More Questions From Great Sex

Here’s the devo I wrote this week….

Time to go to the mailbag for some more questions on our current series GREATsex.

Is great sex possible for those who have been abused? Or those who have a past of sexual sins?
I’m actually going to speak about this topic this coming Sunday. I really encourage you to be a part of our worship services this weekend, I think there will be some help for us in scriptures.

I’m married. I love my spouse but our sex life is a disaster. Are there any Christian resources that can help us?
I’d recommend two great resources.

First, Intended For Pleasure by Ed and Gaye Wheat. There are newer books written about sexual issues from a Christian perspective but not any better than this one.

Second, Restoring The Pleasure by Clifford and Joyce Penner. The Penners have actually written a few books on this topic and you’re not going to go wrong with any of their books. But this one specifically deals with problems and barriers in the sexual component of a marriage.

Fair warning about both books: The authors are Christ-followers and the intended audience for these books are married couples. They speak bluntly about sex and sex techniques. It is not for the easily offended. But I’m guessing you are not one of those since you asked the question.

At what age should I start talking to my children about sex?
As soon as you can. Don’t treat sex as the “unspeakable subject” at your house. When we are quiet about topics in our homes, we allow the culture around us to have a larger voice in our kids lives. Your home is the best chance for your kids to learn about sex correctly and from a godly perspective.

So, when they ask, answer them. Obviously we want to be age appropriate in our response. Kids are curious and most of the time their questions are just innocent inquiries. So be sure to answer the question they are asking, nothing more, nothing less. And answer it in a way that they can understand.

Couple of great resources:

How and When To Tell Your Kids About Sex

Passport2Purity from FamilyLife.com.

Is it okay for a Christian couple to watch porn as long as they are both okay with it?
No. Pornography is deadly to oneness. It is the exact opposite of intimacy – which is the foundation of great sex. Porn introduces another person or persons into the marriage bed, it provokes feeling of lust, and it never satisfies. Introducing this into a marriage is just bad news and won’t end well.

My spouse seems intent on watching inappropriate movies. What can I do? Am I to blame?
If by inappropriate we mean porn, then I’d suggest at least these 4 things:
First, pray for him/her that God would give them freedom from this.
Second, find a private time and place to talk about the behavior and how it hurts you and the marriage.
Third, offer some solutions that you both can live with. Put a filter on computer (Covenant Eyes). Move computer to main floor where everybody can see. No TV alone. Call each other when the urge to watch porn starts.
Fourth, find someone other than spouse to be accountable to.

Join us this Sunday as we wrap up our series on GREATsex. This week’s topic: Do-Overs.

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