lifewalking
Multiplying Your Ministry
This is the first part of some training I’m taking my leaders through at Western Hills. Here are the notes to part 1.
Couple of thoughts as we begin on this topic of multiplication.
First, when we speak of multiplying our ministry, what we are really talking about is multiplying people. People advance the Kingdom of God, not programs. Programs will and should come and go. Programs are tools to be used and evaluated and changed. Their effectiveness will change from year to year.
People on the other hand are the constant. It is people that we are called to multiply and make disciples. The life change stories, the relationships – these are what we are talking about when we talk about multiplying ministry.
Second, this is essential if we really want to be an outward-focused church that functions as the hands and feet of Christ to our community. ESSENTIAL. Any church or follower of Jesus that takes seriously the words of Jesus MUST effectively and consistently multiply their ministry. It is what is at the core of the Great Commission (Matthew 28).
Quick Exercise #1
List all the stuff you are involved in. School stuff, family stuff, church stuff, work stuff. Just a quick list that demands time of you other than specifically your job.
Keep that list handy – we are going to come back to it.
The 3 Circles Of Multiplication
I think there are 3 concentric circles that we need to think about when it comes to multiplication. No particular order, all are needed and important. Ministry, People, and Process.
Circle 1- Ministry WORTH multiplying
This is the program side of the equation. Lot’s of questions and issues we can deal with in this circle. Is it relevant? Is it fun? Is the effort it takes to pull it off worth it? Is it making a difference? Is it producing what we want it to?
But the fundamental, core question that MUST be dealt with is this: Is the focus of the ministry the same as God’s focus?
God’s focus is clear. Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-40) and Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). Love God, Love Others, Serve All, Make Disciples who do the same. At Western Hills we articulate these as – Love, live and serve.
Just pay careful attention to question. It’s not “are there elements that support or participate in love, live and serve?” Almost every program does that in a church but not every program has it as its focus. The question is what is the real focus of that ministry? Is it reaching the lost, making disciples, serving the community? Time to be brutally honest.
Hold on to this question — put it right over here. Let me quickly hit the other two circles.
Circle 2 – People READY to Multiply
Should you multiply yourself in every person inside your ministry?
Harsh reality is NO. Every person deserves to be ministered to. NOT every person is ready to be multiplied into leadership. 2 Timothy 2:2 – invest in able, qualified people.
Some are not ready because of character issues, giftedness, competency, season of life.
Different roles will have different expectations.
The core question in this circle is this:
Do you invest in potential OR do you look for provenness?
Circle 3 – Process WORTH Multiplying
Key Question: Is there a simple yet proven process that moves people from spectator to participant to multiplier?
Lots of other questions go into this circle. Do you have processes that protect the people AND the ministry in case things go upside down? Do you have clearly defined roles and leaders in that process? Do you have markers that let you know you are heading the right direction? What skills and competencies are you looking for?
To successfully and consistently multiply leaders, all three of these circles need to have these key questions answered with definite action points.
The point tonight is not to answer all these questions or even flesh out all of these circles but rather to give us a 35,000k foot viewpoint of this process. To begin to start thinking in these terms so that as we add these pieces to the puzzle, multiplication can start happening.
Quick Exercise #2: The Importance of Ministry Worth Multiplying Circle
Take that list of activities that you created at the start of the evening.
Ask for volunteer.
There is a great opportunity to tutor at risk kids after school, using any curriculum I want. I can even use the scriptures for character studies but I need someone to help me, are you in?
First – any opportunity that I’m offered I’m first going to my list of stuff that I’m already involved in and I’m asking myself – is this opportunity WORTH fitting into my life? Either cramming it into an already packed life OR by saying NO to something else. WORTH is relatively defined.
I’m also going to evaluate my list of activities with this question – is this WORTH doing?
Second – as a leader – I want to make sure I define WORTH like God has defined WORTH. This is a love, live and serve opportunity. This is a Great Commandment/Great Commission opportunity.
My job as a leader is NOT to guilt people into showing up or participating. That won’t last and it’s not of God. My job is to be a champion of what God is doing. To point out the already there eternal value and worth of the opportunity.
Quick Exercise #3 – Take a ministry you are in and walk thru 3 circles answering key questions.
Example: Men’s Fraternity
Circle 1 – focus is to disciple men into being spiritual leaders who love, live and serve. YES, worth it.
Circle 2 – Need a key PROVEN leader for director/champion position. Same vision, passion for discipleship. Deep Christ-follower, self-starter, available to do it, teachable, high character, honest, not perfect, vulnerable.
Found the guy – now ready to start.
Circle 3 — Process proven to work
Other churches have their trophies, we don’t…yet. We have process we want to try, run with it and evaluate as we go.
Nor do we have a process to replace Director…yet. We will need to address this if this is going to make it beyond just one season. Every ministry needs to wrestle with that question otherwise focus becomes the program and filling slots.
4 Foundational Multiplication Principles
1. Make micro decisions with macro viewpoint of does this advance God’s Kingdom?
2. Call people NORTH. Even yourself.
Ask more of people than where they are. Don’t ever demand more of those around you than yourself. Keep Love, Live, Serve in the forefront.
3. Something is better than nothing.
It’s easier to steer than start. GO! Starting somewhere and changing it later is better than doing nothing until you have the perfect plan. We know what doing nothing produces – nothing.
4. Invest in PEOPLE, not the program.
Programs have shelf life. Our job isn’t to keep the program running. Our calling is to make disciples who love, live, and serve.
Open Questions, Comments, and Thoughts
Which circle should we start with? Depends. All three need to be developed and dealt with but program and condition of culture will have a HUGE role in determining which circle to tackle first.
Key entry points into ministries is PEOPLE (relationship) and MINISTRY (program) but long term investment will only happen if all three are developed.
PROCESS is the most neglected circle in most churches. They spend time and energy running around to fill slots instead of developing people. Must change in order to be a multiplying church.
Live Connected
This originally appeared on whillschurch.org as a weekly devo.
Part 4 of Vision Devo series.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Live Connected is perhaps the most difficult of the three (love, live, and serve). It’s the easiest to misunderstand and hardest to actually do.
There are two common misunderstandings of what “live connected” means. The first is a small group dedicated to the gaining of knowledge. Bible study, Sunday school, and most small groups are of this variety. We study the scriptures, we look and listen for insights and we will talk about how it COULD apply in real life. The other misunderstanding is a group dedicated to accomplishing a task. Ministry teams – youth, children, worship, tech team – any group that has an event or specific task to accomplish.
