This originally appeared as a weekly evo for Western Hills.

I don’t particularly enjoy hospitals. I think I can actually feel the germs crawl on me when I enter the hospital. Those little cans on the wall for hand sanitizer? I run from canister to canister, treating them like dispensers of hope. The foam reminds me of whip cream and instantly takes me to a happy place.

I’m also pretty much the world’s worst small-talker. I’m not anti-small-talk. I know that it is often necessary to go through the small-talk to get to the big stuff. I just wish I was better at it.

And then of course are the feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. How many times have I heard the doctor’s report and just cringed, knowing there wasn’t a thing I could do for them?

All of this can make a trip to the hospital incredibly awkward and exhausting.

However, I’m pretty sure none of that really matters. I’m learning that whatever awkwardness I’m feeling, the folks I’m seeing are oblivious to. They are consumed by something much larger and more important at the moment: that huge STOP sign that life has just thrown in the middle of their world.

Cancer, surgery, sickness, pain, disease – it comes in many different names but with the same stunning result. It has the power to stop everything else that we THOUGHT was so important moments before. It can be the wake-up call for some, the valley of the shadow of death for others.

All of this can make a trip to the hospital an altar moment.

It doesn’t always happen this way, but sometimes that room becomes an altar. Not the false god/idol kind of altar but an Abraham kind of altar. A marker to remember the faithfulness of God. Could be a healing, could be a moment of insight and change. Could be a surrender point. I’ve seen it be a place of reconciliation for wounds long suffered. At times it’s a homecoming, the kind that those of us on earth have to mourn through.

A place of deep, profound worship
Ironically enough, these are the moments I enjoy. “Enjoy” isn’t exactly the word I’m looking for. The moment itself is normally not very fun or enjoyable at all. It does have profound meaning, though. Full of raw, unvarnished emotion and heart. There is no mask of “I’m okay” nor the comfortable distractions of grocery lists or bills or errands. It’s just them and God.

When I get to be in these moments, there is joy. Not the cheerleader, rah-rah joy. That’s not joy anyway. But a “in-the-now” sense of peace. Not that everything will be alright but that everything will be with Him.

It’s hard to explain, maybe impossible. But it’s real and probably it was that kind of experience that inspired David to write Psalm 34:18.

God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Amy and I have been guilty of using time-share companies for a free weekend or two. Have you had the experience yet? They put you up in this great place for the weekend with some free meals or tickets to some show. In return you agree to sit through a “short” presentation.

Short is a relative term. Most of these presentations take anywhere from an hour to 90 minutes – most of it is full of the cheesy, cringing kind of self-promotion that just makes you want to throw up. It makes me wonder how few people actually stop and ask the question – if this is such a great deal, how come more people aren’t doing it? And why are you selling so hard?

The first couple of times we did it, it was easy to say no because we didn’t have any money. Easy peasy. We’d smile, nod, agree, drink the free cokes and walk out.

I have a buddy who went through one of these weekends. He calls me and says “Have you heard of this concept of time-share?” I asked him if he had stopped taking his medication.

“No, no, no…I didn’t buy one but these guys are incredible salesmen. I almost bought one!”

I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. He was one of the most successful businessmen I’d ever known. He was an incredible salesmen himself. I asked him “Are you serious? Did you really almost buy a time-share?”

He tells me the story…

“My wife and I get to the resort and it’s incredible, the nicest place we’ve ever been (it’s in Mexico somewhere). I start doing the math on vacations or vacation homes and it’s close to being a viable way to do vacations every year. And I thought – we could totally do this. A free place to stay for our families every year for vacation!”

I paused. I didn’t know how to ask my question without it getting completely awkward.

“So….you said….”we.” What does that mean?”

He kept talking…”I mean they totally get you if you change locations and want to trade your points to another place…” He talks in some kind of coded language that sounds like English but isn’t really English for the next 5 minutes. What I get out of it was basically this – you could get a different location but you’d have to pay the difference. How they knew what that was sounded complicated. Actually, it wasn’t complicated. Just figure you always have the lesser value and you have to pay the difference.

I ventured my question a bit more direction this time…

“Bro (I always called him ‘bro’ when I was annoyed with him), you said ‘we.’ Are you trying to sell me a time-share with money I don’t have and your big pitch to me is that I have to take vacation with you and your family every year? Because I gotta tell you — I love you and all but just not seeing that happening.”

“Dude — (he always called me DUDE when he was annoyed with me) you’re not listening. Wait for the whole story.”

He kept talking…

“So this salesman keeps selling the property to us and the program. The numbers add up, they make sense. I’m just nodding because even though I’m not buying one – I like this guys style and I can see how people would just fall over this. He gives his big ask and I look at him and I say – ‘Not interested.’ The salesman – like all good ones – still has a couple of pitches left.

