Ever get in a place where everything that really annoys all of a sudden gets crystal clear in your mind? I’m in that place this right now.
People who post pictures of cats. I don’t get it. It’s a cat. You know that thing didn’t pose for it. It didn’t lick your hand or wag its tail as a reward for posing for that picture. Cats get their dander over everything. They pee in your suitcase or on your clothes if you are a guest in a house that has a cat. You don’t own a cat. You share a living space.
Leaving Seat All The Way Up To The Steering Wheel. We have two teenagers driving. It’s just stressful all the time but most of that I can manage. It’s getting in the car and having my legs chopped off at the knee that is going to kill me eventually.
People who stand in line for a long period of time only to get to front and not know what they want. I’m not talking about restaurants. I’m talking about McDonald’s. They haven’t changed their menu in 75 years. Did you really come to McDonald’s because of the incredible variety and quality of food? No. Convenience.
Automated phone menus. The ones that you can just speak, no need to hit any buttons are the worse.
Ranch Dressing. My kids went through this phase where we had to have ranch dressing at every meal. Not for the salad but for everything else. I’m pretty sure it’s a common stage now – terrible twos, terrible threes, curious fours, ranch on everything fives.
Mustard on sausage for breakfast. Again – Amy’s family introduced this horrible tradition to the kids. Mustard. In the morning for breakfast. Anytime, really but for breakfast?
Leaving the empty box in the pantry. You want a granola bar or snack or Nutter Butter and you run to the pantry, grab the box and it’s empty. Who does that? Who takes the last Nutter Butter and puts the empty box BACK in the pantry??
Using two parking spaces at grocery store. There is always grace for parking on snowy days. But on a clear, beautiful day there is no excuse for putting your vehicle in two spaces. Or not pulling all the way up so that the back-end of your SUV sticks out in the road and we all have to dodge it drive around again because you took up two spaces.
Long voicemail messages. Do you know how irritating and confusing it is to see a voicemail message 5 minutes long? It sends me into this deep, existential debate. Is it that important to leave a 5 minute message? Can’t be. If it was an emergency, I’d get multiple calls, right? Or texts? But if it’s 5 minutes long – it’s gotta be more important than just – call me back, right?
Have I mentioned cats?
Okay. I think I feel a little better.