Hey Philly – Enjoy The Tebow Experience

As a Denver Bronco fan, I’d like to give Philly fans some helpful advice now that the evangelical equivalent of the Pope is playing for their team.

There is good news and bad news.

Let’s start with the good.

You won’t have to worry about him getting arrested at a club or beating his wife/girlfriend/live-in mother of his kids. You won’t have to worry about him getting into a car chase around Liberty Hall or being on the front page for a DUI. Nor will you have to read about him saying really stupid things on Twitter like “FREE Insert-latest-NFL-Player-who-has-been-arrested” or “I don’t understand our justice system that puts away guilty people instead of letting them go free.” You won’t read his name and the following words ever together: strip club, alimony, deadbeat dad, domestic violence, arrested, arraigned, grand jury, or indictment.

He’s not going badmouth the ownership or his teammates or the city. Even when you boo him – and let’s face it, we all know that you are going to boo him – he won’t flinch, he won’t whine, he won’t say or do anything in retaliation. He won’t throw a temper tantrum on the sidelines or otherwise act like a prima donna.

He’ll show up to practice everyday, work-out, stay late, show up early, sign your kids autographs, visit sick kids in the hospital…heck, he may even build a hospital for you.

So what exactly is there not to love?

There are a couple of things that you probably already know about but I’ll cover just in case you lived in a cave the last time Tebow was on a NFL roster.

He has a following. And they are legion. I have a relative who honestly believes that whoever has Tebow on their team is automatically God’s favorite team. I kid you not. She also thinks that the Jet’s organization is going to straight to the hot place because of how they treated him. I haven’t the heart to tell her that they were probably going straight there anyway for other reasons, but I digress.

Because he is the real deal, a bona-fide hero on the character side of the equation, God-fearers everywhere root for him. They buy his jersey with no fear of any team having to issue a refund or buy-back.

And Tebow buys into the hype.

He’s a great guy, high character but for all his goodness, his fatal flaw, his Achilles heel is his need/hunger/craving to be a NFL QB and his followers feed this beast inside him. Tight end? Fullback? Receiver? None of those were/are an option for the gifted, intelligent Heisman Winner. He wants to be a QB. And he won’t budge on that.

Which leads me to the second bit of bad news…

He can’t pass the ball.

I’m serious.

He looks great in warm-up. He looks great in 7 on 7 drills.

But live action, real speed, precision route, small window, NFL football situations are a complete disaster. He throws it like the running back or wide receiver who is asked to throw the ball on those two, maybe three trick plays a year. You figure that the shock factor will leave the receiver on the other end so wide open that all he has to do is get it in the same zip code.

Remember Walter Payton throwing the football? Or for you hard-core Denver fans – Steve Sewell? That’s Tim Tebow.

On every play.

He is a Mack truck of a man and has the accuracy to prove it. He will finish the day 2/17, 1 TD, 1 INT and 67 yards rushing. And normally that enough for a win – which makes no sense what-so-ever, but it happens. He will make you shake your head, pull our your hair, scream at the TV, and kick your dog all at the same time.

He will increase your faith as you will pray to God in ways you never dreamed you would.

And the really good news?

All of this normally only lasts one or two seasons at the max.

You can thank me later. For now, enjoy the experience.


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