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Just Another Reason Why We Love Our Life Group
May 15, 2012 – 7:20 am
Sunday night, the guys in the group attempted to pull off dinner for the wives/moms in our life group. We had lasagna, garlic bread, salads, and all kinds of dessert – chocolate, strawberries, cheesecake. We did have to call in the ladies for help on a couple of things but all in all – very nice effort by the fellas.
We had two couples in our group do the baby dedication in the services that morning at church. It was nice – very cool slide show and I never want to underestimate the significance of those moments. But at life group, I wanted to do something a bit different.
We went around the room and each of us gave the parents a nugget that we thought would be helpful on their journey in raising their kids under the authority of Jesus. Here is what was said:
Enjoy the time with them. It will go by very fast.
Create an environment in your home where they love being home and what to bring their friends over. Be that house for your kids.
Say “no” to your kids. And mean it. And when they get in trouble, let them feel the consequences while they are still small. It just gets harder the older they get.
What your kids want most from you is you. Not your insight or knowledge or even stuff. Just you. So say yes to that as much as you can even when you are tired, cranky, and lazy.
Pray for your kids, pray over your kids, and pray WITH your kids.
Listen to your kids. You will learn great spiritual truths from them, more than any sermon from Grant.
Don’t ever be afraid to apologize to your kids when you’ve messed up. It won’t undermine your authority, they won’t take advantage of it. They forgive quickly, it shows them true humility, they’ll grow up respecting you more for it.
What would you add?
Multiplying Your Ministry
January 10, 2012 – 10:37 am
This is the first part of some training I’m taking my leaders through at Western Hills. Here are the notes to part 1.
Couple of thoughts as we begin on this topic of multiplication.
First, when we speak of multiplying our ministry, what we are really talking about is multiplying people. People advance the Kingdom of God, not programs. Programs will and should come and go. Programs are tools to be used and evaluated and changed. Their effectiveness will change from year to year.
People on the other hand are the constant. It is people that we are called to multiply and make disciples. The life change stories, the relationships – these are what we are talking about when we talk about multiplying ministry.
Second, this is essential if we really want to be an outward-focused church that functions as the hands and feet of Christ to our community. ESSENTIAL. Any church or follower of Jesus that takes seriously the words of Jesus MUST effectively and consistently multiply their ministry. It is what is at the core of the Great Commission (Matthew 28).
Quick Exercise #1
List all the stuff you are involved in. School stuff, family stuff, church stuff, work stuff. Just a quick list that demands time of you other than specifically your job.
Keep that list handy – we are going to come back to it.
The 3 Circles Of Multiplication
I think there are 3 concentric circles that we need to think about when it comes to multiplication. No particular order, all are needed and important. Ministry, People, and Process.
Circle 1- Ministry WORTH multiplying
This is the program side of the equation. Lot’s of questions and issues we can deal with in this circle. Is it relevant? Is it fun? Is the effort it takes to pull it off worth it? Is it making a difference? Is it producing what we want it to?
But the fundamental, core question that MUST be dealt with is this: Is the focus of the ministry the same as God’s focus?
God’s focus is clear. Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-40) and Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). Love God, Love Others, Serve All, Make Disciples who do the same. At Western Hills we articulate these as – Love, live and serve.
Just pay careful attention to question. It’s not “are there elements that support or participate in love, live and serve?” Almost every program does that in a church but not every program has it as its focus. The question is what is the real focus of that ministry? Is it reaching the lost, making disciples, serving the community? Time to be brutally honest.
Hold on to this question — put it right over here. Let me quickly hit the other two circles.
Circle 2 – People READY to Multiply
Should you multiply yourself in every person inside your ministry?
Harsh reality is NO. Every person deserves to be ministered to. NOT every person is ready to be multiplied into leadership. 2 Timothy 2:2 – invest in able, qualified people.
Some are not ready because of character issues, giftedness, competency, season of life.
Different roles will have different expectations.
The core question in this circle is this:
Do you invest in potential OR do you look for provenness?
Circle 3 – Process WORTH Multiplying
Key Question: Is there a simple yet proven process that moves people from spectator to participant to multiplier?
