uniform czar
Category Archives: uniform czar
Broncos, NFL Playoffs, College Bowl Games…
and one more month until the Sports Abyss hits.
In the meantime, the Broncos hired John Elway as VP of Football operations. I never even got an interview. I didn’t have a chance with Elway in the running. I guess I’ll keep my day job.
Some quick Bronco thoughts that aren’t in any particular order…
By playing Tebow these last three games, the Broncos get an upset Kyle Orton, a fired up offense, a rushing threat for the first time all season, a handful of throws that make you scratch your head and a handful of plays that make you cheer. And the second pick in the draft. Not a bad trade off.
I don’t think Denver really has that hard of a decision in front of them concerning the draft. Carolina will draft Andrew Luck (especially after last night’s performance). Given the fact that there will be a new rookie salary cap (if we have a season), this is Carolina’s smartest move. That takes the only real debate of the Broncos off the table.
If for some reason Carolina doesn’t pick Luck, (they forget to show up for the draft? they hire McDaniels as head coach and he wants to trade with the Broncos for Tim Tebow?) then MAYBE the Broncos draft him. They could then either try to trade Orton/Tebow/Quinn for more 2nd rounders OR they trade Luck for multiple 1st rounders. If Harbaugh becomes the next Bronco coach, things could get interesting.
I hope McDaniels gets hired by one of these NFL teams looking for a head coach so the Broncos can be on the good end of some his trades.
I think Denver can be good again relatively quick. Doom was hurt all year and the defense hasn’t gotten any draft attention since the Reagan Administration. So a good DC with a good defensive draft in the weak AFC West could put Denver in the playoff hunt again fairly quick. Then again, another hire like McNutjob and we’re the new Oakland.
I think KC is REALLY hating that loss to Oakland now. Win – face the Jets. Lose – face the Ravens. That’s called pouring salt in the wound. Losing Weiss as well — that’s called twisting the knife AND pouring salt in the wound at the same time. At least enjoy the pregame and tailgating, KC fans.
NFL Playoff Predictions
Let’s be clear. I’ve never really had a great year at picking games since 1998. So take these at face value.
AFC
Ravens @ Chiefs – I’ll be taking the Ravens, thank you very much.
Jets @ Colts – yeah…that’s not even fair. Colts.
Ravens @ Steelers – this will be an AWESOME game. Go Ravens. But could go either way.
Colts @ Patriots – this one will be even AWESOMER. Must pick Colts because I can’t stand Patsies.
Ravens @ Colts – Colts, that’s right. I’m picking the Colts to go to the Super Bowl.
NFC
Saints @ Seahawks – this is just a travesty. How many of us would have loved to seen the Giants or Bucs here? Okay, me either. Saints win.
Packers @ Eagles – this is going to be a great game. I hesitantly pick the Pack.
Saints @ Bears – another incredible game. And I think either team can win but sticking with the Saints.
Packers @ Falcons – going with the ATL here.
Saints @ Falcons – I don’t think the Saints can beat Atlanta twice in Atlanta.
Super Bowl
Falcons vs. Colts – either team winning would be a great story. Leaning toward Falcons if both teams are healthy.
I would NOT go to Vegas with these predictions.
Some SEC & Big 10 thoughts…
I think Alabama is that good – destroying Michigan State – AND the Big 10 is that overrated. I think the rest of the bowl results have proven that. I think Arkansas will whip OSU. And as much as it pains me to say – I think the Crystal Ball stays in the state of Alabama this year. To the “Team-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named.”
I do have some other suggestions for the Big 10 Division names. They are currently using Legends and Leaders as their titles — which is completely lame. It’s really hard to imagine that many supposedly smart people were in the room and not one of them locked the door and said – “There is no way we are leaving with those as our names.” Although it could very well be another example of the power of stupid people in large groups.
But I digress. Apparently they are against using normal distinctions like North, South, East, West – try some of these on for size.
Been Beaten By SEC & Will Be Beaten By SEC
Chokers & Cheaters – (hard to say which one Ohio State fits in best.)
Wants To Go To A Bowl & Wants To Stay Home From A Bowl
Traditional Uniforms & Ugly Uniforms
The Bad & The Ugly
The Jocks & The Nerds
In Bowl Games, I’ve been surprisingly successful…
So I’ll take Arkansas big over OSU. And LSU over Aggies. Auburn over Oregon.
Roll Tide, ya’ll.
Weather Is Here…
Wish you were beautiful.
I’m on vacation — hence the lack of twitter and posts. And where we are staying doesn’t get great cell reception. Which means when we run out to grab a bite to eat – I get a thousand text messages all at the same time.