He asks me – ‘tell me sir, you work hard. You earn your money, you deserve it. How else are you going to spend your time and your money?’

“Grant — I was floored. I was completely blown away. I couldn’t even take that kind of shot. I start crying right there in the stupid cubicle with the plastic pictures of timeshares with my wife. I mean the blubbering, slobber kind of crying. I can’t stop it.”

I very confused at this point. “So….you did buy a timeshare??”

“DUDE!! Did you hear the question the salesman asked? I mean did you really, really HEAR it? It’s a test question and I’m done failing it in my life.”

Long silence. “Bro, I’m going to level with you. I’m totally in the dark as to WHAT IN THE WORLD YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!”

“Grant — it might be my time, but it’s a gift from God. It’s his gift to me to do with what I want BUT…it’s still a gift from God. It isn’t my money. It’s God’s money. He provides. I’m a steward of that money. When that guy asked me that question – how else are you going to spend your time and your money it was like the Lord was asking me the same question. I was hitting a wall in my walk with Jesus, just kind of getting distracted and discouraged and who knew that Jesus would show up on my vacation and wake me by trying to sell me a time-share.”

My buddy loved the Lord, he’d given more money to missions and the church than I probably would ever make. He’d traveled the world telling others about Jesus, he’d volunteered with youth ministry for years. I’d put him on my top 5 Godly Men List OF All Time. I had no idea he was going through all of that but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to correct some bad theology.

“Bro – I don’t think Jesus was trying to sell you a time-share to wake you up. He may have used that but – ”

My friend interrupted me – “No, Grant. You are wrong. Jesus in fact DID try to sell me a time-share. That was the salesman’s name. I only noticed it at the end when he started pushing with the “your time” and “your money” comment. Is that not the most craziest thing ever???”

It’s up there. And I still have that lesson in my life — it’s my time as a gift, it’s his money on loan.

For the Kingdom.

This originally appeared as a weekly devo on whillschurch.org

There is a running joke at Western Hills – Grant is a good hand to have on a job. He can turn any 2 hour job into an all day job. I’ve also been asked if I have brought my Barbie tools from time to time. To be fair – I have a very nice 18 volt drill and saw. Plus two circular saws and even a jigsaw. I’m fairly adept at minor fixes and major demolition. I don’t have a table saw or a chain saw for reasons that will remain unsaid. I’m a quick study.

But every time I see Shane Koci’s toolbag or Terry Randall’s toolkit – it is painfully obvious that in the world of tools – I am Fisher Price, they are Craftsmen.

It’s not just they have more tools than I do…the tools they have are infinitely better than mine. They’ve had a lifetime to build that up. And when they buy a tool, they buy the best. And they know how to use those tools. We’ve been major blessed by their skills and knowledge of these tools. Watching these guys work, I want to be good like that at fixing things.

Ever been around someone like that?

That’s exactly the thinking behind our equipping classes that start this Sunday. We’ve been talking for over a month about the new change at Western Hills, new service times (8.30 and 11 am), and how this is a temporary fix buying us time until we can move down to the gym, and how the north side of our campus will now become all children and youth.

But one of the HUGE benefits to the changes are these equipping classes. It’s like being taught on a certain topic by someone who has an incredible tool kit in that area. And these classes give us an opportunity to improve our tool kits.

Life groups are core to who we are and who we want to be at Western Hills. We say it all the time – you won’t feel connected until you are in a life group because you aren’t connected. Life groups are the central life change, spiritual transformation agent of the church. It’s where we learn to apply and encourage and live out what we are learning in the scriptures. It’s where we serve all.

BUT we also need a place to get the basics of spirituality. There are times when we need focused attention on a specific topic with the help of an experienced “craftsman.” We need these times of learning (equipping class) so that we can then go to the lab (life group) to test it out.

I’m super excited about these classes. We’ll be offering new ones in another 8 weeks, some we will be repeating in case you missed the first offering.

But the equipping classes offer an unique opportunity to add some tools to your toolbelt in a way that a worship service or just a life group could never do.

Now, I’m off to the hardware store to work on my sin of envy.

This originally appeared as the weekly devo on whillschurch.org.

I wish I could say that Whitney Houston’s death came as a surprise. When the news broke, I thought to myself – this is going to play out with typical Hollywood shallowness. Sure enough, the Grammys became part love-fest for Whitney. I wonder how many of those people really liked her. Just the night before, Whitney was escorted away from a party due to her own abrasiveness.

The real tragedy in Whitney Houston is we have seen this before, we will see this again. An artist or star who blows us away with their craft and their talents, all the while on the inside they are slowly decaying. They have this sense of longing or inadequacy that needs to be fulfilled. They are not limited in their resources in searching for this something to fulfill this void in their life. No matter how many movies they make, hit songs they sing, or famous they get, that empty void still haunts them. Since they are not limited by resources, they will try anything to fill this void – sex, drugs, cars, houses, charity, business. And for some of them, the search will kill them.