Lots of other questions go into this circle. Do you have processes that protect the people AND the ministry in case things go upside down? Do you have clearly defined roles and leaders in that process? Do you have markers that let you know you are heading the right direction? What skills and competencies are you looking for?
To successfully and consistently multiply leaders, all three of these circles need to have these key questions answered with definite action points.
The point tonight is not to answer all these questions or even flesh out all of these circles but rather to give us a 35,000k foot viewpoint of this process. To begin to start thinking in these terms so that as we add these pieces to the puzzle, multiplication can start happening.
Quick Exercise #2: The Importance of Ministry Worth Multiplying Circle
Take that list of activities that you created at the start of the evening.
Ask for volunteer.
There is a great opportunity to tutor at risk kids after school, using any curriculum I want. I can even use the scriptures for character studies but I need someone to help me, are you in?
First – any opportunity that I’m offered I’m first going to my list of stuff that I’m already involved in and I’m asking myself – is this opportunity WORTH fitting into my life? Either cramming it into an already packed life OR by saying NO to something else. WORTH is relatively defined.
I’m also going to evaluate my list of activities with this question – is this WORTH doing?
Second – as a leader – I want to make sure I define WORTH like God has defined WORTH. This is a love, live and serve opportunity. This is a Great Commandment/Great Commission opportunity.
My job as a leader is NOT to guilt people into showing up or participating. That won’t last and it’s not of God. My job is to be a champion of what God is doing. To point out the already there eternal value and worth of the opportunity.
Quick Exercise #3 – Take a ministry you are in and walk thru 3 circles answering key questions.
Example: Men’s Fraternity
Circle 1 – focus is to disciple men into being spiritual leaders who love, live and serve. YES, worth it.
Circle 2 – Need a key PROVEN leader for director/champion position. Same vision, passion for discipleship. Deep Christ-follower, self-starter, available to do it, teachable, high character, honest, not perfect, vulnerable.
Found the guy – now ready to start.
Circle 3 — Process proven to work
Other churches have their trophies, we don’t…yet. We have process we want to try, run with it and evaluate as we go.
Nor do we have a process to replace Director…yet. We will need to address this if this is going to make it beyond just one season. Every ministry needs to wrestle with that question otherwise focus becomes the program and filling slots.
4 Foundational Multiplication Principles
1. Make micro decisions with macro viewpoint of does this advance God’s Kingdom?
2. Call people NORTH. Even yourself.
Ask more of people than where they are. Don’t ever demand more of those around you than yourself. Keep Love, Live, Serve in the forefront.
3. Something is better than nothing.
It’s easier to steer than start. GO! Starting somewhere and changing it later is better than doing nothing until you have the perfect plan. We know what doing nothing produces – nothing.
4. Invest in PEOPLE, not the program.
Programs have shelf life. Our job isn’t to keep the program running. Our calling is to make disciples who love, live, and serve.
Open Questions, Comments, and Thoughts
Which circle should we start with? Depends. All three need to be developed and dealt with but program and condition of culture will have a HUGE role in determining which circle to tackle first.
Key entry points into ministries is PEOPLE (relationship) and MINISTRY (program) but long term investment will only happen if all three are developed.
PROCESS is the most neglected circle in most churches. They spend time and energy running around to fill slots instead of developing people. Must change in order to be a multiplying church.
Live Connected
May 18, 2011 – 11:40 am
This originally appeared on whillschurch.org as a weekly devo.
Part 4 of Vision Devo series.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Live Connected is perhaps the most difficult of the three (love, live, and serve). It’s the easiest to misunderstand and hardest to actually do.
There are two common misunderstandings of what “live connected” means. The first is a small group dedicated to the gaining of knowledge. Bible study, Sunday school, and most small groups are of this variety. We study the scriptures, we look and listen for insights and we will talk about how it COULD apply in real life. The other misunderstanding is a group dedicated to accomplishing a task. Ministry teams – youth, children, worship, tech team – any group that has an event or specific task to accomplish.
It’s possible to live connected with each of these two groups but most of the time it doesn’t happen. Why? Because to live connected is messy. It’s allowing other people access to our lives in a way that gives them the right and responsibility to speak truth to us and to love on us for the purpose of life change, to look more like Jesus. That’s the key difference between live connected and just a bible study or serving together. Life change, vulnerability, authenticity – these are necessary for live connected.