So I’ll respond to them all right now.
Alabama vs. Auburn texts:
Yes, we’ll keep the road in front of the church named Auburn Road one more.
Roll Over Tide is appropriate for the second half collapse.
No, I was not rubbing it in on Cooper during the first half because of last year’s game.
Cooper handled himself with class and dignity after the win.
Oregon looks sick. And I only like half of their 27 uniforms.
Being on TV during the Aggie basketball game.
I’m twice as scary looking in real life.
I love college basketball and any chance I get to see D-1 teams play, I take it.
Wide World of Sports is a cool place but it’s smaller than you think.
Cooper won 2 tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters during a TV timeout. He hit the rim on 2 half-court shots. They gave him an extra shot because he got so close in his other attempts. The adult that he was shooting against shot 3 straight airballs. He (the adult) was pretty cocky before the contest. Cooper didn’t say a word to him. He didn’t say a word afterword. It was hilarious.
Love the weather — sort of. It’s 80 degrees and I didn’t bring a cool pair of shorts. It’s odd seeing Christmas lights and Christmas trees and sweating. But I’ll take it. I hear Kansas is freezing.
I’m actually going to miss Sunday as Brandon is teaching and I always learn something when that guy teaches. I’ll wait until it’s uploaded on our website.
All for now.
Bama, Broncos, and BCS – November 15th
Alabama
Mississippi State has had a great year in terms of football, a horrific year in terms of personal loss. Having to bury a teammate during your bye week isn’t on any list and they don’t teach coaches or players how to deal with it either. So kudos to MSU for coming out to the field and showing up.
That’s about all they did as Alabama just cruised to a very lopsided win. And for those who think football is football, see if you can track down a YouTube clip of Nick Saban chewing out the backup QB in the 4th quarter. Nick goes insane on him because of a stupid play of just throwing the football up in the air in the red zone. Later in the game, when AJ made a poor throw, Nick was a cool as a cucumber. Difference? Saban can handle hustle mistakes and poor execution BETTER than poor decision making.
My take on CamGate
I hope the guy is innocent. I hope it’s just sour grapes from MSU or Florida or whoever. I really do. And I don’t think a kid should be repunished for sins of the past.
But I think we’ve seen enough to know that the odds are against him. Should Auburn sit him? What would be the point? The damage is done if he’s guilty. And for those claiming he should for the integrity of game – wake up. The integrity of the game has been gone for a long, long, long time. When billions of dollars a year are earned by an elite few on the backs of college athletes who have so many rules on them, when the bowl system is favored over a playoff because of the money – the integrity of the game is shot already.
BCS
Hard to argue with polls again this week with Oregon, Auburn, Boise State, TCU. TCU is going to fall out of the race. Utah getting beat by a bad ND team kills their strength of schedule. What will be interesting to watch is this – if Auburn drops a game and Oregon drops a game, does that open up the door for LSU to get into the game without winning its league championship? Talk about a firestorm.
Broncos
John Elway talked to the team this past week. First time since 1997. He needs to talk every week. Denver destroyed KC. KC fans have to be hitting the panic button after the last two games. KC looks…like Denver. Horrific, mistakes, poor coaching – basically the opposite of what they were the first 5 games of the season.
After the game, Todd Haley made a complete jerk of himself by not shaking the hand of McDaniels (hey, I don’t like him either but I’d shake his hand) then pointing his finger at him giving him a lecture. What??? Neither side is talking about the exchange at midfield but it’s bizarre seeing how KC came into Denver last year and threw a beat down on the Broncos and he was perfectly willing to shake hands then. Just doesn’t make sense at all. We are all supposed to be big boys so when you get your rear end handed to you, sit up and take it like a man. Give a beating, take a beating. Be interesting to see how chippy the teams are in 3 weeks.
I could shoot off a bunch of interesting stats but I just don’t trust the Broncos at this point. It was a great win but how much of that was coaching and how much of that was the complete meltdown of the Chiefs? San Diego next week will prove a lot as SD is playing great football and as much as I think Philip Rivers is a big crybaby, he’s having a MVP year.
Uniform Czar Moment
The orange jerseys are absolutely the most gorgeous unis the Broncos have and should be their standard home jersey. I’ve slacked on my uniform commenting this year… a serious let down in my duty to humanity on this issue. I will have a Christmas special or end of year ranking again at some point.
Alabama, Texas and the BCS Championship Game
I’ve waited long enough. I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. Alabama with ROLLLLLL tonight against Texas…hopefully.
There probably hasn’t been a closer match-up in the title game since the last time Texas was here against USC. In that game, Texas was considered an underdog, the pundits underestimated the impact the Texas QB would have. I think there are a lot of parallels in this game as well.