It’s possible to live connected with each of these two groups but most of the time it doesn’t happen. Why? Because to live connected is messy. It’s allowing other people access to our lives in a way that gives them the right and responsibility to speak truth to us and to love on us for the purpose of life change, to look more like Jesus. That’s the key difference between live connected and just a bible study or serving together. Life change, vulnerability, authenticity – these are necessary for live connected.
Take a look at your current small group experience. Is the purpose of that group life change? To challenge and love each other towards Christ-likeness? Or is it just the pursuit of more Bible knowledge? Or the accomplishment of a task? There’s nothing WRONG with those two other options. It’s just that those alone will not result in life change.
Why is live connected even necessary? Because we won’t naturally strive for life change on our own…at least long term. We need encouragement, a model, and even accountability for this to happen. We can’t “love our neighbor as ourselves” without others. Jesus modeled this for us.
It’s part of our mantra because we know that it will be impossible for us to be who God wants us to be without the ministry of others in our life. Impossible.
I’m Back…And Nationwide
You can’t really go wrong with a ZZ Top reference to start the year.
This year, the Church Council is getting focused on answering the questions – what does a spiritual leader look like and HOW do we become that, how do we model that, how do we reproduce that, celebrate that, and empower that? If we are going to be a Love, Live, Serve church that impacts our city (and beyond) it’s crucial we know and become deeper servant leaders. Can’t reproduce what you aren’t, right?
So this morning was our first gathering attempting to seek God’s answers to this question. We meet twice a month, once solely for study and prayer, the second for study and decisions. Here are most of the thoughts that hit the floor this morning.
I put them out here for a couple of reasons. First, I want our congregation to know that leadership is more than just making decisions and meeting once a month. At least it’s more than that here. It’s about character development, it’s about creating a culture where God gets the last word. It’s having the audacity to say “I don’t know, I need some clarity from God on this.” Second reason is often times the journey is just as important as the destination.
At some point in this coming year, we will have some answers to those questions. And those answers will drive us to the next step at Western Hills in what we do in reproducing spiritual leaders. Those answers will define what programs we do and don’t do, what projects we tackle and which ones we pass on. But for now — we’re seeking, we’re listening. And that’s okay…and that kind of discipline is best done in community.
So consider this an invitation to listen with us.
Tuesday, January 4, 7:00 am
Opening Question:
What is a spiritual leader? What does he/she look like? What scriptures help form this kind of person?
1 Peter 3:1 - Wives submit to your husbands. (This was given by a woman around the table, by the way.)
“There is a need for us to understand the goodness of submission, especially submission to Jesus. We submit because He loves us, He leads us. He wants best for us. Submission is at the heart of servant leaders.”
“Not compartmentalized in their understanding of God.”
“Faithful in small things.”
“Can hold the paradoxes of our faith humbly. Truth AND grace.”
Galatians 2:20
“Famous first part of verse most of us know — it is not I that I live but Christ in me. Larger focus needs to shift to second half of verse – the life I NOW live, I live by FAITH in the Son who loves me and gave Himself for me.”
What do we do with those people who see and hear the truth of deeper spiritual waters but won’t go there? Not the people who CAN’T go there – because of hurt and need healing. But rather those that willfully say – “No, don’t want any of that kind of Jesus?”
How do we get people to the place of maturity in Christ?
What are the gauges for us to know if we are heading in the right direction?
What thermometers are there for us to let us know if we are doing this right?
Do we know where that place is well enough to start with? If we can’t answer the WHAT, it doesn’t matter how we answer the HOW.
Most people are sick of church, tired of church. Is it possible to be a spiritual leader without the Church?
GE: This is a question we need to return to again. Lots of implications in this question…
Colossians 4:1-6
Spiritual leaders pray and seek for the opportunities to speak about the ‘mystery’ of God wherever they are. They church where ever they find themselves.
What scriptures have formative power over us? What scriptures have challenged us to change and be better people and leaders?
GE’s thoughts:
This is a starting point. We have to be able to answer the WHAT question before the HOW. What are we trying to reproduce in the life of another believer? This is by no means a final answer but a starting point for us as we seek to articulate God’s grid for Western Hills and what it means to be a spiritual leader here.
Being a spiritual leader is multi-faceted to be sure. There are some skills and competencies that I’d like to see but the baseline is character. The stuff that is harder to see and evaluate. Paul gives his list in Ephesians.
Ephesians 4:1-6
Walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling….
7 key thoughts of what it means to walk worthy of the calling…
1. humility – self-explanatory, not self-serving, not false humility
2. gentleness – the lack of an edge with people. There is no way to get around the stumbling block of Jesus. Just let that block be Jesus, not my personality.
3. patience – Am I as long suffering with others as I pray God to be with me?
4. accepting with love – everybody has baggage. love them anyway, in spite of their junk.
5. diligent about unity of Body – diligence not about status quo but unity and….
6. Unity is based on Christ – not on traditions, programs, my ego, etc.
7. lives with knowledge that God is in all, around all – non-compartmentalized
Great starting point…more to come.
Trumpet Practice and Reason #30 of Why I’m In A Life Group
Camber is learning the trumpet. She’s very good at it…considering that she’s only been playing since August. She comes home every afternoon and practices. She’ll do her scales, she’ll warm up, then she’ll tackle her music.
And I’ve been impressed with the progress. Yes, those first few practices she sounded like a harpooned whale on life support in an Seinfeld episode. But she kept blowing that horn and now – she’s good. I can recognize the tunes. And they are in time. And she likes playing.
But having a trumpet player in the family means that the whole family is committed to the process. You don’t secretly practice the trumpet. It doesn’t happen. We don’t have to ask Camber if she’s practiced her trumpet. We know. When she is about to start, she walks through the house warning us – “I’m about to rattle the roof with the awesomeness of the brass horn!”
And the more she practices, the more enjoyable it is. For us all.
This is the idea behind Life Groups. We know if someone is practicing because we’re around. We see it. We hear it. We experience it with them. It’s the idea of practicing our serve or other spiritual discipline. It’s awkward at first but the more we practice, the more enjoyable it is for us all.
And because life-change is a public thing, we see and hear and taste and know the difference. It’s obvious. And we want to celebrate it when it happens well.