Whitney Houston’s voice was unmatched. Her rendition of the national anthem for Super Bowl XXV in 1991 will leave you speechless. In fact, I think they should just play this version from now on, I doubt any artist will ever come close to matching that performance.

As pure as her voice was, what was going on inside her wasn’t. She shocked the world with her marriage to bad boy Bobby Brown. She shocked us again by telling us she wasn’t all that different from him. Then their reality tv show removed all doubt that the Whitney image of the 80s was just that – an image. Her rocky marriage, the drug and alcohol abuse, and the violence just made most of us extremely sad for her.

And Jesus loved her.

Houston always said that was her favorite song – Jesus loves me. Despite the profane lifestyle, the failures and the escapades – she consistently said that “Jesus Loves Me” was her favorite song.

Why couldn’t she grasp that in a deeper way that translated into a different lifestyle? The same reason so many of us can’t. It is difficult to see Jesus among the deadly distractions this life has to offer. My distractions may not be prescription pain killers or alcohol, but I’ve got them. And so do you if you are honest with yourself.

One conversation my kids and I constantly have when an artist comes on tv and mentions God is – “So you think he’s a Christian? You think she’s a Christian?”

It breaks a parent’s heart to tell their kid that their hero or favorite artist is just a broken, messed up person trying to figure out life. The only difference is they have the money to make some really, really bad mistakes that last forever. But if the music and entertainment industry has taught us anything – that is it. Fallen, messed up people are fallen, messed up people no matter what their income is.

And one of Houston’s songs seems to sum it up fairly well – Didn’t We Almost Have It All? Almost is still NOT having it all. Houston’s distractions cost her life. For whatever reasons, it never seemed she allowed Jesus to have the last word in her life. It’s easy to see this in her life, harder to see it in our own. But are our distractions of kids or marriage or success or titles or houses or money any less deadly? Is our obsession with our own happiness any different than Houston’s?

Scale – maybe. The question is still valid for us all – What does it profit a person to gain the whole world but lose his soul?

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. (John 6:35 NIV)

This originally appeared as a weekly devo for whillschurch.org.

This has been one heck of week for our family. My ongoing battle with the pinched nerve in my neck has sort hit a stand still. I got better but I still have sporadic shots of pain down my arm depending on what position I get my neck in. I haven’t been able to play basketball in over a month and my exercise plan has sort been non-existant.

So the doctor ordered an MRI. Easy peasy, right?

I’m not claustrophobic. So the idea of laying down in huge magnetic coffin isn’t all that terrifying to me. The problem is they lie me flat on my back, strap my head down on the board exactly in the position where that nerve is pinched and it sends this flaming stream of pain down my right arm.

The pain was intense. Couldn’t finish it. Tried it again yesterday with some hydrocodone — lasted all of 5 minutes when the tech said – “This isn’t going to work.”

So today, we upped it to Valium. The last time I took Valium…well the nurse said I was extremely funny and ought to think about a career in public speaking. And that was how I got started in ministry…

In fact, I’m starting to feel the effects right now as I type this. jfkla;sdifq9′j’m3ic Just kidding…sort of.

Yet for all the bravado and macho talk, I hate pain. I realize that most of us do…

More to come after the Valium wears off…

LATER: The valium didn’t work. Well…it sort of worked. It made me sick at my stomach and groggy but could not cut through that pain once I got on the table. So now they are going to schedule me for an IV sedation. I’m not confident this will work either but hey…

My point? My point is that we spend an inordinate amount of time avoiding pain. A friend of mine told me yesterday (he just got done with a knee surgery) that pain was God’s way of reminding us that we are still alive. As we talked, we joked that between the two of us there was one whole, healthy person. We enjoyed a good laugh but he reminded me of another famous person’s perspective on pain.

C.S. Lewis said “Pain is God’s megaphone.”

Pain is inevitable. It has been that way since Genesis 3. I don’t believe that all pain is God’s fault but I do believe that he USES all pain. That’s the subtle message of Romans 8:28 – ALL things work for good…, not all things ARE good.

So the real question for the Christ follower in the middle of their pain is this – what good is God going to work out in all of this? Hard question to deal with at times because not all pain is equal. But…all pain is painful.

In a few weeks (after the Go! series) we will start a series called Beyond Pain. We’ll get to explore these kinds of questions and more by studying how some of heroes in scripture dealt with pain. Some of the insights are going to be very, very surprising. We’re going to see that God Himself is not immune to pain.

In the meantime…hang in there. And find a friend to laugh with.