As a Tide fan – nothing was more satisfying than the dominant performance over the Gators in the SEC Championship game. Alabama dominated in every phase of the game, played their most complete game ever. It was a welcome site after eeking out a win against Auburn, needing 3 block kicks against Tennessee, and a Herculean effort from Ingram to beat South Carolina. In other words, Alabama has played close, tight games this season and their defense, special teams and Ingram has bailed them out.
Texas had a great season then laid an egg in the national spotlight against Nebraska in the Big 12 game. What was forgotten was the way they had dominated every one else the rest of the year. While Nebraska’s offense was hideous that night (and for most of the season as well) part of the reason was because of Texas’ defense.
So what to expect tonight? Expect to see Alabama’s defense do what they’ve done all year – roll up on 1st and 2nd down, putting the offense in 3rd and long so they can unleash the Frankenstein of Saban. 3rd and long is never fun for an offense but Alabama’s defense takes it to an art form. They were #3 in the nation in forcing 3 and outs. It’s just about impossible to convert 3rd down against Alabama.
Having said that if any team is equipped to battle this it is Texas. Colt McCoy may not have the urban legendness of Tebow but he is every bit as good as him. A fact I’m sure Saban has hammered into his defense. If Texas can’t get the rushing game going, it will be a long night for them.
On offense – Texas will stack the box and put the game in McElroy’s hand. Can the 1st year QB handle it? Will he perform ala Auburn/Florida game or South Carolina/Tennessee game? I’m guessing Texas will man to man in the secondary. Alabama’s WR Maze and Jones should be able to take advantage of this and they should have plenty of open looks and opportunities. The question is can McElroy get them the ball accurately, on time before getting hit?
Interesting Tidbit of Game #1 – take a look at how many Mac’s are in this game? McElroy, McCoy, McElwain, Mack Brown, McClain. What does it mean? Not sure…
Interesting Tidbit of Game #2 – I made this comment in passing, was about to blog on it, decided to google it first – found out someone had beat me to the punch. The Curse of the White Helmet. The article is worth reading but here is the short version…
Teams that have wore the white helmets this post-season have by and large gotten their clocks cleaned. Florida Gators rocked the white helmet in the SEC championship game – blown out. Oregon wore white vs. Ohio State, making OSU look dominant. Arizona changed to a white helmet for their bowl game against Nebraska. Result: Nebraska looked like Florida. Florida went back to orange helmets while Cincy rocked out new white helmets. Result: Florida beat Cincy worse than they got beat when they last wore white helmets.
Other notable white helmets:
Auburn wore white helmets and escaped with a W somehow against Northwestern.
Penn State needed a monsoon and game winning field goal to beat LSU.
Roll Tide.
Ridonkilous!!
The Broncs are 5-0 and have already exceeded what I thought they would do. Now all of a sudden the schedule doesn’t look as horrendous as it once did. Washington has turned into a horrible team, Dallas – not good. San Diego – absolutely beatable. Philadelphia and New York are still Super Bowl contenders and will definitely test the mettle of this team.
New England may be down this year, may not be the team we all thought they were, but it’s still New England. I thought our special teams were going to give the game right back to the Patsies. This is still a glaring weakness of the Broncos. A fair catch inside the ten, allowing Pats to down punts inside the 5. A running into the kicker penalty and two offsides penalties…not good.
Moreno looks great when he runs but he is fumbling to much. If he continues, his career will be short. Had Buckhalter been healthy, it’s doubtful we’d seen much of Knowshon in the second half. Eddie Royal had his breakout game. Love this guy. Great player, great competitor. Marshall proved once again why he is one of the NFL’s elite receivers when his head is on straight.
But once again, the defense takes the center stage. They are the leaders of this team so far. Doom is beast.
Hats off to McDaniels. First, you can tell the guys are better prepared than they have been in a long time. No knock on Shanny – he’s a great coach and all-time favorite. However, it’s apparent now that his voice had lost the touch, the relevance with the team. Second, his honesty is refreshing. “I lied” was how he responded to a reporter who asked him if this was just another game. It was and he said it and somehow he was able to win and still show his respect to Bill Belicheck and a team he loves.
The Unis
I have no words. Hideous. I actually liked the helmets…being an Alabama guy and all. But the baby poo colored look plus the vertical stripes on the socks… Hands down this is the ugliest throwback unis of all time. Not even close. The Pats on the other hand – great throwback look. I love the patriot hiking the football, the white look, it’s all just slick looking and quite honestly, they never should have changed their look.