Just another reason.
Reasons 14-29 of Why I Am In A Life Group
You can check out the first 13 reasons if you missed them. After that conversation, I’ve been asking folks the same question when I remember. Here are more of the answers.
14. I know I have others praying for me.
15. And with me.
16. My kids get to have cool friends.
17. My older kids get to learn how to serve younger kids.
18. I don’t have to pretend to be okay with these people.
19. Finally found another adult to play Halo with. (names are withheld to protect the guilty.)
20. Gives my kids access to other adult believers.
21. I’m learning to be a better parent.
22. I’m learning to be a better spouse.
23. I feel more connected to God.
24. I have free emergency baby-sitters.
25. I now know how to pray to God.
26. I know someone I can borrow power tools from.
27. It’s where I can learn about Jesus without all the big, churchy words.
28. I feel more connected on Sunday morning.
There aren’t too many situations more intimidating than walking into a room full of people and not knowing the name of single person. It’s like that dream of showing up at school with nothing on but your underwear. And don’t lie to me either, we’ve all had it. That feeling of being exposed, vulnerable. HATE IT!! I had a friend tell me this week that looking for a church home was harder than finding a home to live in.
A Life Group is huge in bridging this gap on Sunday morning. It’s going to be difficult to feel connected without deep, meaningful relationships. A Life Group is THE way to develop these kinds of relationships.
And it doesn’t have to always be serious stuff. I know a life group that is going to carve jack-o-lanterns together this weekend.
Reason #29 – Learn how to carve a pumpkin.
Reasons 1 thru 13 of Why I Am In A Life Group
It’s easy to assume that the reason we are in a life group is because I’m a pastor and that’s what pastor families do…or at least supposed to do. Honestly, it’s not even a factor at all. “I’m not just the president for Hair Club for Men, I’m a client!” Life groups have been a part of our lives before I was a pastor.
Why don’t most people ever get involved in a life group? Basically, I’ve heard of 4 reasons.
1. I’m too busy/tired.
2. I’m a private person.
3. My life is a complete train wreck right now and I don’t want anyone else to know it.
4. I don’t want to deal with other people’s train wrecked life.
Not all of them are bad reasons.
But I wonder if they have ever stopped to list the reasons they SHOULD join a life group? I started making a list with a buddy of mine this week. He was in the middle of telling me about his life group. Here’s what I jotted down just in his 5 minutes of telling me about his life group.
1. I have friends closer than family.
2. Every one needs a safe place to get a good cry in every now and then.
3. I get to see people healed.
4. It gets me downtown. (They serve once a month at the Topeka Rescue Mission.)
5. You can never have to many good recipes.
6. I get more hugs now than in my previously 50 plus years of living.
7. I get to help people move. (I personally think this should go on the other list. But hey…)
8. Free snacks.
9. Our house is being used to serve God.
10. We serve together as a family.
11. I don’t have another place to ask questions about spiritual matters.
12. Get to help raise other people’s kids and vice versa.
13. I give hope to younger parents that they are not in this alone.
Five minutes of conversation – 13 reasons. There was barely a pause.
Raising three kids of my own, I resonate with reason #13. There are days when I think there is no way I’ll ever be sane or cool or normal again. I know – some of you are wondering was I ever sane, cool, or normal. But that’s not the point.
The point is this – living connected in community is the key difference between a REAL life group and just a group of people getting together to study the Scriptures. I already know more scripture than I can apply. I need the community. The community makes me a better dad, husband, leader, and overall person. I need the community because by myself, I lose perspective. I need the community because raising kids is crazy hard. And I don’t know all that I need to know.
And in light of that, those other 4 reasons don’t seem so huge.
Stepping In The Jordan
Joshua 3:5
Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.”
This past Sunday, I told our congregation about what God had been saying to us as staff and council of the last few months. If you didn’t hear the message — go here now and listen to it. Basically, over the last 9 months we think God has revealed the WHAT and the WHO but not the HOW…and He’s not going to reveal the HOW until we’re obedient with what He’s already told us. And the story of Joshua keeps ringing in my mind….
I do expect God to do great things. I do expect the days ahead are better than the days behind. I know the Lord is still in the miracle business and pray to that end. I think the team and people that He is bringing together at Western Hills is setting the church up for success for the next decade or longer.
But I’m pretty sure that I missed those first two words that Joshua said for the better part of my life — Consecrate yourself.
consecrate – the solemn dedication to a special purpose or service, usually religious, to associate with the sacred.
Get ready, get oriented around God again, remember your purpose, remember the point.
This hit me this week — where do spend most of my prayer time? If you listened to me long enough and didn’t know God better, you’d probably think God is incredibly reluctant to bless me or the people around me. Nothing could be further from the truth but think about how much time we spend begging God to show up and show off, pull another miracle out of the hat compared to how much time we spend consecrating ourselves to Him.
It doesn’t even compare, does it? Yet – God tells them to get ready. “I’ve proven my character, time for you to prove yours because I’m about to do something amazing amongst you.”
How do we do that, though? What does that look like? How do we consecrate ourselves for the work of God in our work or school or home? What does stepping in the Jordan look like for us at Western Hills?
Understand the awesomeness of the situation. Joshua didn’t have to convince the people that while they had God’s promise, they also had a significant barrier in seeing that promise fulfilled. It was staring them right in the face – the Jordan river at flood stage plus fortified cities waiting to fight them. In spite of obstacles, they were able to see God as bigger, stronger, and higher.
For us, the economy is a significant barrier. With giving at 15% below budget, we will need a significant increase in giving for this to work into 2011. But we can’t deny the incredible opportunity to develop spiritual leaders, the harvest God is bringing to us, and the community we have to BE the church for. It’s an awesome situation.
Understand God wants to bless His people. He wants to bless all people in all places with the ultimate blessing – Himself. He wants to bless us with His presence, with answered prayers, with changed lives. And that’s the mission we are chasing. So our direction is right.
Starts with a new rhythm of worship. The Hebrews had a history of taking God for granted, becoming ritualistic and hollow in their worship, and at times ignoring God altogether. The reminder to consecrate themselves is a command to not get complacent in our journey with God.
It’s why we use the mantra – Love God, Live Connected, and Serve All at Western Hills. To remind us that worship is more than just music and teaching on Sunday but a lifestyle that manifests care and blessing to others, that serves beyond ourselves.
