The rain is gone. (You can thank me later for getting that song stuck in your head. And it is stuck. Don’t lie to me.)

Here’s the million dollar question this morning. How do you create a culture where people development is priority, not so much the ‘running of the beast?’ How do you become a people-developing kind of church?

Empower and celebrate leaders who are people-developing kind of people. These are people who invest in other people for their betterment. Their homes and lives are accessible to those on the journey with them. These may OR may not be people who are great at running a program.

We’ve got a bunch of ladies that invade our church every Thursday morning. I’ve watched this group morph from being a Ladie’s Bible Study to a nap-mat sewing group for kindergartners at McCarter to Prayer Walkers for our missionaries in China. Almost every month there is some sort of outward, serve other activity they are doing. And just show up one morning and act like you don’t know how to sew or whatever it is they are doing. They will have you in there learning before you know what hit you. The leaders of this group are people-developing kinds of people.

Model people-development from the “top” down.
In our particular structure, the pastoral staff and council are the ‘top’ level of leadership. And we are starting to ask each other this question – who are you discipling? Who is discipling you? We can’t lead where we’re not willing to go. We can’t do what we’re not doing or at least willing to do. And no organization is immune to this – the organization will only rise to the level of leadership that is modeled at the top.

This is how leaders are made – in the messiness of life on life discipleship. And there is only two ways churches get leaders like this – they either make them OR they steal them from other churches. Want to have a scary, sleepless night? Look at your church’s roster of leaders and then ask where were they discipled.

Measure success in life-change stories, not offering and attendance.
When evaluating systems and programs, start asking about what potential leaders are we developing, what life-change stories are happening.

Don’t start a life group or program without 3 layers of leadership – a Coach, a “leader”, and an apprentice.
A Coach is someone who has been there, done that. Think Yoda. A first line reference guide and source of encouragement for both the leader and the intern. A leader is that catalytic person who makes things happen. The apprentice/intern is the sponge, getting ready to lead, a learner.

Embrace the messiness.
Life is messy. People are messy. Spiritual growth is one messy, sporadic roller coaster ride. Embrace it. If a life group is going through stress or crisis — embrace it. When the wheels fall off the wagon, keep looking for what God is going to do next. Don’t fall in love with easy, neat, organized, and planned.

But this isn’t fiction we are talking about. There are going to be some obstacles. Talk about that later.

Your thoughts? Comments?

Instead of having an outline of points to make, I had questions. Here was the list I brought…

Who can be discipled by you?
How much time do you really have per month to do face to face, 1 on 1 to 3 discipleship?
What skills do you want a person to have after spending 6 months with you?
What key questions should you be asking every time you sit down with a leader?
What’s the focus of the questions you ask the people you are discipling? Are they program/ministry questions or are they soul care questions?
What’s the end game look like? What does maturity look like?

I challenge you to answer those questions before you read much further. At least think on them for 10 seconds.

Okay, I know you didn’t answer them but I’m going to keep writing anyway.

Who can be discipled by you?
How much time do you really have per month to do face to face, 1 on 1 to 3 discipleship?
I only really get 2 to 3 hours a month 1 on 1 with whomever I’m discipling. Serving together is important, doing ministry together is huge but face to face, 1 on 1 conversation time is alarmingly low. That fact alone stresses the importance of being selective in who we disciple. They have to want it as much as you want to give it. They have to be exercising/serving somewhere. For me, they also need to be in a life group – preferably the same one I’m in.

Why do I have all those strings attached? Because if I’m only going to have 2 to 3 hours of 1 on 1 time, we’re going to need more time together. And serving with each other, in the same Life Group, same Bible study just multiplies the effectiveness of that 2 hours of face time. It makes it more like 14 hours a month.

What skills do you want a person to have after spending 6 months with you?
Heard lots of good answers to this question – vision of ministry (love God, live connected, serve in Jesus’ name), an increase hunger for the word of God. The big thing for me is this – movement. I just want to see some movement. Doesn’t necessarily have to be what I wanted it to be but it needs to be something. A change in habit, a change of opinion, an openness to discussion – something. I want to see something in 6 months that clues me in this is a valuable investment of time.

What key questions should you be asking every time you sit down with a leader?
What’s the focus of the questions you ask the people you are discipling? Are they program/ministry questions or are they soul care questions?
This series of questions had the most ‘oohh, ouch’ moments for us. I constantly have to remind myself that my primary aim in discipleship is SOUL CARE, not ministry care. It’s not a sidebar team meeting to figure out how to better run the ministry. Asking questions about ministry allows us to remove the focus from our heart to external things. I need to ask questions that focus on the heart, the soul.

Some of the good questions that came out:
How’s your soul? Mountaintop? Valley? Rut? Stuck? Climbing? Falling?
How’s your relationship with your spouse?
What’s the biggest victory/celebration point in your life?
What’s the biggest frustration right now?
What is God showing you in the scriptures right now?
What challenged you about the last sermon/bible study/life group?
What do you see in my life that you want?
What do you see in my life that I need to change or at the least think about?

