I’ve been quiet on the blog for a few months and that’s by design. Attempting to put in a new discipline in my life. Not as much writing about Jesus. More about BEING with Jesus.
I’ve been guilty of doing the former more than the latter. One of the dangers of my job, I guess. Having to teach and be “on for Jesus” puts pressure on one to perform more than to just be.
But I still have times when the words stream out and today was one of those days.
I have the Bible app and it dings me every morning with the verse of the day. Typically I read it, pray over it for about 5 minutes then go on to Oswald Chambers (or whoever I am reading at the moment) but today’s verse ambushed me.
I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the Lord and seeking him in his temple. Psalms 27:4. CSB
Think about that first statement. “I’ve asked one thing from the Lord…”
Not hardly. I’ve asked for safety, strength, health, favor, comfort, wisdom, insight, courage, faith, words to say, and discipline to keep quiet. I prayed for me, my wife, my kids, my friends, my church, co-workers – heck, I’ve even prayed FOR my enemies lots of those things.
And don’t get me started on what I really desire.
It’s not that I don’t want Jesus. It’s that I don’t ONLY want Jesus.
Yes, I want Jesus but I also want…other stuff. And I’m not talking about the list of ‘new’ things. I don’t want a new car, a new house, a new job or whatever else new you’d like to put on that list.
But ask me if I want Jesus more than I want my family to be healthy? Safe? Happy? Ask me if I want Jesus more than I want to see my kids struggle through something in their own life? Ask me if I want Jesus more than I want financial security or job security or relationship security?
Do I have to answer? The fact is my soul already has answered and He knows it. He knows I’m compromised, that my belief fluctuates from being as strong as steel to as feeble as cardboard. He knows what I wrestle with daily and the Psalmist is in the same boat. The rest of the psalm is a plea to God to save his life from his surrounding enemies. So it’s not as altruistic as it first sounded.
I have snapshots and living, breathing examples in my life where all of Jesus is all I needed. I have story after story of His presence was more than the calm, the strength, the courage, the insight, the wisdom I needed. I can point to you time after time where Jesus has conclusively and without doubt proven to me – over and over again – that He is all I need and will EVER need.
How much time do you have? I can fill it with personal stories – not other people’s stories – mine own of how when I am focused and walking with Him, it’s the best thing ever in EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE.
So two profound truths hits at this point.
Profound Truth #1: This is what Heaven is really like. It’s about Jesus. All and only about Jesus. It’s not about playing golf with our departed loved ones, or fishing forever with the disciples. It’s not about streets of gold, eating what ever we want without having to count calories – or whatever ridiculous stream of pleasures you think Heaven is going to provide.
Heaven is about eternity with JESUS in a way that is impossible to be with Jesus today. Today gives us the taste, the glimpse of that reality is going to be like. It’s an awesome, wonderful taste. But if you don’t want that taste today – you’re not going to want anything that Heaven offers. If that glimpse doesn’t fire you up now, Heaven has nothing for you. Because Jesus is ALL that Heaven offers. Jesus IS Heaven.
Profound Truth #2: Why is it today I still struggle to find time for Him? Why is it today the numbers in the bank are louder than His voice? Why is it today I will worry about my daughters more than I will pray for them? Why is it today I desire to be seen as productive rather than connected to Him? Why is it today my circumstances are winning instead of Him?
I have no answer for the question. Perhaps it is part of the answer. He uses our struggle in ways we do and do not understand. We know the struggle is real and we know it makes us stronger. But there are times, I don’t want to be stronger. I just want Him.
I think Psalm 27 was written on a day like that. And I wonder if God wants us to have more of those kinds of day.