AFC West Update
Jokeland – hide all sharp metal objects from the Kitchens family and other Raider fans. JaMarcus is regressing. They are in roll over and die mode.
KC – You can see what Haley is trying to do. He just doesn’t have the players to pull it off. This is just like the Herm Edwards version of the Chiefs. Can’t close a game. If Haley really is an upgrade over Herm Edwards, he’s got to start winning these close games. Pioli can help him by getting players in KC that are better than the ones he has…even if it’s a temporary fix. That alone would send a message to the clubhouse. Real test will be next year.
SD – Norv Turner has got to be feeling the heat. They are 2-2 and all of a sudden 3 games behind Denver. Yes, they are injured but this is the third year SD has come out of the gate slow, cold, and despondent. I don’t think Turner keeps his job after this season if Chargers don’t make playoffs.
Tide Stays At 2
Cooper and I were talking about what would happen this weekend after Texas beat Oklahoma. (We had to talk about something other than his Auburn Kitty Cats getting it handed to them by the Hogs.) We both thought if LSU took care of business, they would leap-frog Alabama in the polls.
Then Florida went out and demolished LSU. Coop thought Alabama would get the 1. I didn’t. Nor did I want them to.
First of all, whatever the rankings are now – it doesn’t matter. Texas has to play Missouri (potentially twice) and Texas Tech. Alabama has to play LSU, Auburn, and either Florida or Georgia (again).
The winners in all of this – Penn State and USC. Both have much easier conference schedules. Neither will face the gauntlet that awaits Texas and Alabama over the next few weeks. Neither will play in a conference championship game and even if they had one, it would be against a much weaker opponent. They wouldn’t have to play a team that could have played for the national championship as Texas and Alabama will surely face (if they make it that far).
So I’m reluctantly pulling for Texas because I’d be sick at my stomach to see PSU and USC sneak back into one of those top two spots.
Although it would be awesome to see Penn State and Alabama play each other again for the national championship. Two of the best uni’s in college sports.
Tide vs. Dogs
Number 3 vs. Number 8
Black vs. White – jerseys that is.
East vs. West
It’s a big game…arguably the biggest so far in the SEC season. (Stow it, Auburn fans. LSU vs. Auburn was sooooo last week.)
Let get all the variables out of the way…
Georgia will be at home, between the hedges with the new UGA sporting those incredibly awesome looking black jerseys. In spite of myself – I love the unis. My only prayer is that it is 110 degrees on Saturday night for all of these are hugely in the favor of the Dawgs.
Alabama will be in the all white unis, highest they’ve been ranked in years with the best team they’ve had in years. None of that really matters except I’m hoping they’ll be sporting the black shoes with the white unis.
But I digress…what this game will ultimately come down to is this – can the Alabama front 7 stop the running game of Georgia. Moreno is a beast and if the Tide have to roll a safety in the box to stop him, the corners will have a long night trying to stop the passing game. It’s not that Georgia’s passing game is awesome. It’s not. It’s lethal and opportunistic. They may only get 150 to 200 yards passing, but it’s when they get those yards that just kills a team.
Alabama’s offense is serviceable and opportunistic as well. They’ll take advantage of field position and turnovers. They’ll grind it out with their backs but it’s not built to run a track meet. Defense has got to show up and play big…
And despite what Clay thinks (ha ha), I think they will.
I originally had ‘Bama dropping this game but that was before what they did to Clemson and Arkansas. Georgia still has the edge on offense and a huge home field advantage. Whatever chance Alabama had to slip in under the radar was gone when this week’s poll was released. Georgia will be UP for this game. Georgia showed up in Tuscaloosa last year and won in overtime.
Here’s hoping ‘Bama can return the favor this year.
The Bowl Unis Fiasco
I love watching college football games, especially during the Bowl season. Well most years I do. This year was a struggle. There was honestly only a couple of games worth watching…most of them ended up as blowouts.
But there is something that is going on in increasing measure that needs to stop…the special “bowl uni.”
There were some teams that had perfectly great looking uniforms all year long only to bust out a hideous version for the bowl game. It should be noted that none of these teams contacted the Uniform Czar for approval.
Exhibit 1: Arkansas Razorbacks 
They went all red. Red pants – granted with a little cool hog on the hip – but they jettisoned their traditional (and sharp looking) white pants with red striping and red jersey. Very disappointing look and was probably the reason they got blown out. Or it could have been that Missouri was that much better.
Exhibit 2: Oregon Ducks 
We should be gentle with the Ducks. They don’t really have a ‘good’ uni. The colors are there – yellow…green…black. I mean, the Green Bay Packers make it work…why can’t Oregon?