Take a look at your current small group experience. Is the purpose of that group life change? To challenge and love each other towards Christ-likeness? Or is it just the pursuit of more Bible knowledge? Or the accomplishment of a task? There’s nothing WRONG with those two other options. It’s just that those alone will not result in life change.
Why is live connected even necessary? Because we won’t naturally strive for life change on our own…at least long term. We need encouragement, a model, and even accountability for this to happen. We can’t “love our neighbor as ourselves” without others. Jesus modeled this for us.
It’s part of our mantra because we know that it will be impossible for us to be who God wants us to be without the ministry of others in our life. Impossible.
I’m Back…And Nationwide
January 4, 2011 – 5:43 pm
You can’t really go wrong with a ZZ Top reference to start the year.
This year, the Church Council is getting focused on answering the questions – what does a spiritual leader look like and HOW do we become that, how do we model that, how do we reproduce that, celebrate that, and empower that? If we are going to be a Love, Live, Serve church that impacts our city (and beyond) it’s crucial we know and become deeper servant leaders. Can’t reproduce what you aren’t, right?
So this morning was our first gathering attempting to seek God’s answers to this question. We meet twice a month, once solely for study and prayer, the second for study and decisions. Here are most of the thoughts that hit the floor this morning.
I put them out here for a couple of reasons. First, I want our congregation to know that leadership is more than just making decisions and meeting once a month. At least it’s more than that here. It’s about character development, it’s about creating a culture where God gets the last word. It’s having the audacity to say “I don’t know, I need some clarity from God on this.” Second reason is often times the journey is just as important as the destination.
At some point in this coming year, we will have some answers to those questions. And those answers will drive us to the next step at Western Hills in what we do in reproducing spiritual leaders. Those answers will define what programs we do and don’t do, what projects we tackle and which ones we pass on. But for now — we’re seeking, we’re listening. And that’s okay…and that kind of discipline is best done in community.
So consider this an invitation to listen with us.
Tuesday, January 4, 7:00 am
Opening Question:
What is a spiritual leader? What does he/she look like? What scriptures help form this kind of person?
1 Peter 3:1 - Wives submit to your husbands. (This was given by a woman around the table, by the way.)
“There is a need for us to understand the goodness of submission, especially submission to Jesus. We submit because He loves us, He leads us. He wants best for us. Submission is at the heart of servant leaders.”
“Not compartmentalized in their understanding of God.”
“Faithful in small things.”
“Can hold the paradoxes of our faith humbly. Truth AND grace.”
Galatians 2:20
“Famous first part of verse most of us know — it is not I that I live but Christ in me. Larger focus needs to shift to second half of verse – the life I NOW live, I live by FAITH in the Son who loves me and gave Himself for me.”
What do we do with those people who see and hear the truth of deeper spiritual waters but won’t go there? Not the people who CAN’T go there – because of hurt and need healing. But rather those that willfully say – “No, don’t want any of that kind of Jesus?”
How do we get people to the place of maturity in Christ?
What are the gauges for us to know if we are heading in the right direction?
What thermometers are there for us to let us know if we are doing this right?
Do we know where that place is well enough to start with? If we can’t answer the WHAT, it doesn’t matter how we answer the HOW.
Most people are sick of church, tired of church. Is it possible to be a spiritual leader without the Church?
GE: This is a question we need to return to again. Lots of implications in this question…
Colossians 4:1-6
Spiritual leaders pray and seek for the opportunities to speak about the ‘mystery’ of God wherever they are. They church where ever they find themselves.
What scriptures have formative power over us? What scriptures have challenged us to change and be better people and leaders?
GE’s thoughts:
This is a starting point. We have to be able to answer the WHAT question before the HOW. What are we trying to reproduce in the life of another believer? This is by no means a final answer but a starting point for us as we seek to articulate God’s grid for Western Hills and what it means to be a spiritual leader here.
Being a spiritual leader is multi-faceted to be sure. There are some skills and competencies that I’d like to see but the baseline is character. The stuff that is harder to see and evaluate. Paul gives his list in Ephesians.
Ephesians 4:1-6
Walk in a manner that is worthy of the calling….