I encourage you this month to find a new rhythm of worship, to consecrate yourself for this journey ahead of us. For some of us that is going to mean finding other people to connect with and do life with. For others, serving at the Rescue Mission or McCarter for the first time. For some of us, it may mean getting in the rhythm of giving a portion of our income back to God for the first time.
Can’t wait to get our feet wet.
Reggie McNeal and the Future of Church
I had the incredible honor of listening to Reggie talk yesterday. I’ve read his books, I’ve heard him multiple times – he never gets old. It’s like listening to Yoda…and he’s about that same height. My favorite quotes from yesterday.
Being missional starts with the understanding that Christianity is not a western philosophy but an encounter with the real person of Jesus.
I’m not here to help you do church better. I’m here to challenge you to BE the church FOR your community, not just IN your community.
The Church, not A church. When people say “a church” they reveal that they don’t get it. We are THE church. We church wherever we go.
Missional Church is a redundant term.
Missional is simply the people of God partnering with Him in His redemptive mission in the world. He is already at work, we are to be a people of blessing in that work.
The Church is a people of blessing. This mission predates the church because blessing is the character of God himself. See Genesis 12.
How can we practice being the church? Start asking “how can we be a people of blessing?” How can we bless at our jobs, schools, clubs, social circles, city, community?
Every church ought to have at least one school they have adopted. Showing up at a school once a year to paint the playground is NOT a partnership. Pray for those teachers, provide school supplies, ask them – “what do you need to help you overcome the obstacles that you are facing?”
The problems of our community first manifest themselves in our schools.
We aren’t the point. The Church isn’t the point. Thinking the point is the church is like thinking the airport is the point of travel. We go to places and the airport is the means to the ends. It’s a vital part of our journey but the journey isn’t about spending time in the airport. The Airport is a tool. Same for church – she is a connector to real LIFE and Kingdom.
One of the largest obstacles we face in the West is the Outsource Mindset. We outsource everything – car maintenance, lawn mowing, education and even spiritual formation. Program based churches feed this monster. What is needed is more people-development, more life on life, as we go, in the middle of life church.
The Silence of God
Had a friend confide in me this:
People keep talking about how our prayers aren’t answered because we don’t pray correctly. I get exasperated at that notion. Are there set rules for how you approach a deity? I understand that “oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz” is probably not what prayer is all about. AND I know James speaks about not being double minded when we pray. But I find it hard to believe that when I pray about something that appears to go unanswered (or not answered in the way I would like it to be) that this is due to my not speaking the right words in the right way. I think that unanswered prayer has more to due with the differences in our perspective as opposed to God’s perspective.
My first thought is this – all prayer is answered. All. It’s either a yes, no, or wait. Having said that, it doesn’t make the silence of God any easier to understand. I remember as a kid asking for something and the worse possible answer you could get was “wait” or “not now.” The. Absolute. Worst. Answer. Ever.
Wait is ambiguity at its best. Wait tests to the core the true character of who I am…and the failure rate is at times alarming. Wait is that sick feeling at the top of the roller coaster in between the climb and when the bottom falls out from underneath you. Looking back — it’s a split second. In that moment — it’s an eternity. Wait. Not now.
What would happen in that split second at the top of the coaster if I decided I was tired of waiting and did something about it? Like — get out of the coaster. Unhooked the safety harness? Unpacked a sandwiched and a drink to stay for a while? It’s ridiculous to think like that, isn’t it? The impatience would get you killed. The complacency would get you messy. The only response that makes sense in that moment is readiness…just be ready. Do what you know to do — which on a coaster is raise up your hands and scream like a little girl.
Real life is that coaster – our life is but a vapor – about the length of a coaster ride. And I’m not trying to diminish the moment between the climb and drop. There is real hurt, frustration, confusion, and anguish in those moments. But that just further amplifies what God says to us — BE STILL and KNOW. Don’t get ahead, don’t lag behind. Be ready. Wait. Be still. It’s not a ‘unpack the lunch, pitch the tent’ kind of wait. It’s not a run ahead of God kind of wait. It’s a wait kind of wait. Active, ready, stillness wait.
Stillness is different than complacency. But that might just be another post.
It’s Not A Sin To Be A 7th Grader
Marko mentioned something akin to this on his blog last week – and God is reminding me of it everyday this week.
There is no such thing as 12 year-old loser. They are a blank slate, an opportunity, a white board. They are full of promise and potential but not a loser. They are curious, whimsical, at times aloof, always honest, and teachable.
There have been a couple of public announcements that have teased our 7th graders about being 7th graders and it’s rubbing me the wrong way. And I’m not a saint – I’m guilty of teasing to much, taking jokes to far, not being sensitive to the moment. So much of this rant is as directed to me as anyone else but I can’t escape the importance of mentors for this age group.
Am I more aware of because my son is a 7th grader? Or because I’m finally growing up and maturing? Or because after all these years of student ministry I finally understand how important it is to start early and start deep? Or it’s more evident than ever that our younger kids get so few encouraging words?
Not sure why. Could be the lack of sleep. I’m one of the few (only?) lead pastors here at camp this week. I’m hearing from more and more youth pastors how they wish their lead pastors were more involved…and I understand both sides of the fence. There are things about being a lead pastor I never saw and understood as a youth pastor. There are pressures and pulls that I never had as a youth pastor.
But…when it all gets said and done this one truth still demands a response – being in the 7th grade is incredibly difficult and it’s one of those rare windows we get as an adult to make a difference.
Because there is no such thing as a 12-year old loser.
The Starting Blocks of Beyond the Starting 5
This is part of the Beyond The Starting 5 project. A writing safari where I explore the idea of what people-development looks like in the local church. I have no idea what I’m doing, mileage may vary.
My first attempt in trying to ‘institute’ this idea of people-development was with a team of youth volunteers. We were all eager and excited but we quickly realized we had one major problem. None of us really knew where to start. Part of the problem (and maybe I should have listed this as another obstacle) was that so few of us were really developed (discipled) in the first place. And those of us who were had two opposite extreme experiences.
The Navigators/Crusade/Para-church Method
There is a point A and a point B. There is a mentor and a mentee. There is a definite path to take and way to do it. And we will ONLY do it that way. Learn this tract, this subject, this method. When we get the checklist done, you are ‘discipled’ and ready to lead.
There is a lot to like in this method. It covers the basics. It’s easy to understand. It’s focused. It’s structured. Some would argue TOO STRUCTURED.