But this one was…it made the game painful to watch. What’s with the diamond plates on the shoulders and knees? Why three different shades of green? I get the yellow shoes – ducks, webbed feet…I get it. It’s just not working with the rest of the get up. Every version they come out inevitably ends up being worse than the one before it. It’s just terrible looking.
Special Exemption: Georgia Bulldogs
This is the only special uni that they should think about wearing all the time. Love the black jerseys with red helmets. Just looks freakin’ awesome. I think I actually like this better than their red jerseys.
What I’m not a huge fan of are the patches. The SEC wore their 75th Anniversary patch all year. It looked…well…ridiculous. It was huge. Someone sitting on the upper deck could read those patches. Add to this the special BOWL patch…it starts looking like a Girl Scout Merit Vest.
Why do teams have to put the patch on their jersey anyway? In case we forget what bowl is playing? I mean – give the patch to the team, let them put it on whatever they want – but does the rest of the country have to look at this?
Alas another College Football season is over…only a few more weeks of football.
ECFC Uni/Logo Rankings, 2007
Last year’s ratings revealed both the lack of creativity and honesty of the East Coast Football Club. After the initial ratings were released it was revealed that some of the owners (cough – Memphis Mojo, Da Bears) had STOLEN their logo from other professional sports teams, others had LAZILY (cough – Your Mama) lazily grabbed a suggested picture from the CBS Sportsline file, while others just used Sunday School clip art material.
The embarrassment and cover up that followed led to a re-ranking and questions whether or not this would ever happen again.
Being the Uniform Czar, I took my share of the responsibility for not doing enough research on the designs as well as having a very poorly designed logo and color scheme myself. However, it is hard to design for a team called the Hairballs. This year, I hope to do better in both areas.
So for the next 7 days, we will have a vote on the logos of the ECFC. Make your rankings, 1-10, 1 being the best, 10 being “I can’t believe they even tried.” We will have TWO special category awards as well.
Most Improved (as compared to last years logo)
Most Likely to Found on a Kids Cereal Box (aka Most Ridiculous)
Here are the teams, owners, and logos. The first logo is the current look, the second one is the look from last year. Those teams with only one logo – you guessed it – there was no change from last year.
Vote early and often. I do reserve the right to completely ignore the results.
Budapest Brawlers, Tom Seely
Tom had no change in logo this year.
Cincinnati Blue Darters, Matt Ely
The Blue Darters had no logo change this year. We’re still not sure what a blue darter is but we kinda like the upside down lightning.
Da Bears, Richard Coy
Coy made a change. After a barrage of insults, he went with the blue-tongued Bear. We think it’s a message. What makes a bear’s tongue blue? The Blue Darters? Mojo?
versus 
Memphis Mojo, Brian McCurry
No change from last year. He probably isn’t going to change it since he’s winning hardware with it.
Parker Highlanders, Grant English
Name change and logo change. Both needed.
versus 
Pyroclastic, Rob Williams
Name change and logo change. Rob went with only one name because…well…he thinks it makes his team sound scary. Like Prince, right?
versus 
Psycho Dirt Zombies, Paul Oyler
Name change and logo change. Although we loved the Freak Dawgs last year.
versus 
Raleigh Ronions, Brian Fields
No change..still looks like that character from Bob the Builder.
Swamp Fox, Right Reverend Bill Hayes
No change but the guy can preach.
Thuderbirds, Mike Powers
New name, new logo…shame it looks like a turkey.
versus 
Waterford Wombats, Luke Turner
New name, new logo
versus 
Your Mama, Kurt Kerin
same old, same old…You just got beat by Your Mama…still funny. Logo is another story.
Weekly Bronco Rant
Broncos 13, Raiders 3.
I’m supposed to be happy, right? Bronco-land is supposed to be thrilled to be 4-1, right?
I’m not…here’s why…
1. The Raiders are terrible. They are without a doubt the worse organization in pro football – possibly all of professional sports. They are below pond scum. And they could have beat the Broncos last night.
2. Broncos look like they are trying to NOT LOSE games instead of lining up and trying to kill the other teams. It’s like somebody stole Mike Shanahan’s brain and replaced it with Dave Wannstedt’s.
3. The Broncos are playing to the level of the team they play – which in the long run catches up with you. Just ask the Alabama Crimson Tide.
4. The all blue uni’s the Broncos have sported the last couple of weeks are hideous. I feel like the Solid Gold dancers should trot out beside them. Either wear white pants with the blue jersey OR white pants with the orange jersey (that would be a sweet look) OR blue pants and white jerseys – ala Penn State.
[tags]Denver Broncos, NFL, Raiders, uniforms[/tags]
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