What does the journey look like for you? What does maturity in Christ look like?
This was actually tougher to answer than you think. The list at first was pretty task oriented – read more scripture, memorize scripture, able to feed themselves spiritually, know their gift, use their gift. Good stuff but honestly, we can get those things from a large group Bible study or life group. I’ve touted many of those things on the list. But it’s possible to do the list and be no closer to looking like Jesus.

This hit me during our Ephesians study at church – Paul’s answer to what maturity looked like is found in Ephesians 4:1-6. Here’s the short list:

Completely humble
Completely gentle
Completely patient
Bear with one another in love
Keep the Unity thru peace

So that’s the goal for both of us. That means when we sit down and we talk, we’re looking at how to improve in these areas – humility and gentleness being the sledge hammer for me. Actually…patience is another one.

I thought about rolling out a few stories illustrating my wonderful knack of zinging the moment with incredible clarity and sarcasm. There are quite a few of them, more than there should be. I’ve decided against that as well. Besides that, those of you who’ve read this blog from the beginning…both of you…could probably recall better than I specific entries that I need to repent about.

I will say a couple of more things about this whole topic. “I was just being real” isn’t a good excuse for hurting someone. In fact, it’s a terrible one. And while I can’t remember an instance when I was real for the purpose of hurting someone…I can recall many that I did so for the purpose of ‘being right.’ It’s not that much better of a reason. For a long time I thought it was.

I think most of us realize that sometimes the truth hurts. Better are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of an enemy. Most of us understand that. Fewer do it. Even fewer than that pursue those kinds of relationship. But if you only pursue that for the purpose of being right, it’s a dead end. You’ll spend more time justifying your life, judging others and in the end, you’re just a pain in the end.

The real point I’m trying to make is this – real authenticity is being real about who you are for the purpose of life change. Just like true spiritual transformation is being formed to the image of Jesus for the sake of others. There is a subtle but important difference in being changed and authentic for the sake of being ‘right.’

It’s the difference in being a servant and being religious, difference between a repentant tax collector and a Pharisee. Difference in being a pastor (in the best sense of the word) and being a super-Christian.

And hopefully that’s the difference I’m trying to accentuate now.

That we agree on. To what end is where we found ourselves disagreeing. His slant is so that people can figure out who they are and how they wired. A safe place for them to discover who God has created them to be. Where they find freedom from legalism and religion.

I say the point of community is for us to push each other to be more like Jesus – spiritual formation. I don’t need to find my inner Grant. I need my inner Grant to find Jesus and become more and more like Jesus. That’s life, abundant and meaningful.

To some who have no framework of God or discipline – they need some law, some boundaries. To others who are Pharisees, they need some freedom. It’s not a one size fits all commodity. Some need a hug, others need a kick in the hindparts. All need love. All need to serve. All need to worship.

As our conversation continued, I realized how important the distinction is and how that single question sets your life groups for either success or failure. If your Life Groups are basically supper clubs, when hard conversations arise – they either don’t happen or they destroy the group. Because likability and niceness is the goal…not spiritual transformation. If the goal is just to find yourself, you’ll miss Jesus. It makes birthing and reproducing leaders almost impossible because you don’t want to leave that cocoon of niceness. There is no need to stretch or grow once you’ve find ‘it.’

Having spiritual transformation as the end goal makes everything harder and simpler. Now we know we meet and we give people permission to kick over the dark places of our hearts, exposing it to the light of Jesus. Painful? Uncomfortable? You bet. But the purpose isn’t our comfort, it’s to become more like Jesus. Simple to understand…hard to achieve. That becomes the ‘trump card’ of the group. We do what we do because it leads us to spiritual transformation. If it doesn’t – we should not do it. We will choose to do some things that are hard because they lead to Christ-likeness.

So where will we go from here? I’m not sure what the answer is for him and his congregation. I know what it is for me. We’ll choose transformation. It’s harder, slower, and riskier. But it’s what we’re supposed to do. It’s where life, abundant life is.

I wonder what would happen if we did that at Western Hills?

I’m not ready to pull the trigger on the idea yet.  Just thinking out loud – which is risky in doing, especially with a ‘live studio congregation.’

People here aren’t all that different than people there.  Generally speaking, we are frazzled, hurried, hassled, irritated, running around from one event to the next.  There is no rhythm with Christ.  It’s sports, kids, work.  The activity was supposed to make us better, more productive, happier but it’s having the exact opposite effect.

The question I wrestle with is this – what are we saying in our role as a spiritual voice in the middle of this?  What are elevating as ‘right’ and ‘good’ – not just with our words but our calendar, our pace?  Are we making it easier for people to listen and respond to the Spirit?

No answers coming clear today.