about something? Does any one really like this kind of life?

Her existence is dependent on the approval of others.

No. I am not a Tinkerbell fan. Let the comments begin!

Anyone who has ever played basketball knows the starting 5 will only get you so far. The long term success of a season and a program depends on those beyond the starting five. Attrition happens. “That is the sound of inevitability, Mr. Anderson.” (Yes — I had to get a Matrix quote in somewhere.) There will be injuries, ineligibility, sickness, lack of performance, and who knows what else that will knock people out of the starting positions.

Every coach knows this. What separates the great ones from the not-so-great ones is how they prepare for this reality. The great ones develop and invest in more than just those starters. They are relentless in the development of every one of their players. Systems, offenses, defenses, training programs may change from year to year but what doesn’t change is their non-compromising focus on developing players. They know that a culture like that takes years to develop. They also know that if they didn’t develop other players, their program could fade into mediocrity or worse – oblivion – in just one season.

Think about it…the teams that are historically good -Duke, Kansas, North Carolina – have coaches that have established a system that is totally focused on developing players. The wins come as a result of developing players. They are intentional about it. They eat, drink, and sleep player development.

It’s easy to see this same principle play out in the local church. Churches that ‘get it’ and are making a long-term impact on their community are churches that are relentless on developing people. They turn their whole organization upside down to help develop people. The programs are just tools, the focus is on developing people.

Every single aspect of a church’s vision depends on developing people. Every single goal and idea is dependent upon this concept.

Think I’m wrong? Think that’s an overstatement? Have you read the Great Commission lately? This concept should not be a huge shock to most of us. The collision of the Great Commission and the Great Commandment is exactly what I’m talking about – making disciples because we love them. Developing people because we love them. Because God loves them. I mean, seriously, this should NOT be this much of a stretch to understand.

Yet, it obviously is. How many churches wishes they had more leaders? More spiritually deep people? How many churches are running their programs with a great starting 5 but no bench whatsoever?

I’m in the same boat, so don’t read this like I’m the expert. Far from it. So for the next 30 days, I’m going to try to flesh out this idea, try to find some handles on this concept and maybe in the process figure out what are some practical steps that we can take to create a culture where we focus on developing people more than anything else.

This isn’t just a mental exercise for me either. I’m a pastor of a church that is in this boat. We have some of the most incredible volunteer leaders on the planet. The problem is there is no one really beyond the starters.

And it’s true that means we are in deep weeds if anything should happen to them. Or they get tired. Or God calls them to do something else. But that’s not really a good reason to develop people. That’s a self-focused kind of reason that ultimately fails. It ends up being guilt.

It’s important to start thinking about this and start doing something about it because to NOT to is to reject the Great Commission. To not start developing people is an utter failure in making disciples. And making disciples is different than running a great program.

It’s possible to run a great program and never make a disciple. It’s real easy to confuse the two…and I think that is where I’ll start tomorrow.

The Ongoing Safari of Beyond The Starting 5
Running the Program or Developing People
I Can See Clearly Now…
Obstacles and Developing People In The Church
The Starting Blocks of Beyond The Starting 5
I’m Looking For A Raft
RAFT, Part 2