7 key thoughts of what it means to walk worthy of the calling…
1. humility – self-explanatory, not self-serving, not false humility
2. gentleness – the lack of an edge with people. There is no way to get around the stumbling block of Jesus. Just let that block be Jesus, not my personality.
3. patience – Am I as long suffering with others as I pray God to be with me?
4. accepting with love – everybody has baggage. love them anyway, in spite of their junk.
5. diligent about unity of Body – diligence not about status quo but unity and….
6. Unity is based on Christ – not on traditions, programs, my ego, etc.
7. lives with knowledge that God is in all, around all – non-compartmentalized
Great starting point…more to come.
Trumpet Practice and Reason #30 of Why I’m In A Life Group
November 30, 2010 – 12:27 am
Camber is learning the trumpet. She’s very good at it…considering that she’s only been playing since August. She comes home every afternoon and practices. She’ll do her scales, she’ll warm up, then she’ll tackle her music.
And I’ve been impressed with the progress. Yes, those first few practices she sounded like a harpooned whale on life support in an Seinfeld episode. But she kept blowing that horn and now – she’s good. I can recognize the tunes. And they are in time. And she likes playing.
But having a trumpet player in the family means that the whole family is committed to the process. You don’t secretly practice the trumpet. It doesn’t happen. We don’t have to ask Camber if she’s practiced her trumpet. We know. When she is about to start, she walks through the house warning us – “I’m about to rattle the roof with the awesomeness of the brass horn!”
And the more she practices, the more enjoyable it is. For us all.
This is the idea behind Life Groups. We know if someone is practicing because we’re around. We see it. We hear it. We experience it with them. It’s the idea of practicing our serve or other spiritual discipline. It’s awkward at first but the more we practice, the more enjoyable it is for us all.
And because life-change is a public thing, we see and hear and taste and know the difference. It’s obvious. And we want to celebrate it when it happens well.
Just another reason.
Reasons 14-29 of Why I Am In A Life Group
October 26, 2010 – 1:48 pm
You can check out the first 13 reasons if you missed them. After that conversation, I’ve been asking folks the same question when I remember. Here are more of the answers.
14. I know I have others praying for me.
15. And with me.
16. My kids get to have cool friends.
17. My older kids get to learn how to serve younger kids.
18. I don’t have to pretend to be okay with these people.
19. Finally found another adult to play Halo with. (names are withheld to protect the guilty.)
20. Gives my kids access to other adult believers.
21. I’m learning to be a better parent.
22. I’m learning to be a better spouse.
23. I feel more connected to God.
24. I have free emergency baby-sitters.
25. I now know how to pray to God.
26. I know someone I can borrow power tools from.
27. It’s where I can learn about Jesus without all the big, churchy words.
28. I feel more connected on Sunday morning.
There aren’t too many situations more intimidating than walking into a room full of people and not knowing the name of single person. It’s like that dream of showing up at school with nothing on but your underwear. And don’t lie to me either, we’ve all had it. That feeling of being exposed, vulnerable. HATE IT!! I had a friend tell me this week that looking for a church home was harder than finding a home to live in.
A Life Group is huge in bridging this gap on Sunday morning. It’s going to be difficult to feel connected without deep, meaningful relationships. A Life Group is THE way to develop these kinds of relationships.
And it doesn’t have to always be serious stuff. I know a life group that is going to carve jack-o-lanterns together this weekend.
Reason #29 – Learn how to carve a pumpkin.
Reasons 1 thru 13 of Why I Am In A Life Group
October 13, 2010 – 3:32 pm
It’s easy to assume that the reason we are in a life group is because I’m a pastor and that’s what pastor families do…or at least supposed to do. Honestly, it’s not even a factor at all. “I’m not just the president for Hair Club for Men, I’m a client!” Life groups have been a part of our lives before I was a pastor.
Why don’t most people ever get involved in a life group? Basically, I’ve heard of 4 reasons.
1. I’m too busy/tired.
2. I’m a private person.
3. My life is a complete train wreck right now and I don’t want anyone else to know it.
4. I don’t want to deal with other people’s train wrecked life.
Not all of them are bad reasons.
