Travelling with Matt

Clay’s comment of all these Doctors on the docket then me is probably well deserved. But none of them sported a Bronco jersey or an earring. So I got that going for me.

Matt Davis went with me and I’m glad he did. He’s “one of us.” (LR crew – you know what I’m talking about.) I almost wished we had recorded the drive time because there were some pretty funny times.

For example, Matt starts laughing at this sign:


Needless to say – we had found our slogan for the weekend. Said at completely inappropriate times led to numerous instances of fall down laughter. We were at a youth worker conference so fortunately most everyone there had a great sense of humor. Most everyone.

Which might explain this in the parking lot:


Then again, it might not. I kinda like the Hot Wheels Convention look. I’m not so much a fan of the front windshield and plates. When you paint a van like this, do the Senior groups use it as well? What about the WMU?

Matt also caught this one:


I have a few problems with the plate holder but you know – it’s on a beat up mini-van, the official car of the Religious Right. The Bible – Life’s Instruction Manual. It should have come with another saying – “Used without Author leads to Death.” Of course that would have been one heck of a plate holder. The record needs to show that “Life’s Instruction Manual” didn’t make them any better drivers. They used no turn signals coming out of Sonic.

Another thing I learned about Matt…he’s a total guy. For example, we’re talking about our seasons on NCAA College Football ’06. We have a bathroom break and finish our conversation in the bathroom but no NEW conversation is started until after we leave the restroom.

Every guy knows this is exactly the correct protocal. It’s legit to FINISH or CONTINUE a conversation in bathroom. It is NEVER okay to START or INITIATE a conversation while standing in front of a urinal. (Which, Cathy, brings up a question. Grammatically I know that it should be “an urinal” but “a urinal” sounds better. Do we have a ruling on this?)

Along the same lines, a few hours later and few subject changes later, I randomly ask Matt – “Do you use a 3-4 or a 4-3?”

“A 4-3.”

Couple of guy things about this interaction…it doesn’t matter that our original conversation was over 30 minutes ago. It’s perrfectly legit for me to continue that conversation as if it never ended. A true guy knows this and will continue conversation as well. Matt did.

Secondly, he knew what the heck 3-4 and 4-3 meant instantly – with no explanation needed.

For all that are lost, allow me to explain. After a few minutes of pondering other important points, I realized that Matt and I failed to cover the basic defensive package we use with our college teams on the video game. A 3-4 (3 defensive lineman, 4 linebackers) OR a 4-3 (4 defensive lineman, 3 linebackers). To which Matt uses the 4-3.

Another guy trait – we smoothly transitioned from that conversation to the necessity of deeper discipleship in the church as opposed to more activity. Guys can do this. In the span of 5 minutes we can be horribly rude, insensitive, shallow, and deep. And we’re okay with that.

Another thing we learned on the trip – I have a major hole in my music collection. In the transition to all things digital, I learned that Eric Clapton is missing from my iPod. I realized this after I heard a version of his “Cocaine” song. I’m sure how this happened.

I’ll blog more tomorrow about the actual content of the weekend but I thought inquiring minds might want to know these things.


12 thoughts on “Travelling with Matt

  1. did you drive through gove kansas? it seems like there is always something to laugh about in the middle of kansas, especially at 2 in the morning when me and heather have the job of keeping you up. haha.


  2. Sounds like you and Matt covered some Man Laws on your trip. Like never beginning a conversation while AT the urinal, but continuing and finishing, is appropriate – MAN LAW.

    Or, it is perfectly acceptable to continue a conversation, even after the conversation has ended, as long as it is a point of inquiry or clarification – MAN LAW!

    Ok, maybe – maybe not.


  3. OK, I probably wouldn’t have even thought anything about this except for reading this post. Right after reading I get into my car (I was at Panera) and the car in front of me had my snapjudgments sensor pinging. Side by side on the back of the car:

    A Valencia Community College Parking Sticker
    A Jesus Fish
    A Sexy On Board Sticker

    Maybe the girl in the car is married and proud of her sexuality as well as her Christianity. And monkeys are flying out of my butt. OK, I’m judgemental.


  4. I did not know anything about men’s room etiquette, until I saw what my son had posted on his myspace. I don’t want to paste his myspace link here, so…

    Not sure if this link will work. Let me know if it doesnt. Somehow I think you will get a kcik out of it…must be a guy thing.


  5. hey g- this is cindy, not jlo. and i must say i appreciate your clarification of the man laws, specifically the one stating “In the span of 5 minutes we can be horribly rude, insensitive, shallow, and deep. And we’re okay with that.” If that really is true, and if it really is part of God’s design for men and He’s ok w/ it, too, then I will stop criticizing over what to me is an apparent weakness. 🙂 I feel both enlightened and ready to extend grace to the next man who adheres to this man law in my presence. Thanks to you, I have reached a turning point in my relations with the other gender. Esp. my husband. A little clarity goes a long way. Much obliged. If you can think of any other man laws that would be worth knowing, please send them my way. (non-urinal related, of course)


  6. I can’t quote any sources, but I’m pretty sure that one should use an “a” before words beginning with “u” that sound like they starts with a “y”…e.g.”a ukelele”, “a urinal”, etc.; one should use an “an” before words beginning with “u” that sound like they begin with a “u”…e.g. “an umbrella”, “an undershirt”, etc.
    Those are my thoughts, anyway.
    Aren’t you glad you asked?!


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