However, there are some limitations to it. It’s often times more focused on getting a person enough KNOWLEDGE to perform a certain task than it is developing them as a person. The goal is to either get that person to lead a small group Bible study or share their faith. Both tasks are awesome things but it’s not necessarily developing the person. It still functions like “we train to run the program” instead of developing the person. When this kind of method runs into someone who doesn’t fit, the job is no longer trying to develop that person but to find someone else who does fit.
I’m not saying it’s incorrect. It’s just incomplete. And while this method rubs us visionary/abstract random people the wrong way, let’s face it — for years (decades?) it was still better than anything the local church or denominations were putting out. Which could probably be best summarized by this…
The Osmosis/If You Throw Enough Stuff On The Wall It Will Stick Method
Get a little Old Testament, a lot of Gospel, a little Revelation, a dash of the Letters. We’ll sprinkle in some current events and hot button issues that really aren’t hot button issues for those outside the church walls (worship style, dress codes, women in ministry, denomination politics). We’ll meet once a week and ask questions like “have you just lied to me” which puts us in this “Spiritual Police” mentality. Just hang around people who look like they know what they are doing and eventually you will catch “it.”
There is a lot that goes wrong with this method. Those people who look like they have it together really don’t. Ends up they are more focused on keeping the mask on. If people found out how messed up they (I) were, they’d be kicked off the team, out of the church. Besides that piety is easier than messy spirituality.
BUT – the one true nugget of this method that shouldn’t be missed is that true people development is going to mean hanging around people and getting involved in their TRUE story BEFORE we figure out the destination.
Every time I get a chance to sit down with another ministry leader, I’ll ask this question:
“When you start to develop and invest in person, what are the markers you want to hit? How do you know that your discipleship/people development process is working?”
And that’s the question I’ll tackle next. Unless something else comes up.
Tinkerbell Is Evil
guess no one here likes puppies..you are some sick sick twisted people! I bet you didn’t clap for Tinkerbell.
– @RC2k (via Twitter)
I responded –
Tink stands for everything evil in women – to tiny, dresses skanky yet ‘pure’, drama queen, in love with boy who cares less – @thegsides (via Twitter)
As a sidebar, RC2k is “Ray” and he has a cool blog. Not as cool as mine. Okay, it’s better than mine but don’t tell him I said that.
The point is Tinkerbell really does stand for everything we don’t want our daughters to grow up to be like.
She flies around half-dressed. Yet, she’s “innocent.” What kind of double-message is that? Is it really logical to dress like that and then be shocked when you’re treated like an object?
She sticks her nose in everyone’s business.
She’s gullible. She believes Captain Hook over Peter Pan? Nice discernment.
Her taste in men is questionable. Peter Pan never grows up. I don’t want my daughter following around any boy that doesn’t grow up. I don’t mean he has to be serious all the time but maturity is essential. Besides that, Pan could care less about Tink once Wendy shows up. Do you really want to be with someone who is only looking for the next best thing?
She’s easily made jealous. Which means she probably has some self-esteem issues but besides that – I want my daughters to be secure enough in who they are so that no one can make them feel inferior.
She’s a drama-queen. The whole bell ringing every time she is upset about something? Does any one really like this kind of life?
Her existence is dependent on the approval of others.
No. I am not a Tinkerbell fan. Let the comments begin!
Beyond the Starting 5
This post is the start of a writing safari, an experiment. I want to explore the idea of what people-development looks like in the local church. Why is it important? What will it do? What does it mean? Please be warned, I have little to no idea what I’m doing, your mileage may vary.
Anyone who has ever played basketball knows the starting 5 will only get you so far. The long term success of a season and a program depends on those beyond the starting five. Attrition happens. “That is the sound of inevitability, Mr. Anderson.” (Yes — I had to get a Matrix quote in somewhere.) There will be injuries, ineligibility, sickness, lack of performance, and who knows what else that will knock people out of the starting positions.
Every coach knows this. What separates the great ones from the not-so-great ones is how they prepare for this reality. The great ones develop and invest in more than just those starters. They are relentless in the development of every one of their players. Systems, offenses, defenses, training programs may change from year to year but what doesn’t change is their non-compromising focus on developing players. They know that a culture like that takes years to develop. They also know that if they didn’t develop other players, their program could fade into mediocrity or worse – oblivion – in just one season.
Think about it…the teams that are historically good -Duke, Kansas, North Carolina – have coaches that have established a system that is totally focused on developing players. The wins come as a result of developing players. They are intentional about it. They eat, drink, and sleep player development.
It’s easy to see this same principle play out in the local church. Churches that ‘get it’ and are making a long-term impact on their community are churches that are relentless on developing people. They turn their whole organization upside down to help develop people. The programs are just tools, the focus is on developing people.
Every single aspect of a church’s vision depends on developing people. Every single goal and idea is dependent upon this concept.
Think I’m wrong? Think that’s an overstatement? Have you read the Great Commission lately? This concept should not be a huge shock to most of us. The collision of the Great Commission and the Great Commandment is exactly what I’m talking about – making disciples because we love them. Developing people because we love them. Because God loves them. I mean, seriously, this should NOT be this much of a stretch to understand.
Yet, it obviously is. How many churches wishes they had more leaders? More spiritually deep people? How many churches are running their programs with a great starting 5 but no bench whatsoever?
I’m in the same boat, so don’t read this like I’m the expert. Far from it. So for the next 30 days, I’m going to try to flesh out this idea, try to find some handles on this concept and maybe in the process figure out what are some practical steps that we can take to create a culture where we focus on developing people more than anything else.
This isn’t just a mental exercise for me either. I’m a pastor of a church that is in this boat. We have some of the most incredible volunteer leaders on the planet. The problem is there is no one really beyond the starters.
And it’s true that means we are in deep weeds if anything should happen to them. Or they get tired. Or God calls them to do something else. But that’s not really a good reason to develop people. That’s a self-focused kind of reason that ultimately fails. It ends up being guilt.
It’s important to start thinking about this and start doing something about it because to NOT to is to reject the Great Commission. To not start developing people is an utter failure in making disciples. And making disciples is different than running a great program.
It’s possible to run a great program and never make a disciple. It’s real easy to confuse the two…and I think that is where I’ll start tomorrow.