But I wonder if they have ever stopped to list the reasons they SHOULD join a life group? I started making a list with a buddy of mine this week. He was in the middle of telling me about his life group. Here’s what I jotted down just in his 5 minutes of telling me about his life group.
1. I have friends closer than family.
2. Every one needs a safe place to get a good cry in every now and then.
3. I get to see people healed.
4. It gets me downtown. (They serve once a month at the Topeka Rescue Mission.)
5. You can never have to many good recipes.
6. I get more hugs now than in my previously 50 plus years of living.
7. I get to help people move. (I personally think this should go on the other list. But hey…)
8. Free snacks.
9. Our house is being used to serve God.
10. We serve together as a family.
11. I don’t have another place to ask questions about spiritual matters.
12. Get to help raise other people’s kids and vice versa.
13. I give hope to younger parents that they are not in this alone.
Five minutes of conversation – 13 reasons. There was barely a pause.
Raising three kids of my own, I resonate with reason #13. There are days when I think there is no way I’ll ever be sane or cool or normal again. I know – some of you are wondering was I ever sane, cool, or normal. But that’s not the point.
The point is this – living connected in community is the key difference between a REAL life group and just a group of people getting together to study the Scriptures. I already know more scripture than I can apply. I need the community. The community makes me a better dad, husband, leader, and overall person. I need the community because by myself, I lose perspective. I need the community because raising kids is crazy hard. And I don’t know all that I need to know.
And in light of that, those other 4 reasons don’t seem so huge.
Stepping In The Jordan
September 15, 2010 – 3:15 pm
Joshua 3:5
Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.”
This past Sunday, I told our congregation about what God had been saying to us as staff and council of the last few months. If you didn’t hear the message — go here now and listen to it. Basically, over the last 9 months we think God has revealed the WHAT and the WHO but not the HOW…and He’s not going to reveal the HOW until we’re obedient with what He’s already told us. And the story of Joshua keeps ringing in my mind….
I do expect God to do great things. I do expect the days ahead are better than the days behind. I know the Lord is still in the miracle business and pray to that end. I think the team and people that He is bringing together at Western Hills is setting the church up for success for the next decade or longer.
But I’m pretty sure that I missed those first two words that Joshua said for the better part of my life — Consecrate yourself.
consecrate – the solemn dedication to a special purpose or service, usually religious, to associate with the sacred.
Get ready, get oriented around God again, remember your purpose, remember the point.
This hit me this week — where do spend most of my prayer time? If you listened to me long enough and didn’t know God better, you’d probably think God is incredibly reluctant to bless me or the people around me. Nothing could be further from the truth but think about how much time we spend begging God to show up and show off, pull another miracle out of the hat compared to how much time we spend consecrating ourselves to Him.
It doesn’t even compare, does it? Yet – God tells them to get ready. “I’ve proven my character, time for you to prove yours because I’m about to do something amazing amongst you.”
How do we do that, though? What does that look like? How do we consecrate ourselves for the work of God in our work or school or home? What does stepping in the Jordan look like for us at Western Hills?
Understand the awesomeness of the situation. Joshua didn’t have to convince the people that while they had God’s promise, they also had a significant barrier in seeing that promise fulfilled. It was staring them right in the face – the Jordan river at flood stage plus fortified cities waiting to fight them. In spite of obstacles, they were able to see God as bigger, stronger, and higher.
For us, the economy is a significant barrier. With giving at 15% below budget, we will need a significant increase in giving for this to work into 2011. But we can’t deny the incredible opportunity to develop spiritual leaders, the harvest God is bringing to us, and the community we have to BE the church for. It’s an awesome situation.
Understand God wants to bless His people. He wants to bless all people in all places with the ultimate blessing – Himself. He wants to bless us with His presence, with answered prayers, with changed lives. And that’s the mission we are chasing. So our direction is right.
Starts with a new rhythm of worship. The Hebrews had a history of taking God for granted, becoming ritualistic and hollow in their worship, and at times ignoring God altogether. The reminder to consecrate themselves is a command to not get complacent in our journey with God.
It’s why we use the mantra – Love God, Live Connected, and Serve All at Western Hills. To remind us that worship is more than just music and teaching on Sunday but a lifestyle that manifests care and blessing to others, that serves beyond ourselves.
