BUT we mean well.
I’m getting ready for Saving Mr. Banks on Sunday and the movie is perfect for Father’s Day. I’m not going to unwrap all of my thoughts here – gotta save some for Sunday – but let me just ramble about this for a minute.
I don’t care how many parenting books you read, seminars you take – it’s different when it’s your kid. Having kids does something to your brain. I can’t explain it fully. I’m in the middle of it myself but I used to be cool and I used to be rational.
I’m neither now.
I completely lost it the other day in Kohl’s with Camber. Was she disobedient? Defiant? Was she caught with drugs? Did she threaten to leave home, join a circus, and one day be on a reality TV series?
No. None of those things.
I turned around in the store and she wasn’t there. I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t find her.
For 10 seconds.
Now here are the facts – she’s 14. She’s smart. She can handle herself. She wasn’t more than 25 feet away from me but in that 10 seconds when I couldn’t see her or find her – I became…the Hulk. I couldn’t form complete sentences. I know the other two kids thought I was having a heart-attack.
When she waltzed up to me without a care in the world – I unloaded.
Completely a “Jerk of the Year” move on my part. She didn’t deserve it. But I couldn’t NOT keep it together.
I apologized later. I did. I think she understood. I know she did.
I told her – I don’t expect you to understand my periodic outbursts of complete panic. They at times even surprise myself. I just need you to understand that I love you, I don’t have a clue what to do at times but I mean well. I’m going to try as best I can to always do what is best for you.
Most dads I know are in the same boat with me. I’ll have more on Sunday.