The Ongoing Safari of Beyond The Starting 5
Running the Program or Developing People
I Can See Clearly Now…
Obstacles and Developing People In The Church
The Starting Blocks of Beyond The Starting 5
I’m Looking For A Raft
RAFT, Part 2
Why Not Every Sunday?
Life Group last night offered up probably one of my favorite moments of the whole weekend.
My good friend, who is a new believer, offered up this gem – “The most powerful words of the service this morning were “He is risen” then hearing the everyone say “He is risen, indeed.” I’d never heard that before. I just stopped in that moment and was just completely blown away by the reality of that statement.”
“Why don’t we do that every Sunday?”
The entire Life Group just stopped. Out of the mouth of babes…. I have absolutely no good reason as to why we don’t do that every Sunday.
Here is this new follower of Jesus and what he is going to remember most about that service – what had the most impact on him – was not the songs, the stage set-up, the sermon but the simple declaration of why we worship every Sunday, not just Easter.
This is another reason why I believe every spiritual leader needs to be in a discipling relationship with a new believer. They have so much to teach us.
Discipleship In An Instant World
I was at Oasis today in Emporia. Oasis is a one-day refreshment for area youth pastors and Danny Payne has hosted it the last two years. He asked me to come lead a round table discussion.
Instead of having an outline of points to make, I had questions. Here was the list I brought…
Who can be discipled by you?
How much time do you really have per month to do face to face, 1 on 1 to 3 discipleship?
What skills do you want a person to have after spending 6 months with you?
What key questions should you be asking every time you sit down with a leader?
What’s the focus of the questions you ask the people you are discipling? Are they program/ministry questions or are they soul care questions?
What’s the end game look like? What does maturity look like?
I challenge you to answer those questions before you read much further. At least think on them for 10 seconds.
Okay, I know you didn’t answer them but I’m going to keep writing anyway.
Who can be discipled by you?
How much time do you really have per month to do face to face, 1 on 1 to 3 discipleship?
I only really get 2 to 3 hours a month 1 on 1 with whomever I’m discipling. Serving together is important, doing ministry together is huge but face to face, 1 on 1 conversation time is alarmingly low. That fact alone stresses the importance of being selective in who we disciple. They have to want it as much as you want to give it. They have to be exercising/serving somewhere. For me, they also need to be in a life group – preferably the same one I’m in.
Why do I have all those strings attached? Because if I’m only going to have 2 to 3 hours of 1 on 1 time, we’re going to need more time together. And serving with each other, in the same Life Group, same Bible study just multiplies the effectiveness of that 2 hours of face time. It makes it more like 14 hours a month.
What skills do you want a person to have after spending 6 months with you?
Heard lots of good answers to this question – vision of ministry (love God, live connected, serve in Jesus’ name), an increase hunger for the word of God. The big thing for me is this – movement. I just want to see some movement. Doesn’t necessarily have to be what I wanted it to be but it needs to be something. A change in habit, a change of opinion, an openness to discussion – something. I want to see something in 6 months that clues me in this is a valuable investment of time.
What key questions should you be asking every time you sit down with a leader?
What’s the focus of the questions you ask the people you are discipling? Are they program/ministry questions or are they soul care questions?
This series of questions had the most ‘oohh, ouch’ moments for us. I constantly have to remind myself that my primary aim in discipleship is SOUL CARE, not ministry care. It’s not a sidebar team meeting to figure out how to better run the ministry. Asking questions about ministry allows us to remove the focus from our heart to external things. I need to ask questions that focus on the heart, the soul.
Some of the good questions that came out:
How’s your soul? Mountaintop? Valley? Rut? Stuck? Climbing? Falling?
How’s your relationship with your spouse?
What’s the biggest victory/celebration point in your life?
What’s the biggest frustration right now?
What is God showing you in the scriptures right now?
What challenged you about the last sermon/bible study/life group?
What do you see in my life that you want?
What do you see in my life that I need to change or at the least think about?
What does the journey look like for you? What does maturity in Christ look like?
This was actually tougher to answer than you think. The list at first was pretty task oriented – read more scripture, memorize scripture, able to feed themselves spiritually, know their gift, use their gift. Good stuff but honestly, we can get those things from a large group Bible study or life group. I’ve touted many of those things on the list. But it’s possible to do the list and be no closer to looking like Jesus.
This hit me during our Ephesians study at church – Paul’s answer to what maturity looked like is found in Ephesians 4:1-6. Here’s the short list:
Completely humble
Completely gentle
Completely patient
Bear with one another in love
Keep the Unity thru peace
So that’s the goal for both of us. That means when we sit down and we talk, we’re looking at how to improve in these areas – humility and gentleness being the sledge hammer for me. Actually…patience is another one.
Life Groups and Marriage
I’ve spent the last three weeks hanging out with leaders on Sunday nights. It’s our “Turbo Group” – a group of leaders who care enough about people to learn how to a Life Group (WH’s small groups). This Sunday will be the last night we hang out in a while and we’re starting a new sermon series the week after that called “I Want A New Marriage.” The timing of these two events isn’t coincidental.
One of the biggest issues facing families today isn’t finances. It’s the quality of their marriage. The financial crunch is often times just the issue that exposes the cracks. With the divorce rate hovering around 66% both inside the church and outside, we’re beyond the ‘it’s a problem’ stage. It’s a crisis. An epidemic. The walking wounded go beyond than just the kids that are caught in the crossfire. It goes to the wife who is ashamed to tell her friends that her marriage is crap. The husband who is to macho to ask for help. The divorcee who refuses to return to church because that institution was at best silent on the issue – at worst, the judgmental voice that condemned him to live life disconnected from God’s people.
I’m amazed at real, gritty, edgy, raw and pointed most conversations in scripture are about marriage and how most churches speak about marriage in the exact opposite manner. That won’t be the case with this new series. I’ve told our congregation every week now that this series has a PG-13 rating and now is a great time to experience our children’s ministry.
But I know the shelf-life on a good message is about 3 days. Meaning – showing up and listening to a few sermons on marriage isn’t really going to help a marriage anymore than watching football is going to get me in shape. This is where our Life Groups could be a huge piece of the marriage healing puzzle. That’s why the result of this Turbo Group is crucial for us. It’s going to provide some contexts for people to get help.
One of the best ways to improve our marriage is to hang out with people who do have great marriages. Watch, observe, interact, be vulnerable with them. Listen. Do life with them. Wisdom is better caught than taught. And that is what a Life Group is – a context to hang with others, be vulnerable, get help and hope.