I encourage you this month to find a new rhythm of worship, to consecrate yourself for this journey ahead of us. For some of us that is going to mean finding other people to connect with and do life with. For others, serving at the Rescue Mission or McCarter for the first time. For some of us, it may mean getting in the rhythm of giving a portion of our income back to God for the first time.
Can’t wait to get our feet wet.
Reggie McNeal and the Future of Church
September 15, 2010 – 9:39 am
I had the incredible honor of listening to Reggie talk yesterday. I’ve read his books, I’ve heard him multiple times – he never gets old. It’s like listening to Yoda…and he’s about that same height. My favorite quotes from yesterday.
Being missional starts with the understanding that Christianity is not a western philosophy but an encounter with the real person of Jesus.
I’m not here to help you do church better. I’m here to challenge you to BE the church FOR your community, not just IN your community.
The Church, not A church. When people say “a church” they reveal that they don’t get it. We are THE church. We church wherever we go.
Missional Church is a redundant term.
Missional is simply the people of God partnering with Him in His redemptive mission in the world. He is already at work, we are to be a people of blessing in that work.
The Church is a people of blessing. This mission predates the church because blessing is the character of God himself. See Genesis 12.
How can we practice being the church? Start asking “how can we be a people of blessing?” How can we bless at our jobs, schools, clubs, social circles, city, community?
Every church ought to have at least one school they have adopted. Showing up at a school once a year to paint the playground is NOT a partnership. Pray for those teachers, provide school supplies, ask them – “what do you need to help you overcome the obstacles that you are facing?”
The problems of our community first manifest themselves in our schools.
We aren’t the point. The Church isn’t the point. Thinking the point is the church is like thinking the airport is the point of travel. We go to places and the airport is the means to the ends. It’s a vital part of our journey but the journey isn’t about spending time in the airport. The Airport is a tool. Same for church – she is a connector to real LIFE and Kingdom.
One of the largest obstacles we face in the West is the Outsource Mindset. We outsource everything – car maintenance, lawn mowing, education and even spiritual formation. Program based churches feed this monster. What is needed is more people-development, more life on life, as we go, in the middle of life church.
The Silence of God
August 20, 2010 – 2:51 pm
Had a friend confide in me this:
People keep talking about how our prayers aren’t answered because we don’t pray correctly. I get exasperated at that notion. Are there set rules for how you approach a deity? I understand that “oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz” is probably not what prayer is all about. AND I know James speaks about not being double minded when we pray. But I find it hard to believe that when I pray about something that appears to go unanswered (or not answered in the way I would like it to be) that this is due to my not speaking the right words in the right way. I think that unanswered prayer has more to due with the differences in our perspective as opposed to God’s perspective.
My first thought is this – all prayer is answered. All. It’s either a yes, no, or wait. Having said that, it doesn’t make the silence of God any easier to understand. I remember as a kid asking for something and the worse possible answer you could get was “wait” or “not now.” The. Absolute. Worst. Answer. Ever.
Wait is ambiguity at its best. Wait tests to the core the true character of who I am…and the failure rate is at times alarming. Wait is that sick feeling at the top of the roller coaster in between the climb and when the bottom falls out from underneath you. Looking back — it’s a split second. In that moment — it’s an eternity. Wait. Not now.
What would happen in that split second at the top of the coaster if I decided I was tired of waiting and did something about it? Like — get out of the coaster. Unhooked the safety harness? Unpacked a sandwiched and a drink to stay for a while? It’s ridiculous to think like that, isn’t it? The impatience would get you killed. The complacency would get you messy. The only response that makes sense in that moment is readiness…just be ready. Do what you know to do — which on a coaster is raise up your hands and scream like a little girl.
Real life is that coaster – our life is but a vapor – about the length of a coaster ride. And I’m not trying to diminish the moment between the climb and drop. There is real hurt, frustration, confusion, and anguish in those moments. But that just further amplifies what God says to us — BE STILL and KNOW. Don’t get ahead, don’t lag behind. Be ready. Wait. Be still. It’s not a ‘unpack the lunch, pitch the tent’ kind of wait. It’s not a run ahead of God kind of wait. It’s a wait kind of wait. Active, ready, stillness wait.
Stillness is different than complacency. But that might just be another post.
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