the    sides

I have read quite a few books this summer — at some point, I’ll do quick reviews on them all but this one deserves its own post. Nathan Foster is the son of world famous author Richard Foster (Celebration of Discipline, Streams of Living Water). The subtitle of the book really tells the arch of the story – Finding my Father at 14,000 feet.

Being from Colorado, I read with delicious envy his descriptions of Long’s Peak, Mount of the Holy Cross, Mount Quandry, and other adventures in the Rocky Mountains. What ambushed me about the story was the relationship mess that Nathan and Richard had and how something as simple (and dangerous) as climbing a mountain could be the tool God used to heal that mess.

There is nothing more complicated, precious, and delicate than a father-son relationship. As sons we expect our dads to be better than what they really are. As dads we hope our sons don’t find out how clueless we are at parenting. Nathan exposes this reality in a tender, humorous, honest way. And in the midst of figuring out their own relationship, they both teach the rest of us something important about the human condition and the relationships we hold as sacred.

For Nathan – the risk of the ask, the risk of trusting, and the risk of pushing deeper. I’ll let the book fill in how each of those risks looked like.

For Richard – the grace of forgiveness, the humility of being truly humble, and quiet desperation of loving a son enough to do something he’d never thought he’d do.

There is much in each person to relate to and I have a feeling I’ll come back to this book again.

Here is the text of what I said on Saturday at Nick’s funeral.

On behalf of the family, I’d like to welcome members of the Auburn community, the Washburn-Rural High School community, the WARU Marching Band, and other family and friends of Nick here today. We’re here today to share in the loss of Nick.

Death is always hard to deal with. Death of a life so young, with so much promise is even more difficult. So we’re here today stunned and hurting. The questions are many on a day like today. We wonder — why? what if? Is God here? Does He care? Does He even exist?

And it’s okay to ask those questions. And one day – we might even find some answers. But that’s not why we are here today. Today isn’t about answering those questions because no answer is going to remove or lessen the pain and loss we feel.

Today is about grieving. But today is also about hope and celebrating life as well.

Psalm 34:18 says this —

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

There isn’t a better description of what we’ve experienced these past few days – brokenhearted & crushed.

There’s a temptation to ignore these kinds of words in times of pain because so many times they are spoken by well-meaning people who don’t really understand what you’re going through. But the man who wrote these words did understand. His name was David and he was the second King of Israel. Even though he was a king, his life was marked with brokenness and loss.

As a young boy, he watched his older brothers go off to war. He watched many of his friends die in that war. His best friend would be killed as a teenager. As he grew older and had a family – one of his sons was murdered. Another of his sons was killed in war. And he would lose a third son in infancy. David knew to the core what it meant to be brokenhearted and crushed in spirit.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

How could he say those words? Could he really believe that?

I don’t think David had figured out the problem of evil and suffering. I don’t think David ever got all of his questions answered. I do think David knew 3 truths that allowed him to say these words.

First, God is not immune to pain. God himself had to endure the pain of being broken and crushed Himself. Losing Jesus, His Son. Wrongly accused at a young age. Beaten and crucified on the cross. The earth that day reflected God’s pain in darkness. God speaks of this anguish in scripture.

So we weep and mourn today. The pain is deep and real and sharp. But know that we don’t weep alone. Not only is there a whole community that is weeping with you, God himself has experienced this same kind of loss. And He is close to the broken-hearted and crushed.

Second, God doesn’t waste pain. I can’t understand fully why God allows pain. I’m not comfortable blaming God – I’m not comfortable defending Him either. There is much I don’t understand and am ill-prepared to speak about. I do know that pain – in God’s economy – is never wasted. He will use that pain to heal, to move us to action, to get our attention, to change us. Time will tell how this pain will be used.

When God experienced the pain of losing his own son, it was the beginning of hope for the entire world. Death had had the final word on humanity for years, no one had ever faced death and won. Someone had to defeat Death and it could only be someone who had lived perfectly, with no sin. Jesus was the only One who could do this but he would have to die first. So the pain God experienced in losing Jesus was great – it wasn’t wasted. It became the doorway of hope.

So weep and mourn today. The pain is deep and sharp. But we do not do so in vain. One day — not today, probably not tomorrow — but one day we’ll see how God will use this pain.

The last truth David knew that allowed him to say these words is – since God himself understands pain AND He doesn’t waste it – that makes Him the greatest resource of hope and healing.

Listen to these words again —

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Listen to what else David wrote in the same 34th Psalm:

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

This man who had all of that pain and loss, the broken heart, the crushed in spirit — knew that his best resource of hope, his greatest resource of healing was the Lord, himself. I sought the Lord…

One of the most frustrating characteristics of God is His silence – especially in the middle of tragedies. But one of the most comforting characteristics of God is His presence – especially in the middle of tragedies.

It’s His presence through his son Jesus Christ that is the greatest resource of hope and healing. And it’s that presence I pray for you and your family and our community today.

Let’s pray.

?Heavenly Father,

We are before you today as a brokenhearted and crushed in spirit people. We hurt. We are confused. We are angry. We are tired. We are mourning.

We pray Psalm 34 today – Be close to us, the brokenhearted and crush. Answer us and deliver us. I pray the healing presence of Jesus for us today.

In Jesus name, AMEN.

Saturday will be brutal. I’m doing the funeral of a 14-year old boy named Nick. He died in a house fire on Tuesday, I met with the family this morning and will again tomorrow.

The pain is leaking out of every pore in their bodies. There is a 2 year old sister who can’t quite figure out where her older brother is. There is a mom and stepdad who are struggling to put the pieces together. There is a dad who is in a nightmare fog. There is a younger sister who mourns. There is a small community rocked to the core as well as a tight-knit group of teenagers in the marching band that wonders if the hurt will ever stop.