Room Full of Leaders
Last night our house was invaded by twice as many people as we expected for our Turbo Group. Basically, it’s a room full of people who are passionate about God and people and want to be better at leading our Life Groups. We talked about the need for community, the obstacles of having it, the 5 key disciplines that have to happen in a Life Group for community to happen.
It was a humbling start to the process of creating a culture that reproduces fully-devoted followers of Jesus. At church that morning, we took the sign up list which only had 12 names on it and started adding up who told us they were coming. It topped out at 31. Amy asked me – how in the world are we going to get 31 people in our house? In the same room?
“I have no idea. I’ve never had 31 people want to show up for something like this. Are these people normal?”
No, they’re not normal and that’s exactly the way we like it.
Vick, Second Chances, and the Church
By now you’ve heard that the Philadelphia Eagles have signed Michael Vick. Yes, that Michael Vick. And the PR coming out of the NFL, locker rooms, management is a unified — “Everybody deserves a second chance. I’m glad he got one.” This comes on the same week that Dante Stallworth was suspended for at least a year from the NFL for killing a man while driving drunk. Will that same message come through next year for him?
As I’ve watched and listened to the press this week, my thoughts have consistently returned to the Church and how we treat our ‘prodigals.’ The NFL may just be modeling something for us…
While the rest of the media and league were concerned with if Vick should even be given this chance and the fallout if any organization took him on…Vick, Tony Dungy, and Roger Goodell were working behind the scenes to make sure that IF this was going to happen – the context would be perfect for success. Money wasn’t the issue, culture was the issue.
Look at the particulars of the situation. Andy Reid is a straight-up coach, has had to deal with his own family demons, he’s well-respected in the league, and he didn’t blink about benching Donovan McNabb. There are no star treatments in Philly. Vick will get a fair shake and he won’t be treated like a star.
There’s no QB question as to who the face of the organization is in Philly – Donovan is the man. Vick will be a role player at best. End of story. Philly doesn’t worry about selling tickets, they already do that. It’s a blue collar town. Vick has allowed Tony Dungy full access to his life, a mentor. I promise you this alone has MASSIVE weight in the NFL. Dungy may be the most respected man inside (and outside) the league. Reid and Eagle ownership have given Tony Dungy all-access to the Eagle’s organization and to Vick.
Vick, Dungy, and Goodell have done everything they could to set Vick up to win. Should he even be given this chance? A chance to resume a normal life, to work, and get on with his life? Absolutely. A chance to be the leader and the face of a franchise? Never again. And that is exactly what those three have done…the pressure to lead a team or be the face of an organization is not on Vick. The responsibility shouldn’t be on him either, he blew that chance. But he can still contribute.
Now the ball is in Vick’s hands. And the cost is minimal to the Eagles and the NFL. If Vick fails this time, it will cost him everything. It won’t sink the Eagles or the NFL. They are going to do all that they can to help him but ultimately he has to make the decisions and keep walking the path.
It’s almost the perfect example for the church. How To Restore A Fallen Brother/Sister… Surround him with a mentor that will speak truth into their life, no holds barred. Get with the leadership to make sure everyone is on the same page. Put person back in context with minimum risk to the organization, maximum opportunity for the person. Have clear roles and understanding in that context. Have a clear leader to report to. Have clear consequences if it doesn’t work out. Have maximum vulnerability and authenticity in that context. Take the risk together.
Make Known The Mystery
Last week I preached on Ephesians 3 – the mystery of God and how our mission as the mystery is to make known the mystery. KNOW being more than just intellectual assent, but rather an experiential…well…experience. To taste and see that the Lord is good. Today was another example for me.
A bunch of ladies had been sewing nap mats for Kindergartners at McCarter all summer long. They’d meet up at the church on Thursday morning, start about 9 and sew till lunch. They tried to get me in on the sewing but it was quickly apparent I was a lost cause at things that require fine motor skills.
Last week we took school supplies to McCarter and were invited back on the first day of school (today) to help the teachers distribute the nap mats. So this morning those same ladies showed up at McCarter to help put names on nap mats for the kindergartners.
While there, some teachers were spray painting recess lines on the playground. Immediately a couple of our folks started helping. They didn’t get it all done but it was a start. As the ladies were leaving, a couple of teachers pulled aside Amy.
“We’re floored by what you guys are doing. Absolutely floored. Why?” We love Jesus, we love kids, we love our city, and we want to help. No strings attached, in Jesus’ name.
Simple, straightforward, we don’t expect anything in return. Just an opportunity to serve…again.
My prayer for us is this – as school cranks back up and we get refocused on our own lives we don’t miss the opportunites to continue to serve in Jesus’ name. I pray we leave room to continue to chase after Jesus on this journey of serving others.
Where Are The Posts?
Good night…I’m hoping this is just a season for me but I can’t seem to write anything worth posting lately.
Busy? Yeah, but who isn’t, right? It’s not really busyness that’s kept my blog quiet as of lately. Actually, pace has gotten better in the last few weeks. I’m getting my feet underneath me learning this new culture, new role, new town, new friends, new everything. And everything is new.
I’m not sure why the dry season in my writing right now. It just is. Been here before…doesn’t make it any less frustrating but at least I know in the back of mind it’s not going to last forever. Or will it?
That’s the real fear of dry spots – both in writing, in our marriages, in our work, in our walk with Jesus. The real fear and anxiousness isn’t that it’s dry in this moment. The real fear is ‘how long will this last?’ Is this it? Is this as good as it is ever going to get? Have I hit the wall?
I’ve responded in two different ways in that spot. Go backwards or go forwards. Remember the good old days? They really weren’t that good when I was there and I’m not that old. Let’s go back to what we know. Or – slam it forward. Do something to trigger this funk on up out of here. (Insert bass line here.)
Is this the point where a spiritual sage says – “Stay in the moment.” “Be still and know…” Maybe. I think there are times we’re still, I think there are times to spring forward through the dry times. Going backwards? No. And I don’t see backwards as repentance. Repentance is a course correction as we go forward.
Odd thing…not dry in my walk with Jesus…just dry in writing, putting thoughts on paper…or in HTML as it were. To steal a line from C.S. Lewis – time to go ‘further up and further in.’
What Community Is
We’re in week 2 of our communal disciplines series and I’m loving it. We’ve defined community this way…
A group of people who practice these key 5 disciplines with each other in an environment where healing is the goal and you know you are loved.
Authenticity
Application
Accountability
Guidance
Encouragement
Two common substitutes for community are mission/action oriented groups and study groups. Groups that are centered around doing something – ministry teams, compassion teams, committees – and groups centered around learning or head knowledge – Bible studies, Sunday School classes, small group – are both common substitutes for true community.
Here was the key point to understand – it’s not that either one of these groups are incorrect. We need them both. It’s just that by themselves, they are incomplete when it comes to the subject of life change and spiritual formation.
The Humble List
Wayne asked for some examples of when I misused authenticity. It’s not a totally fair question since he already knows/experienced/was an accomplice to many of those times. But Wayne has never been fair. Entertaining, funny, sarcastic, and loyal but never fair. Love ya’, bro.
I thought about rolling out a few stories illustrating my wonderful knack of zinging the moment with incredible clarity and sarcasm. There are quite a few of them, more than there should be. I’ve decided against that as well. Besides that, those of you who’ve read this blog from the beginning…both of you…could probably recall better than I specific entries that I need to repent about.
I will say a couple of more things about this whole topic. “I was just being real” isn’t a good excuse for hurting someone. In fact, it’s a terrible one. And while I can’t remember an instance when I was real for the purpose of hurting someone…I can recall many that I did so for the purpose of ‘being right.’ It’s not that much better of a reason. For a long time I thought it was.
I think most of us realize that sometimes the truth hurts. Better are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of an enemy. Most of us understand that. Fewer do it. Even fewer than that pursue those kinds of relationship. But if you only pursue that for the purpose of being right, it’s a dead end. You’ll spend more time justifying your life, judging others and in the end, you’re just a pain in the end.
The real point I’m trying to make is this – real authenticity is being real about who you are for the purpose of life change. Just like true spiritual transformation is being formed to the image of Jesus for the sake of others. There is a subtle but important difference in being changed and authentic for the sake of being ‘right.’
It’s the difference in being a servant and being religious, difference between a repentant tax collector and a Pharisee. Difference in being a pastor (in the best sense of the word) and being a super-Christian.
And hopefully that’s the difference I’m trying to accentuate now.
An Incredible Lunch
Had lunch today with Miss Marjerie Fox. It was like spending the afternoon with Angela Lansbury. She told me that her husband led her to the Lord after he was led to the Lord by a bar owner who was a customer of her husband’s beer distribution company.
But that wasn’t the most incredible thing about lunch.
She told me about the Bible study she leads on Thursday afternoons at a local nursing home. As well as the one at our church. As well as another one on one study she has.
But that wasn’t the most incredible thing either.
At the beginning of lunch, I asked our server if there was anything we could pray for him about. I do this whenever I eat out. Our guy’s name was Jeff and his dad is being deployed. He looked shocked I asked but thankful.
Marjerie asked me if I’ve ever had anyone tell me no. I haven’t but it’s led to some pretty interesting conversations.
But that wasn’t the incredible thing about lunch either.
Jeff leaves the check with us and he’s written a note on the receipt. It said thank you, made my day.
He comes back for the card and says obviously you haven’t looked at the receipt. We tell him we had and that it was a nice note.
It hits me that I never looked at the bill. He had comped our entire meal. Paid for it all.
He said it was one of the nicest things that had ever been done for him – that someone would pause to pray for him. He also said to be sure to sit in his section the next time we were in. Then he gave us a free dessert to take home.
We wanted to pray for our server just to be a blessing to him and he ended up being a bigger one for us.
And all of that made it an incredible lunch.
The Inconvenience of Community
“I only disciple guys that I’m doing life with. So if you’re not in my Life Group or doing ministry with me, I’m not discipling you.”
I could tell the words shocked him. He went from smiling to jaw hanging open astonishment. There was no anger or tension between us. I like this guy. I’d love to hang with this guy. He wants to become more of a man of God. He’s a good man already. But he’s looking for more.
It was the last of 5 hard conversations I had on Sunday. The other four wanted personal, face to face, extended attention. Life had one way or another got upside down on them. They were in crisis. Needed some help. Wanted someone to walk through the crisis with them.
I’m flattered they trusted me enough to talk to me. I am. But the problem is – there is only one of me. Besides that…as many of the comments on this blog will attest…I’m not that smart.
I listened to each one. Their issues were varied but each had come to a crossroads of sorts. A tragedy in a family. A trust broken in another. A man wanting to become more of a man of God. After each one got finished, I asked the same question.
“Are you in a Life Group?”
No.
“Are you serving in a ministry with a team?”
No.
“Do you have any other believers that you meet with regularly to pray and study the Bible together?”
No.
After each one, there was a long pause and a look at me like – “What has this got to do with my problem?” After each one, I had the same conversation inside my head with God.
I don’t want to say what You are telling me to say. I asked the questions. You help them figure it out on their own. I don’t want to have this conversation, that’s why. Because I don’t want to be the bad guy. No, God. No. Okay…fine.
So I’d ask….”Why not?”
Every answer was the same…too inconvenient. Too busy. Another night out.
“How much would it be worth right now to know that you had 5 other couples you could call, cry with, pray with, laugh with, be real with – no masks – people that could walk with you through this crisis?”
Would it be worth 2 or 3 nights a month? The inconvenience of getting kids to bed late once in awhile? The inconvenience of having someone spill something on your carpet? Or break a Xbox controller? Is it worth a 12 pack every other week? Would it be worth just those 3 or 4 nights a year of bitter cold, having to wait on the car to warm up and scrape snow and ice off the windshield?
I told each them – “The greatest moments of healing and transformation in my life have come because of the community I’ve chosen to do life with.”
The jaw was still slightly opened. I shrugged my shoulders.
I leveled with him. If we started this discipleship thing, you’ll make some changes. Those changes are going to have a profound impact on your family. Your wife is going to need some godly woman around her, just like you’re going to need more than just me around you. That’s a Life Group. We’ll challenge each other. The two or three coffees a month will have a much great impact if we’re in a Life Group together. But the best first step in becoming a man of God is realizing you can’t do it alone then doing something about that.
And the truth of the matter is this – it would be easier, more convenient, and safer to hole up and stay private. It’d be easier to let people believe that I’m more patient than what I really am, smarter than I really am, and more together than what I really am. Tons easier.
But it wouldn’t be better.