Raw. Tender. So many needs. So many questions.

God – show up. Just show up.

Brazil, then Middle School Super Summer, then High School Super Summer, then VBS, then we took a week off at my dad’s lake house.

Got back at 1.30 am this morning.

And school registration was today and getting clips ready for this Sunday – (Toy Story is our clip for this week, by the way).

And I’m so amped about the next month of ministry I could just EXPLODE!!!!! On August 15th, we are doing a baptismal service at Lake Sherwood and we are not only going to see double digits of people get dunked for Jesus but we are going to have ICE CREAM!!!!!!!

Anyway — just a quick post to say — I’m back. Will resume some writing this week.

Now off to youth then Wipeout.

Mike threw some pretty cool questions at me today about doing VBS at night. So I sauntered over to my children’s minister – Darci – and see what she had to say about the issue.

Why do we do VBS at night?

Darci: It’s really about our volunteers. We can get more volunteers at night than we can during the day. Dads can participate more, high school students as well.

How is it working out?

Darci: Just like any other VBS – except it’s at night. I’m sure some parents prefer the day but we actually do have quite a few that love the night VBS.

Do you like running it at night?

Darci: That’s a tricky question. There is a lot to cram into one evening. We shorten the time to 2 hours – combine some stations, keep things moving at a very quick pace. We alter the curriculum a bit to fit it all in BUT it all goes back to the volunteer issue. If we can’t get the volunteers during the day, then we couldn’t do any of it anyway.

At night, we can get more volunteers and more kids. It does make for a long day for our younger ones but it gives the kids something cool to do at night. They like staying up.

My two cents: I love it. There’s a neat energy and vibe to it. My only complaint is that we still don’t have a Wipeout course for it. I’m still asking for that and hopefully the children’s ministry will do that for us next year.

In the last 30 days, Western Hills has seen 39 people come to Jesus as their Lord and Savior. If that doesn’t just amp you up, you are dead. And VBS is going on right now!!

So that is just awesome…

I love VBS. The whole church looks like a ranch – hay, ropes, saddles. It’s so much fun. I love the decorations and the time and work our crew put into transforming our church to Saddle Ridge Ranch. The ‘set’ really does make the difference.

I love the laughter and the energy of the kids. It’s contagious and fun.

But there are two things about VBS that the best. Working with adults that you normally don’t work with AND the snacks. We’ve got a lot of new faces working VBS this year. It’s cool to get to know people while serving with them. I’ll post up some pics starting tomorrow night.

And the snacks. We’ve got the best snack crew I’ve ever been around. The last two years the snacks here have off the chain good. (Yes – I used the late ’90′s reference ‘off the chain.’)

Tonight we had Cow Pies which was chocolate and vanilla pudding with graham cracker crust plus whip cream. Oh. My. Gosh. Just a taste of awesomeness.

If you are in town – come join us, 6 to 8 pm at Western Hills.

Kurt left this comment last week –

How does the former youth pastor/present lead pastor come alongside the youth ministry without becoming a distraction?

I loved it when the lead pastor poked his head in on the students – whether that be during Bible study or a mid-week life group or a trip. I loved it because we can never have too many godly adults hanging around teenagers. I loved it because it hopefully connected the student to the larger church congregation, not just the youth group.

But I hear what Kurt is saying. And it’s a legitimate question.

My short answer – don’t show up on the trip as a former youth pastor or the current lead pastor. Show up as a volunteer, like everybody else.

This past week I went with our middle schoolers to Super Summer. Gina was the leader of the trip and she did an outstanding job. She was organized, she delegated responsibilities out to the team that went, me included. She kept us on task without being overbearing. She kept us informed and did a great job in our church group times.

And I loved every minute of it. First, it always amps me to see a volunteer lead, to take ownership of a ministry and lead it well. That volunteer is getting to use their gifts and hopefully casting a vision for others to do the same.

Second, it freed me up. I could be a friend, a pastor to the students. I wasn’t the heavy, I wasn’t the organizer, I didn’t have to be cool or “on” all the time. I didn’t have to have all the answers. I hung out with my guys, was available to counsel and talk when needed. In short, did all the things a volunteer would do.

A student can never have too many adults that love Jesus in their life. Never. And when I go on these trips, I want to be a help to the youth team and leaders, not a distraction. I also want that student to connect to the larger congregation as well.

Kurt – you are now in this position — what’s your take? Or anyone else for that matter…

“Is this safe?”

I replied “Safe enough.”

I could feel the awkwardness rise between us.

“Just keep running and enjoy the ride,” I told her as I double checked her harness.

She didn’t look comforted for some reason.

We were tackling the high ropes element Ready to Fly. Attached on one end of the rope are 5 people, on the other end is just 1. In between the ends is a pulley hung 30 feet in the air. The physics is simple – the 5 and 1 stand next to each other and take off running in opposite directions. An unequal force pulling in opposite directions does the rest. It’s quite a ride for the 1.

But it’s not 100% safe. It’s entirely possible to get hurt. Don’t harness up right, stop running right at the point of lift-off, the runners could stop running or forget to let you down gently. There are things that could go wrong. But it’s safe enough.

You realize how many other decisions we make with just enough info? Reading a book, buying a car, renting a movie, ordering Chinese, dating, marriage, having kids – how many decisions do we make without knowing 100% of the facts? It’s apparent that we really don’t need ALL the facts, just enough of them.

Given this reality, it makes conversations about God particularly interesting. We are never going to know all there is about God. Just like I’m never going to know all there is about Amy. But there is enough known to make a decision, to choose a course.

This Sunday I’ll attempt to unwrap what is “Enough.” See ya’ then.

Amy is at Super Summer this week and I’m sending her a daily email…of encouragement.

Tuesday is a long day.

I love you.